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You are…

“You are what you eat.” How many times have I heard that line before? It is almost like the advertisement from the late 80’s – Farmer Brown’s Chickens. “They look so good because they eat so good.” I can still recall the oom‘s voice (oom just sounds better here than uncle). If I recall correctly it was a bit of a husky voice (is that the right term? In Afrikaans we call it rasperstem.)

Husky voice or not, that line always stayed with me. When I was older, I even joked about my body by saying “I look so good because I eat so good!” Because let us be honest. Anything refined, sweet and unhealthy is the nicest to eat!

And so it happened, that God showed me a few years ago, while channel hopping on TV (almost as fast as popcorn that jumps while being made), pausing for a brief moment on one or another absurd reality show. I just have to interrupt myself here – my goodness, what a long sentence with very little punctuation marks! I feel out of breath just reading through it….

Anyway, as we were watching these people, everyone in search of something that they do not know what it is that they are looking for (they looked helpless and lost in this show as it was one or another weird dating something or another), God dropped in my spirit You are because I am. It was in English and just like that. For a moment I thought about it and then I realised that this is so true! God referred to Himself as I am who sent Moses to the Pharaoh, did he not? Oh my goodness, did I spell Pharaoh correct??? You know, the guy with the goatie that enslaved the Israelites, the Egyptian king. That is the guy I am talking about!

Jump forward to 2020 or 2021 (I don’t even know anymore when what happened because everything seems like a blur). Somewhere there, I wrote on my own personal Facebook page something similar to this article I am writing, and that we are because God is. But later God expanded even more on this for me.

You are what you eat, what you think and what you speak. And just like that, everything falls into place in my head (I actually cannot explain HOW that happens, it just does). Body, mind or soul (not sure whether to use mind or soul here in Afrikaans it is Liggaam, siel en gees) and spirit. You are that which goes around in your heart (there is a bible verse to this effect is there not? Somewhere in Psalms?). You are what you think in your mind (and then speak). You are what you physically eat.

The power of life and death is in the tongue – it says so in the Bible too….so we must be aware of what we speak, as this manifests in the flesh normally….and actually what you speak starts with what goes on in our hearts, does it not? Does it make sense what I am saying here?

I recon from these Godly thoughts (not me but God for sure!) is where Beroepsvrou started to exist. For YEAAARS I thought that I, Elsie, am the only one that does not wake up with a song in my heart and birds that chirp just for me in the mornings. You know, almost like Snow White that whistles and then all the birds come to do what ever they do for her. I thought that is how it should be….

I know, it is a fairy tale full of lies, but give me credit. I have said it before, I feel like a late bloomer when it comes to things like this (at least I did not come to this realisation now only, probably early 30’s if I really have to draw a timeline for you and no, I did not think the little birdies will do my work for me). Now, to get back to Beroepsvrou…that what you are fits in so nicely with the whole theme of Beroepsvrou and the Pink Feathers range and what I stand for.

Pink Feathers for God. Your spiritual (and soul I suppose) person is fed with what goes on in your mind and heart. From there the Pink Feathers for God….but what God actually showed me is that the apron was the forerunner to the whole Pink Feathers range.

When you put on an apron, you are busy serving other people with food. A bit of a double meaning with the apron. But you are also busy preparing something to feed your body with (you must look after your temple that God gave you – THAT also stands in the Bible).

It feels to me as if I am talking deurmekaar as I call it in Afrikaans. But I believe that God will pull all the strings together here so that those who read this will understand. We also have to constantly refresh our minds and thoughts with God’s word so that our hearts do not turn black and ugly, so that our mouths do not speak curses and our bones do not dry out from this which we speak.

Back to the aprons – recently I had the absolute privilege to bless a local school’s Consumer Study children with aprons (absolutely in order from God) and I further had the privilege to speak to them for 5 minutes (ok maybe 10 minutes, I am not sure), serving them with what God has laid on my heart and Beroepsvrou and the Pink Feathers.

I cannot recall what I said and it felt like I did not talk sense at all, but I believe that seed was sown that day and that it will come up when the time is right…I also know that I am busy growing, learning and that God will absolutely put the right words into my mouth when I go to the next school to serve them with God’s word and to bless them with the aprons.

The conclusion that I want to make about this piece is, you are what you eat, you are what you think and you are what you speak. This is what will manifest in our lives and this is within our control and in our hands. That is actually THE ONLY THING we have control over. Wow, what a wonderful revelation. I have known this for a while now, that this is the only thing we can control, but God has just put it all together so beautifully and finished it off with the blog and the Pink Feathers range…

All the glory be to God always! May this blog always be what God has planted in my heart, to put it into words for others to read and may this NEVER be about me!! He inspires me, gives me the knowledge and wisdom, the vision and talents to do what is busy happening…

Jy is…
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The sweet words… Chapter 1

Before I start writing entry, I just want to say – I know the picture at the beginning of the article is the one for January on the desk pad calendar. Obviously I could not take a picture of every month’s page as that would have affected my stock’s quality….and I cannot take a picture of mine because it is scribbled full of notes….and I only have the Afrikaans one on my desk….

This particular item in the Pink Feathers range, has been used by myself better than what I ever could imagine. You see, I was very skeptical about the desk pad, wondering if I ever will use it. Well, all doubts are gone now and I think I have become a desk pad-using-gal. Now, with that admin being said, I can continue writing about this month’s scripture.

Proverbs 16:24 – Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet and delightful to the soul and healing to the body. When I got the scriptures for each month last year, I never would have guessed how applicable each month’s scripture would be.

You see, February is our busiest month. It is financial year end. A fairly rough time if I can refer to it like that. Little sleep, long hours and the normal life in between everything else (even a birthday on the 7th nogal – one of the deadline days). Our kids know already but I cannot keep wondering if they really do understand? Or are we busy making scars for them? This that we work, work and work some more.

So now you probably wonder how the scripture ties in with February? You see, when you are not under pressure, it is easy to comply with this scripture. It is when you are under pressure that it becomes harder to comply. Without saying much more in a month like February the pressure IS more so the challenge with this scripture will be bigger than normal…

But, it is not necessarily when WE experience pressure that WE have to be mindful of our words. Many times for me, it is when I do not experience sweet words from my clients that it hurts. You know, those words that just brutally breaks down the one thing you worked so hard to do as thorough and accurate as you could. Critisising everything you have ever stood for.

When everything you have ever done for someone with rightousness and integrity is broken down to a big pile of nothing. When accusations are thrown around (yes you guessed it, a similar occurence took place during the first week of February like it has happened before). It is then that I think of this scripture. Because such words are not sweet for the soul and healing to the bones.

To be continued…

Die soet woorde… Hoofstuk 1
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The Burpee…

No, not that type of burpee where you break up winds. The exercise called a BURPEE. That is how it feels to me since 15 March 2020. As if I must do emotional Burpees, even if I am not able or ready to do it.

Before I started Cross Fit in February 2020, I also did not know WHAT a burpee was. I learned the hard way though and in the process I became more fit physically.

Do your self a favour and google what a Burpee is if you are uncertain. Let me tell you, the people in the videos make it look EASY. When last did you do a Burpee? Have you ever done a Burpee?

With that being said and me going off point (again), I experienced this whole Pandemic as emotional exhaustion. And the only thing I can compare it with is a hectic heavy exercise such as a Burpee. One thing you must know about Burpees is, they make you fit like nothing else.

But it is hard. Grueling. To be exhausted like this emotionally and to be at a point where you just CANNOT go on anymore is tough! I know that I am NOT the only one that feels like this. It is as if these feelings are flaring up again everywhere, just like during and after the first hard lockdown.

The whole world expects one to function like normal. To go on as if nothing happened and to work as if there is nothing wrong. That while nothing is normal. Was it even normal to begin with? Or where we caught up in this lie of what we perceived to be normal?

You see, in my line of work (and here all accountants will agree and understand) things are just getting harder and hardee. The institutions you work with become more strict, issue penalties much quicker and faster and sometimes it feels just unfair. We are expected to perform, while it feels like they are doing very little from their side to make things work and make progress on finalising matters that have been with them for months!

The emotional wellness of people are not taken into consideration. Illnesses, days in isolation, compassion towards people are just not taken into consideration….is that then not the same as expecting someone to do a Burpee the whole day, every day?

From the moment that you wake up until you go to bed, you must do at least one burpee per second. Let us say it is 12 hours (we all know it is more as none of us sleep for 12 hours in a day). 60 minutes per hour. 60 seconds in every minute. Thus 12 hours x 60 minutes x 60 seconds. 43,200 burpees. And yes, I used my calculator for this calculation, purely because my brain in incapable of thinking this hard and do calculations to this extent. And now I doubt if I even did this calculation right….

Then I start to wonder…..is it God’s way to make us fit? Can He be this cruel? Getting us fit for what? The end times? I know that going through hardship forms you and shapes you….but I don’t know. I still wonder about the Pandemic.

When I started writing this article, it was January. Now it is February. January was for me and many people with whom I had discussions, an EXCEPTIONALLY (I use caps to express how I experienced it) tough month. It was as if there was this block and cloud hanging over us.

Your mind reminds you about everything that must be done, but at the same time it is on some or another strike that refuses point blank to continue to do these burpees. Then he condems you by reminding you how far you have fallen behind and that you will never be able to catch up your daily 43,200 burpees that is expected from you. You barely did ten for the day…..

