Author: Elsie Potgieter

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Om agteroor te buig

“Hou jou rug reguit wanneer jy die kettlebell swing doen.” Instruksies wat deur Tonia, ons afrigter by Cross Fit gegee word. “Jy moet jou tegniek reg kry anders gaan jy jou rug seermaak. Moet nie jou rug agteroor buig nie.”

Ek hoor wat sy sê en selfs terwyl ek oefen, is dit asof die Heilige Gees in my gees net laat val dat ek hieroor moet blog. Die tydsberekening is nie wat wonders nie want ek sweet, sukkel om asem te haal en is in die middel van ‘n tegniek wat ek probeer leer met geen hande beskikbaar (of penne) om nota’s te maak nie. MAAR ek het geleer om mental notes te maak.

‘n Paar dae gaan verby en weer die afgelope Maandag (gister om presies te wees) sê sy dieselfde ding. Nou begin ek lag (stil-weg by myself natuurlik want NIEMAND om my gaan die persoonlike grappie wat ek met die Here deel verstaan nie en die oefening wat ons besig is om te doen is vir seker nie ‘n lag wêrd nie) en ek sê vir Hom, OK dis reg so Here, ek sal hieroor blog. So hier is ek nou besig om hieroor te blog.

Wat die Here vir my gewys het oor dit, is dat, wanneer jou fisiese liggaam oefeninge doen en jy doen dit verkeerd, gaan jou spiere in spasma in en gewoonlik dan kan jy nie behoorlik loop nie en ook nie jou take verrig soos jy veronderstel is om dit te doen nie. Jy hoef ook egter glad nie die verkeerde beweging of oefening oor en oor te herhaal vir so iets om te gebeur nie. Nee, slegs so min as een keer se verkeerde beweging kan jou verskriklike pyn laat ervaar….en omdat ons liggame so wonderlik geskape is om jou te waarsku wanneer jy iets verkeerd doen, stop ons gewoonlik waarmee ons besig is en vat dinge rustiger vir ‘n paar dae tot die spasma uitgesorteer en weg is.

Die volgende vraag of ding wat ek in my gees ervaar, is, is dit nie dieselfde met ons emosionele mens en gees mens nie? Seker eerder die emosionele mens (die een waar al ons emosies en gevoelens plaas vind – daar waar ons die moegheid, angs, geluk of ekstase ervaar) sou ek sê.

Jy sien, God het ons liggaam, siel EN gees geskape. Die sielsdimensie is die een wat uitgeput raak, sonder lewenslus dag in en dag uit deur swoeg en sweet, mismoedig raak, enige negatiewe ding, in my opinie gebeur hier (natuurlik die positiewe gevoelens en emosies gebeur ook hier – ek is seker jy verstaan wat ek bedoel).

Wanneer jou emosionele mens agteroor buig (jy kan maar erken, ons almal is op een of ander manier people pleasers) maak jy soms jou “spiere” seer wat jy daar gebruik. Die verskil tussen hierdie persoon en ons fisiese liggaam, is dat ons soms sukkel om te onderskei en identifiseer wanneer die emosionele persoon seergekry het en in pyn is. Ons weet nie wanneer ons daardie persoon moet laat rus en NIE die oefening herhaal wat die pyn aangewakker het in die eerste plek nie.

MAAR, wat doen ons? Ons gaan bloot net aan en aan en aan. Wanneer dit vakansies is of oor naweke, wonder mens soms hoekom jy nie behoorlik kan slaap nie of hoekom jy skuldig voel omdat jy rus of iets doen anders as werk. Ek weet ek is een van hulle!

Vir my persoonlik, was 2020, die Pandemie en die hard lockdown of grendeltyd (dit klink mooier in Afrikaans maar was glad nie ‘n mooi tyd nie), ‘n rugbreker tyd. Dit was die spreekwoordelike strooihalm wat die kameel se rug gebreek het. Dit is hoe ek (en ek is seker die hele wêreld) dit ervaar het. Ek gaan nie eens sê “meeste van ons” nie, soos wat ek al te gereeld lees in artikels of hoor op video’s wat mense maak. Nee, ek maak ‘n standpunt hier dat dit ALMAL geaffekteer het.