As I was thinking about this article and talked to God about it between everything else, He sends me 2 songs. The first one is Hello, my name is… by Matthew West and the second one is en Borrow (one day at a time) by Josh Wilson.

Both songs had such a great impact on those thoughts that were moving around in my mind. The thoughts that made me feel that what I am doing is not even close to a burpee. I realise that this what I am feeling, is NOT from God. I serve a living God of order and full of love.

Then I softly and in my mind sing (for a few days now I might add) the words from Josh Wilson’s song…..Don’t Borrow, no trouble from tomorrow…..na na na….one day, one day, one day at a time! And I know that God calmed me (suddenly from beginning of February) so that I can focus on that which lies ahead relating to work.

We are all on our way to checking in at the Accountant’s Inn just to be forced to work behind your computer and desk with a ball and chain. To go speed dating with your clients and their tax matters. To pray that your speed date appointment allows you to see everything and to account for everything so that you don’t have to sit, later in the year, with your hands in your hair about not paying enough tax….

Die Burpee…
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The continuous ethics training

Yes, I am talking about this topic again. January 2022 is gone (how I do not know but it is over) and I have not done ANYTHING to make progress on my continuous ethics training hosted by Tall Trees. I enrolled in September 2021 for a 12 month programme.

I started it with the hope and anticipation that I would do my bit every week so that this training is NOT like a mountain in front of me. But, guess what? Life happened! Work life and life-life’s life happened…

I started off well and somewhere in September I started watching the first lot of videos, made notes, etc. But then the end of year rush started, as I like to refer to it (this starts normally around September) and there is that plan up in smoke.

End of December I was sitting in front of my computer doing my tax training that was required before the 31st. (Yes, I have to do that TOO between everything else). I realised, as I was working through everything, that I NEVER finished my first month of ethics training…..

Luckily one can do this in your own time and when it suites you, which is not necessarily good for my personality….because training actually never suites me. Let us be honest, no one is ever wanting to do training. There are always more important things to do, work, children, etc….

But this training is different. I WANT to do it, it is just the number of hours in a day and week does not permit me to do training. This is not hard, it is interesting and insightful. If you break it down the way that they wrote it, then it is manageable in my opinion.

We must just get our heads around it and do it. Something that I can confirm is, that I do try my very best to prioritise my tasks, all which are written in a book by the way, into the 4 quadrants that Lynette spoke about in the very first video….

It will definitely help one to prioritise, it is just hard for me to distinguish which tasks are Important & Urgent. Because it is these tasks that requires priority attention – those which are both important AND urgent….and no one else can help me except me. I really still feel like a headless chicken, January was a difficult month in the sense of getting started again after the holiday.

I am most certainly going to try my utmost best to get to my ethical training again this coming week….maybe I can learn a little something that I can apply to my ever increasing and growing list. The work that comes in at 90 miles per hour while I get work out at 1 mile per hour….

I pray for help from above, because alone I cannot do it…as the Psalm writer wrote – I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord who created heaven and earth…..

Die deurlopende etiese opleiding

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The Career woman from the bible – grand finalé

While doing this entry, I look at the date and see that it is end of January 2022! How did that happen? Yesterday it was still December, we were on leave, preparing for the new school year in 2022 and poof just like that it is the end of February….

I chewed and thought about the scripture about Deborah the whole month, a bit longer actually. None the less. I still have a lot of questions (it feels like a thousand) about her. Answers that I do not see at first glance in the scripture. Did people treat her with respect or did they treat her the way they sometimes treat me? That is something I don’t know…

I noted however, that she WORKED WHILE she was a prophet. In other words, she was not FULL TIME in ministry. No, she had her day job too that required her attention.

Now that answers quite a bit of questions that I have currently and had in the past. For a long time it felt wrong to work and not be in ministry full time. Not being able to do what I perceive God wants me to do.

The long and short of what I read between the lines of this bible verse is, she had to make time to spend time with God to be able to be a prophet. That is not something that just happened all by itself. As a human being, she had to put in effort to hear from God what it is that she was supposed to do. This is my own conclusion and to me it is logic and makes sense.

The lesson that I learnt from Deborah? It is ok to be a working career woman. It is ok not to be in full time ministry, winning over souls for heaven. It is ok to not go into Africa, living off one tin of canned food per month, struggling without running water as a full time evangelist (not that this was ever what I felt I had to do, but you understand what I am trying to say here). It is not meant for everyone to win over souls for heaven in THAT manner.

You can do it WHILE you are working and exercising your career. I for one, see lots of people all day, everyday (ok not that much but I am in contact with people and the outside world). Why can I not use the position that God placed me in to spread the gospel? There is nothing wrong with that?

It all comes back to my work and this blog. Even though I thoroughly enjoy blogging (because here it feels like I am plugged into God’s voice and can HEAR what He tells me), it is ok to work too. The secret is that I must make TIME to spend with Him in His word. I have to make TIME to blog, this is when I hear His voice. I experience Him in a way while blogging that I cannot explain or experience in any other way.

The blog is certainly not a hobby or something that I do just for fun. It is also not my way of coping with things. No, it is MY way of spending time with God. He knows I cannot spend hours reading bible or drawing pictures in my journaling bible, or even do bible study the way other people do it.

No, this, together with the Pink Feathers range deskpads, is MY way of spending time with God. Many people ask me and comment about HOW I manage to get everything done between life, work and children. The only difference between them and me, is, the way that I spend time with God, is on a public platform, a place where everyone can see it. Theirs is private where no one can see it.

Now I am not saying this to let anyone feel bad, because the time you spend with God is between you and Him. But for some people, some of us, He called to be different. Doing things in a way that is different than the way majority of people do it. How are we going to make a difference if everyone does everything in the same manner?

For the first time since launching the Pink Feathers range (yes, the crazy plan as I refer to it and what I thought about yesterday afternoon as to why I did it) I understand better why God destined it to be in this manner. It is not necessarily for anyone else. It is for me to spend time with Him. And if I can help motivate and support someone else through this, then so much better.

The bible says that we have our testimonies and that God will use it to save people (or something to that effect – this I am trying to recall off the top of my head and there is the possibility that I have it slightly wrong…I will double check this though, just for myself). Important thing to remember is that the Holy Spirit will do the convincing not the people. Our testimonies are ALL that we have to tell people about God, to spread His word and tell people about His miracles. Let us use it!

Till next month…..

Die Bybelse Beroepsvrou – Slot
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The Career woman from the Bible – Chapter 3

While designing the Pink Feathers range last year and choosing the scriptures for each month for the deskpad calendar, I sensed that God wanted me to blog about each month’s scripture that was chosen.

I did it without hesitation but still did not know HOW I was going to do it, how often I would write something or what I will have to say about each scripture. I thought to myself that I am more than likely to only make one entry about the scripure.

But here I am, typing away at chapter 3. In particular the scripture about Deborah was interesting to me. I mean, how much can one write about the limited information available to us in the Bible about her? This is where the part of the Living Word of God comes in. You see, the more you read it and the more you think about it (I do it the whole day while working) the more God reveals to you.

On Friday we were at our children’s athletics. It was interesting and new to us, because we moved to a new school and we have been a bit out of it when it comes to activities such as these. Next to our overly big borrowed Gazebo, was another couple sitting under a beach umbrella.

We invited them to share the shade of our gazebo if the sun gets too hot and too much. Initially they sat in the shade of the gazebo (but next to it) and still under their umbrella. Eventually the sun was too hot and they moved into the shade with us.

At some stage (before we all shared the same shade under the gazebo) I saw the wife on a laptop with a headset. She was attending a virtual meeting. Just like that, next to the athletics field. I realised immediately that I am not alone in trying to keep all the balls in the air. The constant juggling game.

This I have known for some time now, but it is as if God just came to show it to me again. Everyone has one or another challenge. Majority of woman these days are Career woman. Everyone has a role they portray.

Everyone can identify with Deborah who was a Career woman. Everyone is standing at the beginning of a new work year, school year, what ever the new year means to you – everyone gets to stand in front of it and have to find their rhythm. Sometimes people feel alone and as if they are the only ones that feel this way.

That is why the scripture about Deborah was chosen for January. Just a little something to help everyone, to support them. To remind you that you are not alone. All woman who portray a career role have some or other challenge.

We are not alone! Know this – you are not alone! Everyone feel the way they do at times and that is ok. The most important thing to remember is to look for God in everything and to move into His rest. When we are in His rest everything else falls into place. It is easier said than done, especially if you are like me, trying to plan and do everything without errors the first time….

Grand finalé to follow.…

Die Bybelse Beroepsvrou – Hoofstuk 3
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The Career woman from the Bible – chapter 2

As I am struggling to cope with our new routine (the routine is hectic with getting up earlier and everything having to happen 1 to 2 hours earlier than what we are used to AND this entry took a week to finish between and amongst everything else), I wonder about Deborah. Did she have kids? I cannot see that from the information available in the Bible.

She was married, that I know. What I also noted was that she was a leader. Why do you say she was a leader? You may ask. Well, she was a judge and judges portray a leadership role.

But the biggest of all is that she was a prophet. Wow. That is huge. Profits have this special connection with God (my opinion) and not that other normal people don’t have that connection – I am sure you understand what I am trying to say. But in that time, in her time, God only spoke through the prophets…..

I jump back to reality, to 2022. I, Elsie, cannot compare myself to Deborah. What I can do is to try and learn and understand what she did in the Bible and maybe try to apply some of it in my own life.

I most definitely would like to have had an interview with Deborah. I think I would have had more than 20 questions. How do you feel after a long day’s work? Do you get tired? Do you become impatient with your husband (and children)? Do you get frustrated with your work?

So the list of questions go on and on. I think the most important point that I want to close off with about Deborah is that she was a normal person (I don’t read anywhere in the Bible that she was born with golden teeth and silk for hair). No, she was just a human….one that was prepared to be God’s instrument.

Deborah was a woman, a leader, a prophet. She was God’s instrument that He used to address the Israelites…..just as I was finishing off this entry, I drove behind a car with Jer 1v5 on it. Just that. Not Jeremiah written out in English or Jeremia in Afrikaans.

I read the scripture in the Bible. I think I was like one of those cartoon characters whose jaws fell open. It reads as follows: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (KJV).

Wow, that is just a confirmation to me and just connects and fits in with the scripture of this month. God has chosen each and everyone of us even before we were formed in the mother’s womb, to be where we are today. To do what we have been called to do. That is HUGE. We cannot put God in a box, even though we sometimes try…..

To be continued ….

Die Bybelse Beroepsvrou – hoofstuk 2
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The first week back….

Oh my WORD!! Let me tell you, we are all still trying to recover from the first week back in routine and on top of it all, a new school with new times and everything new in terms of routine.

You name it, it is new for us…..books must be covered and that is literally happening between 3 and 4 in the morning (ok maybe rather between 4 and 5 in the morning) because there is no other time to do this. I feel like a sleep walker. I become MOMSTER.

My husband asks me what is wrong, I probably looked at him with this expression on my face. You know, the one that says That is a stupid question dude! I have been up since 4 in the morning! I don’t think I really answered him, except saying that I am TIRED. But we survived.

How, I do not know, but we did. We were not late for school, got everything done that the school had asked us to do and I could manage to attend my exercise class on Wednesday afternoon. You are probably wondering why it is so heavy for us to get back into routine? Previously we could drop our kids a bit later in the mornings, but now we have to drop them half an hour earlier, which means that everything we do must move up by a half an hour or even more…..it is a lot and a huge adjustment….and where we live it means we must travel more and further than people that live in town…

With this uncertainty inside me, I wonder HOW I am going to manage everything this year, especially this month and February. Normally there is not enough time to get everything done, now even more so. On top of it all we have to attend some school activities, fitting it in between everything else….

I hyperventilate when no one is watching, because I must keep my pose. I still want to panic and run like the gif of Sponge Bob and Patrick, running and screaming like a crazy person. How do people do it?? How do other moms get it right??

How do people that work from 8 to 5 full time, without domestic workers do it? How do you stay sane AND get time for yourself AND all the other admin in and around the house? Do they sleep less? I wonder by myself. It always feels as if there are things that have to be sorted out, when are we supposed to do that?

Maybe their speed is faster than mine? Maybe I am a sloth and just so very sloooooow? That is how I feel. Is it because I am becoming older? Or is this the repercussions from the Pandemic? All these questions wash through my mind, coming in like waves, breaking, pulling back, becoming calm only for the next round of waves of questions to roll in.

Yesterday morning I have a chat with my husband. He recons we must just roll with the punches and take it one day at a time. I am stressing unnecessarily according to him. I look at him, again with a weird expression on my face, and think to myself HOW? My personality does not allow for rolling with the punches and one day at a time. I get frustrated if my day’s plan do not work out as it should have.

When one of the institutions we work with, have an issue on their website, not working, hanging and you struggle for hours to get a simple task done, then I get frustrated. It messes with my plans. Because that unplanned time spent on something out of my control, has to be caught up somewhere by ME. And the only place where I can catch up is to reduce sleep time. Less sleep. Because everything has DEAD LINES. So to let something stand over to the next day does not really help much, because then I am behind with tomorrow’s planning already….

The waves of questions and plans of what, where and how roll through my mind. HOW am I going to do it? WHERE am I going to get the time? WHAT am I going to do if my planning does not work out? SHOULD I still plan? Because if I plan it does not work out, if I don’t plan it does not work out. Do you know how frustrating that is for a Boxwood tree personality? Everything must be on their place ALWAYS.

This morning when I got up, I was humming a song I heard on Spotify once….I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength….Mmmmm….this makes me think. One of my favorite verses. I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13. I CAN do this. God is going to help me! It is not necessary to hyperventilate or to panic & run like Sponge Bob and Patrick.

We do not HAVE to try to do everything ALONE. We must just ask God to help us, hold us in His hand, giving us the necessary strength and energy….Hands of mercy won’t you cover me? I feel the song’s words washing over my mind like a Tsunami, removing the smaller waves of doubt and questions. Suddenly it is wiped out with God’s peace. I can do everything through Him that gives me strength. Not on my own, ever.

Die eerste week terug….
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The Career woman from the Bible – chapter 1

Since I became a mother, my needs and priorities changed drastically. Only a new mom with a full time career and job will know what I am talking about (not that I am saying that those whom have the absolute privilege of raising their kids full time have no idea but you will understand as you read more). Those motherly instincts that kick in the moment when you hear your first born’s cry for the first time.

For so many years I questioned WHY I am a career woman. I thought that woman in the Bible did not have heavy jobs so to speak…..or so I thought….until one evening in 2021 – while reading to our children from the Bible.

We discovered Deborah….I noted immediately that she had a very important job. She was a prophet AND a judge. Wow, that is a BIG responsibility. She had to judge the people, the Israelites. Even in Biblical terms I see this as heavy in my opinion. Being a prophet is also a huge responsibility. And she was both!

I am unable to determine from the rest of the Bible whether she had to study further to become a judge. We will probably never know either. I actually have no clue HOW people do their research about people in the Bible. Where do you start your search? How do you know what is the truth?

So I will be leaving all the technical questions about why and how surrounding Deborah and I am just going to focus on what I see in the Bible about her, and what I feel God is lying on my heart to write about her. The scripture that is on the January 2022 deskpad calendar can be found in Judges 4:4-5 – this is where I read about Deborah the first time.

If you are reading this and noted the flamingo’s on the deskpad calendar in the photo included in this article and STILL don’t know WHY flamingo’s, then I invite you to read the Pink Feathers category on my blog. That will explain it and give you insight. OK, back to the scripture for January 2022.

Now you are probably wondering WHY I chose that scripture and what is the theme for the rest of the year? Let me answer the first question….Deborah had a career, a qualification of some sort. I could identify and relate with her in a way – I stand in a career with a whole bunch of qualifications and degrees (yes it is terrible to think of it like this and to mention it like this, but, the reality is, when you are a CA and an RA, then you have to obtain about two degrees, together with a whole bunch of other things, just for those who do not know how that process works).

I know other careers also have their requirements of studying for years, doing practical training, etc. So we are not alone! Everyone had to do their bit to be able to practice their career. I kid you not – it is HARD work. And that is where the inner conflict starts between your career and being a mother. Both require so much hard work and I often feel I have to choose between being a mother and my career…..having to give up one. Giving up being a mother is out of the question….but do I want to give up all those blood, sweat and tears that I had to go through to obtain my qualification?

That being said, the other question between the questions is, why this scripture for January? Well, we are all still in a bit of a holiday mode after completing the first week of January. Some of us are preparing ourselves mentally to start work on the 10th of January 2022. Others have already started this past week. But we all stand in a career and have to get our acts together to be able to function like before the holiday started. Let’s face it, being out of routine does not work for us. Even our dog Fudge is out of routine!

So the long and short is, I chose to start this year with something career-like, just so that we can all identify with the scripture and just to be able to get ourselves ready for the year ahead. I hope it makes sense what I am trying to say here?

The theme for the year is Pink Feathers and this is the Pink Feathers range that I recon is going to become a part of the Beroepsvrou blog and everything that goes with it. I did not choose Career woman as a theme, but rather scripture that I thought could be linked to showing Pink Feathers for God.

As mentioned before, we are all in different careers. Not everyone reading this are CA’s and RA’s. And sometimes it is pretty tough, especially as a woman, to keep on keeping on, so that the world can see that we are flaming hot for Jesus and that our feathers are really in actual fact vibrant pink for Him.

As I said before, for a long time I thought that Biblical women did not have official careers. To be continued….

Die Bybelse Beroepsvrou – hoofstuk 1
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New Years’ Eve’s day’s training….

Before I even proceed, I am doubting my title. What do you call the day before New year? New Years’ Eve’s day? That just sounds a bit weird and wrong. In Afrikaans we call it Oujaarsdag. Anyway, back to my story. So you guessed it. Like a peanut, I was sitting, doing training the day before new year. Why? you might ask. Well, my career and qualification requires me to do a certain amount of hours for certain things every year. Normally I get everything done throughout the year and I manage to get it done By the hair on my chinney chin-chin so that I do not have to do anything in December about training.

But, the past two years, 2020 and 2021 were DIFFERENT. I did not have enough hours in a day to do everything and every December, it was me staring at my CPD hours. Almost like an old Western movie where the two cowboys have to draw their guns and shoot at each other to survive.

You see, in 2020, the whole world had to homeschool their kids for a certain period of time due to Hard Lockdown. I really do not have to elaborate more about how much washing and dishes we had to do, not even talking about how much we ate and how little work and schoolwork we got done. Everyone was in the same boat and everyone can relate.