Deur dit alles was God goed vir my. Hy is steeds, tot op hede, besig om my stadig maar seker te genees op ‘n emosionele vlak. Van al die agteroor buig oor al die jare, nie net gedurende 2020 nie. Ek meen, in ons lyn van werk gaan ons die ekstra myl (dis hoe ons dit sien en ervaar) en doen baie goed uit geloof uit, net vir dit om terug gegooi te word in ons gesigte propvol kritiek en in sommige gevalle sonder om vergoed te word vir ons tyd. Dit gebeur nie altyd nie en is vir seker in die minderheid (dis so min dit kan seker op een hand getel word reken ek). Maar die kere wat dit wel gebeur, maak dit so seer dat jy voel of jy in ‘n grot moet gaan wegkruip en wag vir die sneeustorm om verby te woed.

Ek het al oor en oor hierdie gesprek met die Here gehad – HOEKOM maak die minderheid so seer? HOEKOM affekteer dit ons so erg op ‘n emosionele vlak? Ek het nie dadelik my antwoord gekry nie, maar terwyl ek die beroemde kettle bell swings gedoen het laas week en gister, het ek wel my antwoord gekry.

Jy sien, dis eintlik baie eenvoudig. Dit vat net een, of 2 of 10 verkeerde bewegings om jou amper lam te lê (nie regtig lam nie maar dit affekteer jou in so ‘n mate dat jy nie soos normaal kan funksioneer nie) en dit is dieselfde beginsel wat van toepassing is op ‘n emosionele vlak. Selfs al is die mense wat mens seermaak in die minderheid, maak dit steeds seer, soveel so dat ons voel of ons nie kan aangaan nie.

Wat ek wel geleer het van hierdie hele ervaring is, dat as ek so voel oor iets, dan moet ek begin luister vir my emosionele spiere en dadelik ophou waarmee ek besig is. Dit gaan my so negatief affekteer dat ek nie konstruktief iets sal KAN doen vir die meerderheid mense wat nie mens seermaak nie.…

Dit is wel makliker gesê as gedaan, dit sal ek vir seker erken. Maar, dag-vir-dag is die Here besig om my te genees, my te leer om op te hou doen wat ek nie moet doen nie, wat om te los en waarop om wel te fokus. As Hy dit vir my kan doen, kan Hy dit vir seker vir ENIGE IEMAND doen. Ons moet net LEER om Hom te VERTROU en te luister na die instinkte en boodskappe wat Hy aanwakker in ons Gees. Op die ou einde van die dag is dit tog maar ons Geestelike mens wat ons lei en as ons nie in sync is met die Here nie, dan gaan die resultate nie wees soos Hy dit bedoel het nie.

Bending over backwards
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Bending over backwards

“Keep your back straight when you do the kettlebell swing.” Words spoken by Tonia, our instructor at Cross Fit. “You need to get the technique right, else you will hurt your back. Do not bend over backwards.”

I hear what she is saying and even while exercising, it is like the Holy Spirit dumps into my spirit that I need to blog about this. The timing for me sucks as I am sweating, struggling to breathe and in the middle of trying to learn a technique with no hands (or pens) to make notes. BUT I have learnt to make mental notes.

A few days pass and again this past Monday (yesterday to be exact) she says the same thing. Now I start laughing inside and silently (because NO one around me will understand my own personal joke with God and no one will think that the exercises we are doing at that moment is worth a laugh) and I say to Him, OK I will blog about this. So here I am blogging about this.

What God showed me about this, is, when your physical body exercises and you do exercises incorrect, your muscles go into spasm and then usually you cannot walk or perform your usual tasks due to this. You do not need to repeat a movement done incorrectly too many times for this to happen. Nope, just as little as one wrong move can cause you severe pain….and because your body is so wonderfully made to warn you when there is something wrong, we normally do not continue the exercise or just take it calmly for a few days until the spasms are sorted out.

The next question or thing that I felt in my spirit is, that, is this not the same with our emotional person and our spiritual person? More the emotional side (the one where all our emotions are and whether we are happy, or tired and exhausted or elating with joy) I would say than the spiritual side.

You see, God created us Spirit, body and soul (mind). The soul dimension is the one that gets exhausted, not wanting to do something, discouraged, you name any negative thing, in my opinion, it happens there (and of course all the positive things also happen here – I am sure you catch my drift).