OK back to my training. So here I am, sitting on the last day of 2021 with 5 hours of tax training left to do. It does not sound like a lot. But if your whole family is outside in the swimming pool busy having the time of their lives (so it feels) and wanting something to eat every five minutes is seems, because everyone is H-U-N-G-R-Y, then the 5 hours feel like 5 days. Not even to mention the house that cannot seem to keep itself clean!

Systematically I work trough the requirements in my mind. IRBA wants ethics training – I can check that off the list. My Tall Trees training from ProBeta helped to sort out that requirement. I check and double check the list (almost like Santa Clause making his list and checking it twice), the whole time I end up back with the tax hours that I need. I do not have sufficient hours for that. I can almost hear the buzzer going off in my mind, you know, like in the game shows when someone gives the wrong answer and is buzzed out.

For a moment I want to get up and run around like the Sponge Bob & Patrick giff that one finds on Whatsapp, Panic & run and screaming because I am now almost out of time. I wonder if I will hear the buzzer or not…..if I do not have my certificates dated 2021, then it is over. 1 January 2022 does not help me ANYTHING. Then I calm down and pray for help. Then God reminds me of one of ProBeta’s new platforms that they released a year or two ago.

Akhanani (I ALWAYS have to double check this name, because I just cannot remember it and get it right on my own….) is the name of the platform where you can purchase training like you would purchase goods from Take-a-lot. You choose what you want and then you go to the check out, make payment and you are on your way! Your training is there, your assessment that you have to complete to ensure that you did in fact listen (and the golden ticket – the training certificate as proof of your training) are all included in the price. Before checking out and making payment, I remember about two vouchers that I had affording me 50% discount. I sigh a sigh of relief when I see they are still active and working, reducing the costs to an even cheaper price that what I was supposed to pay.

Now I start to work through the training. It is torture but I push through and bear forward. I do the assessment and thankfully I pass it! You must now remember, I am doing this in between marking and labelling school stationery. I am multi tasking like never before. The next two sessions are half an hour sessions and I decide to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen while I listen to Wessel Smit’s voice.

I feel like a champion after obtaining the last certificate, around 5 pm on the last day of 2021. The kids look like they do not have too many emotional scars from me having to do training in between holiday time and marking the stationery. But suddenly I am exhausted and now it feels to me that this was ALL that I had done this past holiday (another lie I know).

A few days after this training, the 3rd of January to be exact, I have a conversation with someone. I explain about this training that I had to do and how hard it was for me, but I managed to get it all done. I close off with “Do you know what? Today, as I sit here, I have to do EVERYTHING all over again. That training that I did a few days ago, helps me NOTHING for 2022!”

It is terrible to think of it like this, starting all over, is it not? The lesson that I have learnt from this whole thing, is to stop Procrastinating about things that are less fun to do (like training – let us admit it, doing training does not get everyone out of bed jumping for joy). Do not leave everything until the last minute. I need to get my act together and start doing things the way I did it before this whole Pandemic started. The Boxwood in me wants to plan and not be caught like this, having to do things on number 99.

The Palm tree in me, on the other hand, is the one that Procrastinates and postpones. The motto is after all, Tomorrow is another day is it not? You see, for 2 years, since the start of the Pandemic, she was placed in a dark box, not allowed to breathe or have a say in anything. But, she managed to work her way into my life and planning somehow….while I am sitting and typing this, I am very grateful and thankful that I managed to meet the deadline and that I did what I had to do by 31 December 2021.

I am also very grateful for my training that teaches me more about myself, how I react in certain situations when life gets too heavy and hard. Also just being able to understand everything and everyone a little bit better. Of course it is easier said than done to do a little bit everyday (like my school teacher tried to teach us – Elke dag se bietjie, elke liewe dag). One nice thing is that everything is available for me to do in my own time (that of course, does not work for the Palm tree in me, by the way).

I just know, with the Tall Trees Continuous Ethics training that I have access to, as well as Akhanani (that is very cheap and easy to use by the way) I will get my training hours sorted in no time in the new year! I must just DO IT! I just know, deep down inside of me, this is the year that things are going to normalise for us, systematically and gradually. December 2022 I am certainly NOT going to sit catching up on training again! The balance between the Boxwood and Palm tree within me will surely be achieved…….

Ou jaar se opleiding…
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The first photo of 2022

“Up the T-U-B-E!!!!” comes the voice over our soundbar in our lounge. We are all watching TV to pass the time and reach midnight. My tribe and I. We are watching Henry Danger with the kids. We have already watched a movie earlier the evening.

Normally we sleep through the countdown and celebrations. But my son Franco started with this stay-awake-until-midnight thing a few years back…..neither my husband nor myself have the energy, but we do it for the kids. You know, the memories that we are busy making.

We do channel hopping searching for a countdown timer. We find one on one of the news channels, just in time. About 2 minutes before midnight. We watch in silence as the numbers count down and reduce. At 10 we all start counting with the timer 10-9-8-7….. and we count down and end with Happy New Year!

The moment that I utter those words, this emotional thing builds up inside me and a tear or two comes through that I cannot swallow down. Another year. It feels as if the reset button has been pushed and everything starts all over again. The head start that I thought I had by sorting out the kids’ school clothes and stationery seems meaningless and silly in that moment.

I pull myself together and decide to stop the negativity. We start every year a bit blue. This year HAS to be different. I look over to my husband and see he could not keep the tears down. He is emotional after wishing the kids a happy new year. My daughter Sioné hangs around my neck, kissing me over and over, as if the last time she did this was in the previous year (in Afrikaans we always joke and say laas jaar laas on the first of January but it is not as catchy in English).

I wish Franco a Happy New year and then my husband Heinrich. Then Sioné picks Fudge up and we all wish the house dog (our third child) a Happy New Year. She looks at us and for a moment there she seems a bit grumpy. We are waking her up from her nap that she was having. Suddenly I remember that I wanted to make a screenshot of the time on my phone and between everything that is happening I manage to get this right – I do this to remember later and to post on social media.

I call out spontaneously “Let us take a first photo for 2022!” Everyone falls down on the couch, Fudge too, whether she wants to or not, she is now a part of this photo. We struggle to get the angle right so that we all do not appear fatter than what we already are after all the junk we have eaten this holiday.

Then I miss the button to take the picture and it takes longer than what a selfie is supposed to take. Eventually we get it right, take a few versions to make sure everyone’s eyes are open. Nobody looks fresh anymore, we are all tired, but we smile nicely for the camera.

Then we all rush to get into bed. We are exhausted. A lack of more phrases about how tired we are cannot describe the exhaustion we are feeling at this time (I have a few in Afrikaans and again they are not as catchy in English when you translate them). We worked on the day before New Year. I felt like a champion because eventually I finished my 5 hours tax training that I needed for 2021. And I did work and we marked and packed the school stationery.

That makes me feel as if I achieved this thing called balance right at the end of 2021. Sort of. I managed to keep my child happy (after we had to talk long and hard with her first about WHY Mommy cannot do everything NOW as she demands), I finished my training, did some work (not everything that I wanted but did the bare necessities), fed everyone, cleaned the house.

Now that we can sleep, I do not feel tired anymore. As I lie in bed typing, I hear the rain falling down again (after a nice shower earlier this evening and late afternoon). Sometimes the rain comes down hard and then it changes to a softer rainfall. It is as if the rain drops are having a race to see which one will reach the ground first. At times the downpour sounds like a tap or hosepipe is opened over our roof.

When I listen to the rain outside, I wonder what 2022 has in store for us. I just know it will be a year of super natural abundance on all levels. It is as if God is blessing the new year with His rain.

And rather than taking a last photo of 2021, as my Facebook memories report I do every year, we take a first photo of 2022. Tired eyes and all. 2022 we are ready! With God on our side, it can only be good.

Later this morning I decide to finish my entry after going to sleep (I lost the battle to sleep and was tired after all), I go to my Bible App on my phone as I do every morning first thing.

The scripture for today? Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not remember the former things, Or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.

It is as if God is just confirming to me, with this scripture, that the first photo of 2022 that we took shortly after midnight, was the right thing to do.

Die eerste foto van 2022
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2021 – The Year we get things done

As the heading of this entry confirms, that is how it was to a certain extent for me and my family. As we say farewell to the last day of 2021 for ever, and welcome 2022, one cannot help but think back on the past year.

Yes I know, I sound like an old lady and an LP that is stuck (all at the same time) when I say “Thís year went by QUICKLY.” But, man-o-man, it did go by QUICKLY did it not?

It feels like yesterday that I worked my shoulder into spasm, preparing the kitchen cabinets for painting (that is still not finished by the way, because the absolute desire to paint and do some home reno has not yet overwhelmed me). But, that was last December……..December 2020….

I cannot say that I will be greeting 2021 “until we meet again”. No. It is So Long, Farewell. Cheers. Koebaai. Overs-ke-dovers. Over and out. I am sure you understand what I mean. 2021 is over FOREVER. What a scary thought. But it is what it is.

2021 the year we get things done as I had proclaimed it. Indeed it was like that and also not. New things that crossed my path, like this blog. The Beroepsvrou business that started out of nothing and unplanned.

Yes, the kitchen is still not finished, all the cupboards in my house are waiting anxiously for me to work through them and create order. So I can go on and on about everything that has not happened during 2021.

Why not? Because everything that did happen, took time! And the other time that I had available, I tried (I emphasize this for a reason as it feels to me that I fail at this often) to rest and spend time with my family.

Back to my other statement that I utter often – the one about HOW quickly time flies. I have been thinking about this for YEARS and I think I have it. When you are young, time goes by relatively slowly. You don’t have kids and have very little or no responsibilities.

But then, you have to wee-wee on a stick that produces two little lines and breaks the news. You hear the sound of an LP that is stopped abruptly and tires screeching as the car that you were in, going nowhere slowly, makes a U-turn at 180 miles per hour.

Then it is as if someone bashes on the watch hard and continuously that makes the time go by EVEN faster…..suddenly it is 13 years since you were pregnant with your eldest child and not only a few months. Suddenly you realise the milestones that your baby makes and reaches (even if it felt like forever to get them to the age of 4 or 5 where they function a bit more independently).

Suddenly things just happen and if you do not have your safety belt on, then this thing called time throws you out of the car in a similar way that a Crash Test Dummy without a safety belt on is thrown out a vehicle upon impact.

In the process one (hopefully) becomes wiser. Older and wiser. In Afrikaans we have a saying Wysheid met die grysheid which means that as you age and your hair turns grey, you gain more knowledge. Literally. My husband was very surprised and amazed at the same time the other day when he observed himself in the mirror. “Look how grey my hair has become!” he probably said more to himself than to me.

On the last day of the year I am trying to catch up on my tax training hours, marking school stationery for 2022 in between (because my daughter wants to do it NOW). It is hard, the motivation is pretty much zero. The holiday is shouting and screaming my name, so loudly that I struggle to focus to get this over and done with.

At least I managed to resolve some things for 2022 at the end of this year – the kids’ school things. Stationery and clothes. It already feels to me as if 2022 is trying to infiltrate 2021, pushing and bumping like a buffalo to get the old year out the way.

As I observe everything and try to process everything, I know that everything, even time, is in God’s hands. He wants the best for us. Plans of prosperity and not of hardship.

Here is to 2022! May the year ahead move at a glacial pace rather than the speed of light, giving us all time to gather ourselves after surviving the Pandemic. Just yesterday I was thinking – everyone that is still on earth can say that they have survived a world-wide Pandemic. Wow.

May 2022 be filled with prosperity and favour for everyone. May it be the year that the Pandemic stops just as suddenly as it started. May God hold us (and time) in His hand. May we just move closer and closer to Him daily and may our relationship with Him grow stronger.

So long and farewell 2021 and Hello 2022! I look forward to welcome you with open arms into my life…..

“2021 – The Year we get things done”
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Reflect – The final chapter

Now that my brain has done its channel hopping between my childhood and the past two years, I decide to sit quietly and gather my thoughts…..I have been reflecting all the way. I truly hope that I am not going to end up in a dead end and also hope that I am not going nowhere slowly (or fast for that matter).

I wait patiently for God to put some sense into my mind while he is busy calming the spout of thoughts that have been racing around in my mind. Why does one feel like this? Why is it as if nostalgia is trying to make a little nest in your mind and heart? Grateful is the next word that is starting to take the lead in my mind, racing to make it to the end of my fingertips so that it can be used and typed. Just like that. Grateful? I am starting a conversation with myself and God again about this.

Jip, you got it girl! Grateful. Alrighty then. Grateful it shall be. I chew a little bit on this. It is not long before the light comes on. I got it! I get it! I feel this way about everything and this time of the year, because deep, deep down inside of me, I actually have this huge sense of being grateful for everything that was and is still to come.

Grateful that we have been spared for another year on earth. Grateful that God provided for us despite the Pandemic. Grateful that we have work, can generate income. Grateful that we are healthy.

Now it feels like all these thoughts are streaming in through my mind. It is as if they are all jumping up and down, putting their hands up, as if to say “Pick me! Pick me!!” How can one pick only a few when there is so much to be grateful for?

Grateful for good memories despite the hardship and tough times the entire world finds itself in. That is why it feels like nostalgia. It is actually nostalgia in a good way….thinking back on good times…..fun times…..

With a grateful heart I close this entry. I ask God to give me a song that will fit in with what I am feeling. I close my eyes for a moment. Then I remember a song from Matthew West. Brand New.

I can hear the song, the music notes and lyrics dance through my mind. I am sure I have already blogged about this. But that is the wonderful thing about God’s word and praise and worship music too.

It is as if it lives and each time you listen to it or read it, then there is this whole new meaning that you can identify deep within. He is making you new, He is breaking your chains, he is making you BRAND NEW! I hear the words rumble around in my mind……

As time goes on and things happen, it is God who is constantly renewing us, IF we let Him, I might add. Everything that happens with us, the good and the bad (as it feels for all of us some times) is busy making us better and stronger for the next set of memories that we are going to make…..our time on earth is short. I realise that more and more every day.

When you are 20, 40 feels so far away. But when you are 40 you KNOW 70 or 80 is so close. Have you done your part for God’s kingdom? Do you still have enough time on earth to do what God has placed you on earth to do? Are you busy doing what He called you to do? Or are you waiting for one day? Goodness me, it is as if there is a whole new bunch of thoughts starting to march through my mind….

I listen to the song again…..drinking in the words. I am watering my thoughts like the rain feeds and wets the earth….in the hope that Godly thoughts will grow and come to be and that one will not be caught up in the demands of this world…..He is making you BRAND NEW!!!!!

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Reflect – Chapter 3

Today my mind wandered back to my childhood. How it felt when it was December…..as Christmas time approached. My mom usually worked, never had leave over a December month. Not that I can remember anyway but maybe I am just thinking of one December? Who knows….

I think it must have been hard for her. To get up in the mornings and go to work while the rest of us lied around at home. Due to a lack of being able to do anything else, I started to watch cricket. I taught myself how the rules worked and what everything meant. There are normally 5 day games on. That gave me lots of information as it was very boring and long (not the excitement of one day games or 20/20 cricket).

To this day, I still remember the King Pie advertisement. The one where the umpire stands with his finger up in the air, the signal showing a player is out. Then the words at the bottom of the screen would read One Hot Pie Please. My husband and I still laugh about this advertisement and sometimes joke about it when we feel like having a pie….

Then my mind wanders to Christmas eve. It was always at my mom’s parents in Benoni. She grew up English and they rather celebrated Christmas eve than Christmas Day. Come to think of it, maybe we did Christmas eve in that manner because we always used to visit my dad’s brother in Pretoria on Christmas Day, swimming and eating the whole day.

So we had best of both worlds so to speak. Both sides of the families were visited over the Festive season. Not the way we do it nowadays (sort of). This year it is her family, next year his family. We are not as strict with that, we spend most of the time with my in-laws in any event rather than my family, as my family (sisters and their families – not my parents and these days my father and his new wife) were always in different places over Christmas….normally camping at the coast….

We grew up with a Christmas tree. Not that many presents under the tree, but a little something. I always volunteered to put up the Christmas tree. When I was younger, I did not understand the concept of balance on the tree. It ALWAYS used to fall over when I was done, this was my BIGGEST frustration….

When we left to have dinner at my grandparents’ house, there were no presents under the tree. When we arrived home later that night, there were presents. Because I was the youngest, my mom used to pretend that Father Christmas existed for a long time. Today I know that NOTHING about how we celebrated Christmas, the tree or any other worldly celebrations are Biblical.

Back to the Christmas tree and presents. I could NEVER understand HOW Father Christmas got into our house. There is no chimney or fireplace for him to come in with. My mom always said that he used to make himself very small and entered the house through the key hole in the front door. That still boggled my mind, but I think I accepted that explanation.

Innovative and creative, the stories of my mom! When I was older, I used to ask her how she managed that? The presents under the tree. She then let me in on her secret. She always, just as we were about to leave, “remembered” about something she forgot. She would run back into the house, put the presents under the tree and take the forgotten item and put it in the car.

I wonder the whole time why my mind keeps on jumping around to different times in my life….

To be continued……

Reflekteer – Hoofstuk 3
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Reflect – Chapter 2

It is as if the call from a certain bird, in Afrikaans we refer to it as the Piet-my-vrou, wants me to Reflect on what was and what happened. This past week I heard him almost the whole day. From early morning. I can hear him sitting in a tree close to our back door.

It is as if he is calling to only me. I hear him. Then my thoughts wander back to 11 April 2021. It feels like yesterday, yet it was 8 months ago already! I calculate on my fingers (yes fingers) how long ago it was. I could have calculated it by deducting 4 from 12 too. But I decided to do this calculation on a physical manner.

Yes I know. CA’s are NOT supposed to do calculations on their fingers. Yet, I still did it, because it works for me. Why I don’t know. Back to the Piet-my-vrou and 11 April 2021. That day we celebrated my birthday.

40 years old. I cannot say one or two hands full, because we only have 10 fingers….but it marked the day that I turned the BIG 40. The Piet-my-vrou also called from early in the morning on that day. It was as if he tried to leave a sound memory in my brain. Every time I hear that sound, I think back to that day.

My mom did not see me turn 40. It was very sad for me, but I know it is also ok. I will survive. Many people’s parents do not see them turn 5 or 10 or even 18 years old.

The previous year, when I turned 39, we were in Hard lockdown. That day I realised and knew why God sent me to earth in 1981 and not 1980 which I had wished for while still at school. Stupid wish that I had, I know…

When I look back on 2020 and 2021, it feels very intertwined and inseparable to me, as I had mentioned previously. It is hard to distinguish between this year and last year. Things that happened in 2020 feels like yesterday and things that happened in 2021 feels like ages ago. And vice versa. It is strange. Weird.