When your emotional person bends over backwards (you can admit it – we are all people pleasers in one way or another) you sometimes hurt your “muscles” that you have there. The difference between this person and your physical person is, that, one often struggles to identify when the emotional person is hurt and in pain, needs to rest and NOT repeat the movement that brought the pain on in the first place.

BUT, what do we do? We just go on and on and on. When it is holidays or weekends, one often wonders why you cannot sleep properly or why you feel guilty when you are resting or doing something other than work. I for one am one of those people!

For me personally, 2020, the Pandemic and the hard lockdown that we had, was a back breaker. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. That is how I (and I am sure the entire world), experienced it. I am not even going to say “most people” as I often read in articles and hear on videos that people made. No, I am making a statement here that it affected EVERYONE.

Through it all, God was good to me. He is still, to this day, slowly healing my emotional person. From all the bending over backwards that happened over all the years, not only in 2020. I mean, in our line of work, we go the extra mile and do a lot of things out of faith only for it to be thrown back into your face with criticism and in some instances non-payment of our accounts. Not always, but the few times that it does happen (which can be counted on one hand by the way) hurts so badly that you feel like hiding in a cave until the snow storm has passed.

I have had a conversation with God so many times, asking Him WHY do the few people, the ones that are in the minority, hurt us so badly and affect us so badly on an emotional level? I did not get my answer right away, but I did while doing the famous kettlebell swings last week and yesterday.

You see, it is actually very simple. It only takes one or 2 or even 10 incorrect movements to almost paralyze you (not really paralyze you but it affects you so that you cannot function as you usually did) and it is the same on an emotional level. Even if the people who are hurtful to us are the minority, it still hurts and paralyzes us to not be able to go on.

What I have learnt from this whole experience is, if I feel this way about something, then I should listen to my emotional muscles and stop it immediately. It is going to affect me so badly that I will not be able to do anything constructive for the majority of people who are not hurtful….

It is easier said than done, that I will admit. But day-by-day God is busy healing me, teaching me what to stop doing, what to let go of and what to focus my attention on. If He can do it for me, He can surely do it for ANYONE. We only need to learn to TRUST God and the instincts and messages that He instills within our Spirit. After all, the Spiritual person is the one guiding us and if we are not in sync with God then the results may not be as He intended it to be.

Om agteroor te buig
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The Pink Feathers range – the online shop

What felt like forever (which was in reality only one week since I released my first advertisement on Whatsapp) I can confirm that the online shop is READY! I did it with my own two hands and let me tell you, it is not necessarily difficult but rather time consuming.

Between everything else this past week, including and not limited to the tax return deadline that I had to tend to, I made time and worked on this project and I am very proud to say that EVERYTHING – digital and physical items, are now available on this page.

After I released my advertisement last week Sunday via Whatsapp, I received such a positive response from people wanting to order items and wanting to place their orders via Whatsapp. The positive feedback was overwhelming and that forced me to immediately type a message with the instructions that I will only take orders via e-mail and that items will only be supplied based on orders.

Well, that idea was quickly blown out the front door with a tornado named Reality. You see, the Reality is that I still have to design an order form and what must that look like??? How do I ensure that I do not order or deliver the incorrect items? How do I get it to people? These are just a few of the questions that were twisting around in my mind.

Just as I was approaching the big barren desert of hopelessness (something that seemed to happen a lot during this process) I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit. You cannot get this far to quit NOW. There are REALLY people that WILL benefit from this. You must push through.

I share the hopelessness to someone very close to me (she is more like a little sister or friend than an employee), and she tells me that she read something in the past week that God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. I sit for a moment, I read it and understand it, yet I decide to still reply with emojis crying streams of tears because that is just how I felt.

I decide to move forward and just to STOP trying to THINK about this and HOW I am going to do it all. God will surely not let this thing happen out of nothing if I cannot handle it. My answer to everyone who asks about why or how this started is very simple – it just happened. I did not think anything through, I just did it! If I thought about it I would not have done it.