I talk a lot to God about this and WHY it feels like this for us as humans? One thing that I do know is that people are not that eager to hide behind their masks and walls since the start of the Pandemic.

For the first time people SHARE their emotions, how they feel, how they experience things. Previously we all just gave the standard Well thanks and you? answer if someone asked us how we are doing. But since March 2020 it was DIFFERENT.

To be continued…..

Reflekteer – Hoofstuk 2
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Reflect – Chapter 1

This time of the year it always seems to me that there is some or another form of nostalgia (I had to google what the English of heimwee was and I am not entirely convinced that this is the right word…but perhaps it is?) that tries to make itself at home in my heart. This makes that I actually do not like this time of the year. I would not say despise, as that is such a strong word. Dislike is a better word to use….This is the time we are all supposed to celebrate one of the biggest events that occurred for mankind – the birth of Christ. I know there have been many debates on when He was actually born but let’s leave that out of this conversation…

I often wondered WHY it is like this for me this time of the year. Why do I feel like this? Why is this time of the year hard for some people? As the questions spin around in my mind, making something similar to a funnel, it is as if I can feel the Holy Spirit placing His hand in the midst of the turmoil to calm all the thoughts I am having.

I take some quiet time and try to HEAR what it is that I feel God is trying to tell me. The word that stands up above everything else is REFLECT. Reflect? I ask. The answer comes back to me – Yes, reflect.

Reflect. I chew on this word like my son does with his bubblegum the whole day long. Reflect. I decide to look up a more formal meaning in the English Oxford Dictionary. Not because I do not know what it means. No, just to be a bit different in my blog entry and also to be sure that I do understand the context in which God is giving this word to me.

I take the dark blue dictionary off the bookshelf and I blow off the dust that has settled on it from not using it as often as it probably was intended to be used. This dictionary has a few more meanings and explanations than the Afrikaans dictionary. But I find the one that I feel fits what God is trying to say. Here too it is a verb and the meaning I consider the closest to what I am trying to say is meditate. To meditate on something. Another one I found is to remind oneself. So basically I am meditating on or remining myself of what has happened in the past.

The only difference is, I am not only looking back, reflecting on 2021, but rather 2020 and 2021 together. You see, last year and the current year feels like they are intertwined and twisted into one another. I cannot tell the difference between the years. I am sure this is how everyone feels, not only me.

To be continued……

Reflekteer – Hoofstuk 1
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The Minefield Game

When I started my first job, no wait, when I was still at school and we purchased a second hand computer from someone, around 1996 or 1997, I discovered this game on a computer. It is a game with a whole bunch of blocks. When you right click with your mouse, then you place flags on the blocks.

Two types of flags – red flags and black flags if I remember correctly. If you click on some of the blocks, they open up a bigger area with nothing underneath them. Others reveal the numbers one and two. Nothing that I ever did on this game made sense to me. I tried to read the rules, understand the logic of the game. At some stage I figured out that the numbers one and two is supposed to give you an indication of the amount of bombs close to the one you just selected.

The red flags mean you mark where you THINK the bombs are and the black flags are area’s that you recon is bomb-free. All this time, I just played the game, not fully understanding the rules and not bothering to actually trying to understand it so that I can actually beat the game. Every time I played it, it was just a matter of time before I chose a block with a bomb underneath it.

This past week or two it felt to me as if I was playing a similar game in real life. Ok, since the start of December 2021 it felt like this to me and it feels like we are trapped in some reality game. The bombs that I was trying to miss? The feared virus of the Pandemic that we find ourselves in. You see, to me it feels like it does not matter how closely you follow the rules and play the so-called game, it is only a matter of time before you will step on a bomb.

You read the rules, think you understand it, follow it, mark what you recon are bombs with the flags and the safe areas are also marked by you. But, you take your eye off the game for just a tiny moment only to discover that you have stepped on one. The bomb goes off. Your husband tests positive. The thing is in your house. The thing that no one can see is HERE.

You freak out because you don’t know WHAT to expect. He is NEVER ill. Now he sleeps for hours during the day. All the responsibilities of parenting comes down on the one that is not ill. Goodness me, let me tell you, I felt like a single mom at some stage. It was no fun at all.

It was even worse for me to see him like that. I find myself crying secretly in the bathroom where no one can see me. I don’t want to upset him or the kids. I must be strong. I must ensure that he eats, drinks his medicine and sleeps. The devil tried to catch me with lies in my mind.

He even tried to convince me that my husband is not going to make it. He actually had it very light and his symptoms were not as terrible as one hears other talk about their experience. But, I still fall for the lies – hook, line and sinker. That makes me freak out even more.

I sleep in the children’s room with them. We have to isolate from him. My arms start to feel sore from lack of sleep. My back feels like it is going to go into spasm any moment because I am sleeping on a mattress that is not mine. You see, my mattress feels to me, as if it folds itself around me when I lie down. I miss my bed. About three nights of bad or little sleep leaves me in tears. I cry for nothing and cannot get anything done relating to work. I decide by myself, this is it, now I am sleeping in my own bed again.

That was the Monday evening. The next day I feel like a brand new person. My arms are no longer sore because I actually slept well. It is very strange, but they always ache when I go through stressful times and on top of it all when I don’t sleep well too. Thank God for my mattress and a good night’s rest!

At some stage I hear a song on Spotify. Jeremy Camp’s Out of my hands. I heard it before and have marked it as a favorite song. It comes up every so often on my playlists. But this time it is as if God is TALKING to ME. I listen carefully to the words.

I realise that this whole Pandemic, the virus, the bombs that we are all trying to miss, is something that we do not have control over. It is not in our hands. Does not matter HOW hard you try, you cannot avoid the unavoidable….

I listen carefully to the words again. Take this out of my hands I hear Jeremy Camp sing. Out of my hands and into Yours…..I stand quietly for a moment and LISTEN to what God is trying to tell me about this….He is in control ALWAYS. Nothing is too big for Him. We just have to let Him take it out of our hands and into His so that He can handle it on our behalf.

https://www.beroepsvrou.co.za/2021/12/18/die-bom-speletjie/
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Good Bye….

Saturday 4 December 2021. What a lovely morning. Slightly overcast and cool, something that is welcome after the intense heat that we had experienced the few days before. As per usual, the parents park their vehicles at Eden Leersentrum to attend the annual price giving and concert.

But this time it is different, different for our family. It is our children’s last price giving and concert at Eden. Why? you may ask. My answer? The children grow up. Franco, my eldest, is finished with primary school.

You see, we all knew that this day would come, since 2016 when we first enrolled our children, we knew that this day would come. Yet we decided to avoid this subject and not have a stare-down competition with it. Just not giving it any attention.

It is even more strange and different than usual, because I attended this alone. My husband could not attend as he tested positive for the virus and is self-isolating in the house, separate from us, so that we can attend the function. We also tested and the results were negative for the rest of us. We could attend the morning with a peaceful heart (for what it is worth).

My heart is broken on his behalf, because he could not see the last concert, he could not hear them say their speeches that they worked so hard on, hear the songs and see the dances they performed. He had to view everything via a video that I took with my cellphone, which was sent via Whatsapp to him. I keep my distance, keep the mask on, avoid physical contact with anyone. Another thing that is strange for me.

A friend walks closer and waves at me. I can see she wants to give me a hug. I stop her immediately. My heart breaks into even smaller pieces, you see, my love language is not getting the food it needs, especially on a day like this. One of the hardest days that I had secretly hoped would never arrive.

The concert, speeches and rhymes that the kids had prepared go according to their plans, everything was perfect, no one forgot their words. Everyone talks loud and clear while it continues to rain softly every now and then. Certificates are handed to the children, they stand proud with their teachers for photographs, holding their certificates that they had worked so hard for.

The morning goes by quickly, quicker than what one would expect. This is it. The time to say goodbye has arrived. With tears in my eyes, I walk to the first teacher, thank her for all that she had done. I cannot help it, the tears and emotions overwhelm me and take over everything.

I walk towards the other teachers, all emotional and crying I greet them and thank them for all that they had done. It is such a bitter-sweet moment. The kids grow up, we have to move on. This phase is over for ever. Yet it is so hard to say goodbye.

Michélle Nortjé – this is just a small something that I could give you from the bottom of my heart. Something to thank you for all that you had done over time and meant for our kids. May God bless Eden Leersentrum even more and may it grow from strength to strength.

This is certainly not a farewell, but just a goodbye. Until we meet again. The end of a season always arrives and we have to meet the new season with open arms. Bitter-sweet, this is how I would describe the transition to the new season….

Totsiens maar nie Vaarwel
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Bending over backwards

“Keep your back straight when you do the kettlebell swing.” Words spoken by Tonia, our instructor at Cross Fit. “You need to get the technique right, else you will hurt your back. Do not bend over backwards.”

I hear what she is saying and even while exercising, it is like the Holy Spirit dumps into my spirit that I need to blog about this. The timing for me sucks as I am sweating, struggling to breathe and in the middle of trying to learn a technique with no hands (or pens) to make notes. BUT I have learnt to make mental notes.

A few days pass and again this past Monday (yesterday to be exact) she says the same thing. Now I start laughing inside and silently (because NO one around me will understand my own personal joke with God and no one will think that the exercises we are doing at that moment is worth a laugh) and I say to Him, OK I will blog about this. So here I am blogging about this.

What God showed me about this, is, when your physical body exercises and you do exercises incorrect, your muscles go into spasm and then usually you cannot walk or perform your usual tasks due to this. You do not need to repeat a movement done incorrectly too many times for this to happen. Nope, just as little as one wrong move can cause you severe pain….and because your body is so wonderfully made to warn you when there is something wrong, we normally do not continue the exercise or just take it calmly for a few days until the spasms are sorted out.

The next question or thing that I felt in my spirit is, that, is this not the same with our emotional person and our spiritual person? More the emotional side (the one where all our emotions are and whether we are happy, or tired and exhausted or elating with joy) I would say than the spiritual side.

You see, God created us Spirit, body and soul (mind). The soul dimension is the one that gets exhausted, not wanting to do something, discouraged, you name any negative thing, in my opinion, it happens there (and of course all the positive things also happen here – I am sure you catch my drift).

When your emotional person bends over backwards (you can admit it – we are all people pleasers in one way or another) you sometimes hurt your “muscles” that you have there. The difference between this person and your physical person is, that, one often struggles to identify when the emotional person is hurt and in pain, needs to rest and NOT repeat the movement that brought the pain on in the first place.

BUT, what do we do? We just go on and on and on. When it is holidays or weekends, one often wonders why you cannot sleep properly or why you feel guilty when you are resting or doing something other than work. I for one am one of those people!

For me personally, 2020, the Pandemic and the hard lockdown that we had, was a back breaker. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. That is how I (and I am sure the entire world), experienced it. I am not even going to say “most people” as I often read in articles and hear on videos that people made. No, I am making a statement here that it affected EVERYONE.

Through it all, God was good to me. He is still, to this day, slowly healing my emotional person. From all the bending over backwards that happened over all the years, not only in 2020. I mean, in our line of work, we go the extra mile and do a lot of things out of faith only for it to be thrown back into your face with criticism and in some instances non-payment of our accounts. Not always, but the few times that it does happen (which can be counted on one hand by the way) hurts so badly that you feel like hiding in a cave until the snow storm has passed.

I have had a conversation with God so many times, asking Him WHY do the few people, the ones that are in the minority, hurt us so badly and affect us so badly on an emotional level? I did not get my answer right away, but I did while doing the famous kettlebell swings last week and yesterday.

You see, it is actually very simple. It only takes one or 2 or even 10 incorrect movements to almost paralyze you (not really paralyze you but it affects you so that you cannot function as you usually did) and it is the same on an emotional level. Even if the people who are hurtful to us are the minority, it still hurts and paralyzes us to not be able to go on.

What I have learnt from this whole experience is, if I feel this way about something, then I should listen to my emotional muscles and stop it immediately. It is going to affect me so badly that I will not be able to do anything constructive for the majority of people who are not hurtful….

It is easier said than done, that I will admit. But day-by-day God is busy healing me, teaching me what to stop doing, what to let go of and what to focus my attention on. If He can do it for me, He can surely do it for ANYONE. We only need to learn to TRUST God and the instincts and messages that He instills within our Spirit. After all, the Spiritual person is the one guiding us and if we are not in sync with God then the results may not be as He intended it to be.

Om agteroor te buig
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The Pink Feathers range – the online shop

What felt like forever (which was in reality only one week since I released my first advertisement on Whatsapp) I can confirm that the online shop is READY! I did it with my own two hands and let me tell you, it is not necessarily difficult but rather time consuming.

Between everything else this past week, including and not limited to the tax return deadline that I had to tend to, I made time and worked on this project and I am very proud to say that EVERYTHING – digital and physical items, are now available on this page.

After I released my advertisement last week Sunday via Whatsapp, I received such a positive response from people wanting to order items and wanting to place their orders via Whatsapp. The positive feedback was overwhelming and that forced me to immediately type a message with the instructions that I will only take orders via e-mail and that items will only be supplied based on orders.

Well, that idea was quickly blown out the front door with a tornado named Reality. You see, the Reality is that I still have to design an order form and what must that look like??? How do I ensure that I do not order or deliver the incorrect items? How do I get it to people? These are just a few of the questions that were twisting around in my mind.

Just as I was approaching the big barren desert of hopelessness (something that seemed to happen a lot during this process) I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit. You cannot get this far to quit NOW. There are REALLY people that WILL benefit from this. You must push through.

I share the hopelessness to someone very close to me (she is more like a little sister or friend than an employee), and she tells me that she read something in the past week that God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. I sit for a moment, I read it and understand it, yet I decide to still reply with emojis crying streams of tears because that is just how I felt.

I decide to move forward and just to STOP trying to THINK about this and HOW I am going to do it all. God will surely not let this thing happen out of nothing if I cannot handle it. My answer to everyone who asks about why or how this started is very simple – it just happened. I did not think anything through, I just did it! If I thought about it I would not have done it.

I leave you on this cold wet afternoon from the North West province (it is raining here if you were wondering). Select the menu at the top, browse through my shop and order something if you feel in in your heart to do so. If you are in the Hartbeespoort area choose the collection option when checking out and I will contact you to meet up with you somewhere to collect the items when I am in the area. Of course those of you in the Magaliesburg, Hekpoort, Skeerpoort and other surrounding areas can also choose collection and then we can arrange a date and time for you to collect.

I will be placing my first order with the printers on Monday 29 November 2021. If everything goes well and according to plan and they have no load shedding (something that I am praying about because I know that God will not disappoint me) then I should have it within the next 5 to 7 business days, thus around 7 or 8 December 2021.

The week thereafter, 6 December 2021, I will be placing my second order so that it will be ready around mid-December. This will be my last order for 2021 after which it will be delivered, so do not miss out on making your workspace for 2022 something to motivate and inspire you or to get the last items gifts wise for Christmas!

All the glory be to God and the Holy Spirit who guided me during this entire process. Without Him I am not able to do ANYTHING, because I am surely not as tech-savvy as those who do this for a living. Please excuse the Afrikaans and English pages that are mixed on my website (this is at the menu options), I am working on it to translate it so that there are both English and Afrikaans pages for all.

Die Pienk Vere reeks – die aanlyn winkel
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The Pink Feathers- the confirmation

Can I tell you how Mr. Doubt tried to destroy the Pink Feathers ever since I collected the proofs from the printers last week? He comes and then he sows seeds of doubt between that which I have felt God had laid on my heart, and the weeds of doubt almost, very close to ALMOST started to grow, trying to oppress (this word I had to Google because I could not think of the English word for Verdruk) the Pink Feathers.

This morning, we attended church at Doxa Deo Hartbeespoort campus. As always, Kobus Windt is marching up and down the stage (I am SURE it is a stage and not another fancy word to describe what is used as a stage), giving his sermon. He is so passionate and uses examples that we all can relate to, to UNDERSTAND what God is trying to say.

He always uses the saying that sleeping in a garage does not make you a car. The same is applicable to our Christianity. You cannot ONLY attend church on a Sunday and call yourself a Christian. You have to LIVE like one too. Today’s message was no different and certainly portrayed God’s message.

The name of the Series that is being discussed is Reageer (in Afrikaans) or React if you wish to translate it in English. We must react on God’s voice. As I am listening and making notes in my notebook, I can hear the Holy Spirit talk with me and I can sense that he is throwing weed killer over all the little plants of doubt that is trying to grow. Again, He presses on my heart to say “This is what I want YOU to do.”

Just this morning, while getting ready for church, doubt comes yet again and tries to sow negativity all over my mind. The thoughts? How can God use YOU, really? You fail at pretty much everything in your life. Your YouTube video that you tried to make, you called an Epic Fail yourself and laughed about it. What makes you so special and different than other people? You don’t even know the books of the Bible in order and off the top of your head. Not even to talk about the Bible itself.

Doubts similar to the previous ones repeat and continue in my mind. But God is faithful. In the sermon I receive my confirmation that this ís what God wants me to do. I must do thís, I have to reach a certain demographic area, Career woman, as this is where God wants to use me. If I am not going to do it, who will?

For the first time since I started the blog, I heard God speak to me through an Afrikaans song (they are normally English songs). While Kobus closes off the sermon, the worship team walks back onto the stage. Carindé sings in her gorgeous voice Stuur My, so passionate, you can see she is overflowing with God. He invites us to stand up while they are singing the song, if you feel you want to make an impact on a certain demographic environment.

I want to jump up immediately, but as per usual, I am self-conscious. Why I cannot tell you, because NO ONE in the church is observing who stand up and who remain seated. I ask my husband if I heard correctly – can we stand up? He does not answer me immediately, he is sitting with his eyes closed, worshipping God. After a while I hear him say – you may stand up.

I stand up and the moment I did that, I felt the Holy Spirit in a tangible form in my spirit. My eyes shoot full of tears. Not tears of heart ache, just tears that I have NO control over. From experience I KNOW that this is the Holy Spirit. I am on the right track, I am doing what God is expecting from me.

With that being said I am closing off this entry with what I perceive to be better YouTube videos. Shorter videos that explains each individual item better. I am busy working on price lists and I am just going to do it. I am not going to use my technical Accounting skills to try and work out and calculate complex formulae. I am just going to trust God. He will let it happen the way it should. After all, it is all about Him and not about me, so why doubt?