I leave you on this cold wet afternoon from the North West province (it is raining here if you were wondering). Select the menu at the top, browse through my shop and order something if you feel in in your heart to do so. If you are in the Hartbeespoort area choose the collection option when checking out and I will contact you to meet up with you somewhere to collect the items when I am in the area. Of course those of you in the Magaliesburg, Hekpoort, Skeerpoort and other surrounding areas can also choose collection and then we can arrange a date and time for you to collect.

I will be placing my first order with the printers on Monday 29 November 2021. If everything goes well and according to plan and they have no load shedding (something that I am praying about because I know that God will not disappoint me) then I should have it within the next 5 to 7 business days, thus around 7 or 8 December 2021.

The week thereafter, 6 December 2021, I will be placing my second order so that it will be ready around mid-December. This will be my last order for 2021 after which it will be delivered, so do not miss out on making your workspace for 2022 something to motivate and inspire you or to get the last items gifts wise for Christmas!

All the glory be to God and the Holy Spirit who guided me during this entire process. Without Him I am not able to do ANYTHING, because I am surely not as tech-savvy as those who do this for a living. Please excuse the Afrikaans and English pages that are mixed on my website (this is at the menu options), I am working on it to translate it so that there are both English and Afrikaans pages for all.

Die Pienk Vere reeks – die aanlyn winkel
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Die Pienk Vere reeks – die aanlyn winkel

Na wat voel soos ‘n ewigheid (wat eintlik net ‘n week was sedert ek my eerste advertensie gedoen het) is die aanlyn winkel REG! Ek het dit met my eie twee hande gedoen en laat ek jou vertel, dis nie noodwendig moeilik nie maar dit vat tyd.

So tussen alles deur die afgelope week, onder andere die belastingopgawe sperdatum wat ek aan moes aandag gee, het ek tyd gemaak en daaraan gewerk en kan ek nou trots sê dat ALLES – digitaal asook fisiese items, is nou beskikbaar op hierdie blad.

Na ek my advertensie vrygestel het laas week Sondag het daar sommer heelwat Whatsapp boodskappe deur gekom van mense wat belangstel en bestellings via Whatsapp wou deurgee. Die positiewe reaksie het my absoluut oorweldig en het my genoodsaak om DADELIK ‘n boodskap met instruksies te stuur in die lyn van dat ek slegs per e-pos bestellings sal neem en dat voorraad slegs op bestelling aangekoop gaan word.

Vinnig is daardie voorneme by die voordeur uitgewaai met die tornado genaamd Realiteit. Jy sien, die Realiteit is, dat ek nog ‘n bestelvorm moet ontwerp en hoe moet dit lyk??? Hoe maak EK seker dat EK nie verkeerde goed bestel nie? Hoe kry ek dit by mense uit? So maal al die vrae deur my kop.

Net toe ek weer op moedverloor se vlakte sit (wat baie was tydens die projek) por die Heilige Gees my aan. Jy kan nie so ver kom en NOU moed op gee nie. Daar is REGTIG mense wat SAL baat hierby. Jy moet deur druk.

Ek deel my mismoedigheid met iemand baie na aan my (sy is meer soos my klein sussie of vriendin as ‘n werknemer), en sy vertel vir my dat sy in die week gelees het dat God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Ek sit vir ‘n oomblik stil en lees dit. Ek verstaan en hoor, maar tog stuur ek ‘n boodskap terug met emoji gesiggies wat strome trane huil want dis net hoe ek voel.

Ek besluit om voort te beur en net te ophou dink aan HOE ek alles gaan doen en HOE dit gaan werk. Die Here sal wragties nie so iets net uit niks uit laat gebeur as ek dit nie kan hanteer nie. My antwoord aan almal as hulle vra maar hoekom en hoe het die reeks ontstaan, is my antwoord dood eenvoudig – dit het net gebeur. Ek het dit glad nie deurdink nie. Net gedoen. As ek daaroor gedink het, sou ek dit vir seker nie gedoen het nie.

Ek los julle nou op ‘n nat koue Saterdagmiddag vanuit Noord-Wes (dit reën by ons as jy gewonder het). Gaan kies die menu bo, gaan browse deur my winkel en bestel as jy dit op jou hart voel om iets te bestel. As jy in die Harties omgewing is, kies collection opsie met die uitteken proses en ek sal jou kontak en by jou uitkry wanneer ek in die Harties omgewing is. Diegene wat in die Magalies, Hekpoort, Skeerpoort en ander omliggende areas is kan ook die collection opsie kies en dan sal ons ‘n datum afspreek wat dit afgehaal kan word by my.