Die Pienk Vere – die bevestiging
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The Pink Feathers Range – the YouTube advertisement

I had this perfect plan in my mind, one with high expectations to make this perfect YouTube advertisement of the Pink Feathers Range that is changing from something that was just a dream and a thought to something tangible and realistic.

Can I tell you? That balloon stuffed full of expectations was popped in the blink of an eye with the pin called REALITY. You see, I have a day job too that I need to work on and tend to, so I do not have time to sit and play around on software programs to edit things until I have the perfect end result, exactly like the one I have in my mind.

The English version of the video I had to retake probably around 10 times (it feels like 500 times and probably even was not 10 times but certainly more than 3 times). Each time, just as I am getting the hang of it and feeling more comfortable, someone walks into the room where I am recording, or someone yells from another room something (we all do that so no judgement here), or the phone rings or the dogs bark too hard or the parrot is too noisy or the cars ZOOM too loudly past our house.

Yesterday morning, when the house was quiet and everyone was somewhere, I decided this is IT. I have been trying to do this video since collecting the proofs on Saturday. Yesterday was the proverbial D-Day. I record it (for the umpteenth time in English) and thankfully the Afrikaans one was just once and I decide this is it. I am not redoing it again. It will be released to the world as it is, because this is how it will be. It is what it is.

I invite you, if you are on Facebook (I am still struggling with Instagram and you may not judge me for that too), to like my page and feel free to share this entry with others or even only the YouTube video. I am still busy setting up the shop on Facebook and truly hope that it is approved now. If not approved then I will make another plan to take orders.

With that being said, I am closing off this entry. I truly hope I am not judged too harshly for my attempt at a YouTube video. This is my first time and I am not one to look at the camera and talk. So you will not see my face, but you will be able to hear my voice…..

Die Pienk Vere Reeks – die YouTube advertensie
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The Pink Feathers – digital platform launch

This is probably going to be one of the shortest entries ever! After what felt like for ever, I managed to get one of the first digital platforms linked and live ready for the launch…

The name of the platform is Buy me a Coffee….on this platform I will release digital designs.

So without typing too much, click the link below and view the welcome page.

The digital designs are in both Afrikaans and English….on that platform the main language of communication will be English, however, the Afrikaans will not fade and disappear! It is just easier to keep it to English on that platform.

With that being said – go and enjoy that which has been made available!

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Beroepsvrou/welcome-page-768866
Die Pienk vere – digitale platform bekendstelling
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The Pink Feathers – The Grand Finalé

It is time for the Grand Finalé! Drum roll please…..The moment everyone has silently been waiting for, with the exception of one person, Lynn Grobler, who was prepared to share her curiosity on Facebook…..The great reveal! The reason for the delay in publishing this post will be better understood while you read this entry….

With that being said, I can stop the cryptic messages, I feel that now I may TALK with EVERYONE about the divine heavenly download that God laid on my heart! The Pink feathers was actually a clue with regards to the new season of Beroepsvrou and that which will start to form part of the logo and so forth.

Last weekend, Francis Hartzer (Woordkuns) guessed right about what she perceived the pink feathers represented. I tried to bluf, not sure if I got it right. It is a Flamingo. You see, these days, for some odd reason, I have this fondness and liking to Flamingos. The pink and the prettyness of it all just grabs my attention.

I did one of Woordkuns’ Bible journaling kits that had a Flamingo in it. But this was long before I started noticing the Flamingos. At that stage, I had this preset idea of not sticking ANYTHING in my new Illustrating bible. NO, I shall only paint and draw (I almost sound Shakespearian here…)

Ha ha, biggest joke EVER! Because I then attended the Adorned camp and then it was over. I got over my preset idea. Now you see, the kit from Francis, had a pink flamingo sticker that you can stick in your bible.

The scripture of the kit? Isaiah 60:1-2. The more I read the scripture, the better I understand the association that she had made with the Flamingo and why I decided to use that scripture as part of this project, to further connect the dots with a Flamingo so to speak. That is just one POWERFUL awesome scripture.

The main message in my very secretive project is from Colossians 3:23-24. ALWAYS do your work as if for God and not for man. You see, even if you report to a human being on earth, you still serve God. This is what I have taken out of this scripture – my dumbed down version if you want to call it that.

Is the blog not called Beroepsvrou? We all work for someone. Some for themselves and ultimately for the clients who support their businesses, others for bosses, others are what we call in Afrikaans tuisteskeppers or Home Executives (that just sounds better than stay-at-home-mom). But at the end of the day, we all have to report to someone on this earth. However, God remains above all so we are actually serving Him.

The purpose of this entry is to unravel that cryptic messages and to reveal the big secret. Soooooo……with that being said. God laid it on my heart to create items that will be printed and advertised with scripture on it – aimed at Business Women. Irrespective of what you do for a living and whether you feel you are only a secretary or only the head of a business. By the way, no one is just only somebody. You ARE someone.

Every month of 2022 will have a certain scripture and then God laid it on my heart to blog a bit more in depth on that scripture for that month. God wants to reach ALL business women, even if you do not sit behind a computer and desk the whole day long, there will be something that you can use.

I tried to think of a rhyme for 2022 but could not come up with one in Afrikaans, only English. You see, 2020 was the year of plenty – which ended up being plenty of washing, plenty of school work, plenty of everything we did not have planned.

2021 was no different, but I proclaimed it as 2021 the year we get things done. And it was like that! Still is! Things we wanted to do in and around our house, but never got round to it, happened, some even early in January. I stand in amazement when I look back at the year that passed, at everything that was achieved, and we still have a little less than 2 months left to continue achieving goals, climbing mountains.

So what will the rhyme be for 2022? I thought about it long and hard. The only thing I could come up with, was from a childhood nursery rhyme. Apparently I am the only one that knows this – my husband looked at me strangely when I said it, and someone else if not mistaken, but I cannot remember who.

2022 Buckle my shoe (from the rhyme One, two buckle my shoe, thre four, knock on the door….). I sit and think about this for a while, why buckle my shoe? Then the penny drops in my spirit. We must fasten our shoes to be ready to stand up against the enemy’s attacks and spread the word of peace. It can be found in Ephesians 6:15, if you were wondering where this is written in the bible…

Back to the items that are being made. The aim is to have an A3 sized desk pad calendar printed (this will be the one with the scriptures on). Then there will be a notebook, a mousepad and a small calendar that looks like a tent (which is called a tent calendar) and of course a few digital goodies to brighten up your computer and cellphone. At the Adorned camp, God also laid it on my heart to make aprons and to have them embroidered. I am pleased and excited to say that the first (small) order has arrived!

I will blog in more depth about the background and why I chose WHAT, else this blog will become too long to read. But here is a fun fact about Flamingos. One that I read in my son’s one facts book (he has been intrigued by facts since he was small and still is).

Do you know why the feathers of a Flamingo are pink? There is Beta carotene (I hope Google translate is correct here – the fact book is in Afrikaans) in their food. Should they be moved to another place with different nutrients in their food, their feathers will become grey. Flamingos in a Zoo get carrot juice to maintain the pink feathers. Source: Helen Lewis’ “Vinnige Feite”.

That brings me to the next thing that God dropped in my spirit (just like that). What are you filling your spirit up with? Do you present yourself grey to the world? How PINK are your feathers for God? Do you eat enough spiritual food to maintain the pink color of your feathers or do you eat very little or almost nothing that results in your feathers being dull and grey?

You must remember, you cannot fill your spirit sporadically with something spiritual. It is a constant feed, almost like a drip, directly to your veins, that will ensure that your feathers stay pink. I ask again – how pink are your feathers for God? The words from I am SOLD OUT are dancing around in my mind again. I certainly have PINK feathers for God and I am totally SOLD OUT to follow Jesus. Always, irrespective of the circumstances.

The platforms on which the said items can be acquired from will be made known soon (I am still working on some of them and hence the delay in the publishing of this final chapter) and I certainly do not want this to sound like a Verimark Ad….But wait, there’s MORE! With that being said I close off this Grand Finalé and know that everyone will be as excited as I am about the news that has just been made public knowledge!

Die Pienk Vere – Slot hoofstuk
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The Pink Feathers – Penultimate chapter

In a world full of followers, I’ll be a leader! In a world full of doubters I’ll be a believer! I am stepping out without a hesitation ’cause my soul is like a stadium! Nananananana na naananana (words that I cannot remember but sing along to on the beat of the music)…..I’m SOLD OUT!!!

I have been walking and singing the song Sold Out by Hawk Nelson for days now, no wait, weeks. I search for the song on Spotify every time I sit behind my laptop to do my day job. I dance to the beat of the music (on my chair which is a funny sight) while slaving away.

I decide to Google the lyrics. I read it. It feels like this song has been written JUST for ME, for this very secretive project that I am sharing bit-by-bit with the rest of the world. It is just WOW. I cannot help but feel like this! I am totally sold out to Jesus. I always was, but now even MORE than before.

Every time when Doubt tries to whisper something in my ear, I read the scripture, the promise, that God gave me for this project. “Do not remember the former things, Or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18‭-‬19 AMP

With such a powerful piece of scripture, how can one even THINK of Doubt, let alone listen to him? Then I think of the other confirmation that I received. For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 AMP

Wow! With that being said I push forward with the project. I am on a mission as they would say….I am SOLD OUT…..nannnannanna nana SOLD OUT! I continue to sing this while I work on the project. God will make a path in the wilderness!

To be continued with the Grand Finalé…..

Die Pienk Vere – Voorlaaste hoofstuk