Ek plaas eerskomende Maandag, 29 November 2021 my eerste bestelling by die drukkers. As alles goed gaan en hulle het nie load shedding nie (iets waaroor ek nou nog bid ook want ek weet net die Here sal my nie teleurstel nie) behoort ek dit binne 5 tot 7 werksdae na dit te ontvang, dus rondom 7 of 8 Desember 2021.

Ek gaan dan die week daarna, 6 Desember 2021 weer ‘n bestelling plaas sodat dit weer teen middel Desember 2021 reg sal wees. Dit sal my laaste bestellings en lewering vir 2021 wees, so moet nie uitmis om jou werkspasie vir 2022 mooi te maak nie, of om die laaste klein ietsie “geskenkerigs” te kry vir Kersfees nie!

Alle eer aan God en die Heilige Gees wat my deurentyd gelei het in die proses. Sonder Hom sou ek NIKS kan doen nie, want ek is vir seker nie so tech-savvy soos mense wat die vir ‘n lewe doen nie. Verskoon asb. die Afrikaans en Engels gemeng op die blad (by die “menu” opsies), ek werk daaraan om al die hoof bladsye nog te vertaal sodat alles in beide Afrikaans en Engels daar is.

The Pink Feathers range – the online shop
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The Pink Feathers- the confirmation

Can I tell you how Mr. Doubt tried to destroy the Pink Feathers ever since I collected the proofs from the printers last week? He comes and then he sows seeds of doubt between that which I have felt God had laid on my heart, and the weeds of doubt almost, very close to ALMOST started to grow, trying to oppress (this word I had to Google because I could not think of the English word for Verdruk) the Pink Feathers.

This morning, we attended church at Doxa Deo Hartbeespoort campus. As always, Kobus Windt is marching up and down the stage (I am SURE it is a stage and not another fancy word to describe what is used as a stage), giving his sermon. He is so passionate and uses examples that we all can relate to, to UNDERSTAND what God is trying to say.

He always uses the saying that sleeping in a garage does not make you a car. The same is applicable to our Christianity. You cannot ONLY attend church on a Sunday and call yourself a Christian. You have to LIVE like one too. Today’s message was no different and certainly portrayed God’s message.

The name of the Series that is being discussed is Reageer (in Afrikaans) or React if you wish to translate it in English. We must react on God’s voice. As I am listening and making notes in my notebook, I can hear the Holy Spirit talk with me and I can sense that he is throwing weed killer over all the little plants of doubt that is trying to grow. Again, He presses on my heart to say “This is what I want YOU to do.”

Just this morning, while getting ready for church, doubt comes yet again and tries to sow negativity all over my mind. The thoughts? How can God use YOU, really? You fail at pretty much everything in your life. Your YouTube video that you tried to make, you called an Epic Fail yourself and laughed about it. What makes you so special and different than other people? You don’t even know the books of the Bible in order and off the top of your head. Not even to talk about the Bible itself.

Doubts similar to the previous ones repeat and continue in my mind. But God is faithful. In the sermon I receive my confirmation that this ís what God wants me to do. I must do thís, I have to reach a certain demographic area, Career woman, as this is where God wants to use me. If I am not going to do it, who will?

For the first time since I started the blog, I heard God speak to me through an Afrikaans song (they are normally English songs). While Kobus closes off the sermon, the worship team walks back onto the stage. Carindé sings in her gorgeous voice Stuur My, so passionate, you can see she is overflowing with God. He invites us to stand up while they are singing the song, if you feel you want to make an impact on a certain demographic environment.

I want to jump up immediately, but as per usual, I am self-conscious. Why I cannot tell you, because NO ONE in the church is observing who stand up and who remain seated. I ask my husband if I heard correctly – can we stand up? He does not answer me immediately, he is sitting with his eyes closed, worshipping God. After a while I hear him say – you may stand up.

I stand up and the moment I did that, I felt the Holy Spirit in a tangible form in my spirit. My eyes shoot full of tears. Not tears of heart ache, just tears that I have NO control over. From experience I KNOW that this is the Holy Spirit. I am on the right track, I am doing what God is expecting from me.

With that being said I am closing off this entry with what I perceive to be better YouTube videos. Shorter videos that explains each individual item better. I am busy working on price lists and I am just going to do it. I am not going to use my technical Accounting skills to try and work out and calculate complex formulae. I am just going to trust God. He will let it happen the way it should. After all, it is all about Him and not about me, so why doubt?

Die Pienk Vere – die bevestiging
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Die Pienk Vere – die bevestiging

Kan ek vir jou vertel hoe het Mnr. Twyfel probeer om die Pienk Vere te vertrap en te verpletter in my gedagtes sedert ek die voorbeelde gaan afhaal het by die drukkers laas week? Hy kom en saai twyfel tussen dit wat die Here op my hart gelê het, en amper, net so bietjie AMPER het die twyfel onkruid opgekom en die Pienk Vere verdruk.

Vanoggend sit ons in die kerk, by Doxa Deo Hartbeespoort kampus. Kobus Windt marsjeer oudergewoonte op en af op die verhoog (by gebrek aan ‘n beter woord vir daar waar hy nou eintlik op staan – ek sien dit as ‘n verhoog en is nou nie seker of daar een of ander fêncy woord is wat ander mense sou gebruik nie). Hy is passievol en gebruik voorbeelde wat mens mee kan vereenselwig om te VERSTAAN wat die Here vir jou probeer sê.

Hy sê mos altyd – as jy in ‘n garage slaap maak dit jou nie ‘n kar nie, net so is dit van toepassing op ons Christenskap. Jy kan nie NET Sondae kerk toe kom en jouself ‘n Christen noem nie. Jy moet dit UITLEEF. Vandag se boodskap was geen uitsondering nie en het vir seker weer God se boodskap oorgedra.

Die naam van die Reeks wat behandel word is Reageer. Ons moet reageer op God se stem. Soos wat ek sit en luister en nota’s maak in my boekie, hoor ek hoe die Heilige Gees met my praat en die onkruiddoder spuit op die twyfel plante wat probeer opkom. Hy druk op my hart om te sê “Dit is wat Ek wil hê JY moet doen.”

Net vanoggend toe ek regmaak vir kerk, kom twyfel weer en probeer weer net nog ‘n ietsie vir oulaas saai in my gedagtes. Die gedagte? Hoe kan die Here JOU gebruik, regtig? Jy kry dan amper niks in jou lewe reg nie? Jou YouTube video’s wat jy gemaak het, het jy dan self ‘n “epic fail” genoem en daaroor gelag. Wat maak jou so “special” en anders as ander mense? Jy ken dan nie eens die Bybel boeke in volgorde uit jou kop uit nie. Nie eens te praat van die Bybel nie.

So gaan die gedagtes aan en aan. Maar die Here is getrou. In die diens kom bevestig Hy vir my wat dit ís wat ek moet doen. Ek moet díe doen, ek het ‘n demografiese area van mense, Beroepsvrouens, wie die Here wil bereik. As ek dit nie gaan doen nie, wie gaan dit dan doen?

Vir die eerste keer sedert ek die blog begin het, praat die Here met my deur ‘n Afrikaanse liedjie. Terwyl Kobus afsluit, stap die worship (worship klink net so mooi vir my) span op die verhoog. Carindé sing in haar nagtegal stem Stuur My, so passievol, jy kan sommer sien sy loop oor van die Here. Hy nooi ons uit, as jy voel jy wil ‘n impak maak op ‘n sekere demografiese omgewing, staan op terwyl hulle dit sing.

Ek wil amper dadelik opstaan, maar is soos gewoonlik self-bewus. Hoekom weet ek nie, want NIEMAND in die kerk kyk wie staan op en wie sit nie. Ek vra my man of het ek reg gehoor – mag ons opstaan? Hy antwoord my nie dadelik nie, sit met sy oë toe en luister en aanbid die Here. Na ‘n rukkie hoor ek hom sê – jy mag opstaan.

Ek staan op, en die oomblik toe ek dit doen, ervaar ek die Heilige Gees tasbaar in my wese. My oë skiet vol trane. Nie hartseer trane nie, net trane wat ek GEEN beheer oor het nie. Uit ervaring WEET ek net, dis die Heilige Gees. Ek is op die regte pad, ek doen wat die Here van my verwag om te doen.

Met dit gesê, sluit ek af met wat ek dink beter YouTube video’s is. Korter video’s wat elke item individueel verduidelik. Ek is besig om die pryslyste uit te werk en gaan dit net doen. Ek gaan nie tegnies raak en my Rekeningkundige skills probeer toepas en allerhande gekompliseerde formules probeer bereken nie. Ek gaan net die Here vertrou. Hy sal dit laat gebeur soos dit moet. Dit gaan in elkgeval oor Hom en nie oor my nie, so waaroor twyfel ek?

The Pink Feathers- the confirmation
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The Pink Feathers Range – the YouTube advertisement

I had this perfect plan in my mind, one with high expectations to make this perfect YouTube advertisement of the Pink Feathers Range that is changing from something that was just a dream and a thought to something tangible and realistic.

Can I tell you? That balloon stuffed full of expectations was popped in the blink of an eye with the pin called REALITY. You see, I have a day job too that I need to work on and tend to, so I do not have time to sit and play around on software programs to edit things until I have the perfect end result, exactly like the one I have in my mind.

The English version of the video I had to retake probably around 10 times (it feels like 500 times and probably even was not 10 times but certainly more than 3 times). Each time, just as I am getting the hang of it and feeling more comfortable, someone walks into the room where I am recording, or someone yells from another room something (we all do that so no judgement here), or the phone rings or the dogs bark too hard or the parrot is too noisy or the cars ZOOM too loudly past our house.

Yesterday morning, when the house was quiet and everyone was somewhere, I decided this is IT. I have been trying to do this video since collecting the proofs on Saturday. Yesterday was the proverbial D-Day. I record it (for the umpteenth time in English) and thankfully the Afrikaans one was just once and I decide this is it. I am not redoing it again. It will be released to the world as it is, because this is how it will be. It is what it is.

I invite you, if you are on Facebook (I am still struggling with Instagram and you may not judge me for that too), to like my page and feel free to share this entry with others or even only the YouTube video. I am still busy setting up the shop on Facebook and truly hope that it is approved now. If not approved then I will make another plan to take orders.

With that being said, I am closing off this entry. I truly hope I am not judged too harshly for my attempt at a YouTube video. This is my first time and I am not one to look at the camera and talk. So you will not see my face, but you will be able to hear my voice…..

Die Pienk Vere Reeks – die YouTube advertensie
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Die Pienk Vere Reeks – die YouTube advertensie

Met hoë verwagtinge het ek hierdie perfekte plan in my kop gehad om ‘n YouTube advertensie te maak van die Pienk Vere Reeks wat besig is om te verander in iets wat net ‘n gedagte en droom was na iets tasbaar en werklik.

Kan ek net vir jou vertel? Daai ballon propvol verwagtinge was in ‘n oogwink gebars met die spelt genaamd REALITEIT. Jy sien, ek het ‘n day job ook wat ek moet handhaaf, so ek het nie tyd om te sit en speel op sagteware programme om goed te edit tot dit perfek en reg is volgens dit wat in my kop is nie.

Ek het die Engelse weergawe van die video seker nagenoeg 10 keer (dit voel soos 500 keer en was dalk nie eens so baie as 10 keer nie maar vir seker meer as 3 keer) probeer opneem. Elke keer as ek lekker op spoed is, dan stap iemand in, of iemand skree iets uit ‘n ander kamer uit (ons almal doen dit so geen judgement hier nie), of die foon lui, of die hond blaf te hard of die pappagaai raas te veel of die karre ZOEM net te hard en vinnig verby.

Gister oggend, toe die huis stil was en almal weg was iewers heen, toe besluit ek dis nou SO. Ek probeer sedert verlede Saterdag, na ek die proewe opgetel het, om die video te maak en kry dit net vervlaks nie reg nie. Gister was dit nou die spreekwoordelike D-dag. Ek neem hom op (eers vir die hoeveelste keer in Engels) en Afrikaans slegs een keer en ek het besluit dis dit. Ek doen hom nie weer nie. Hy word so aan die wêreld bekend gestel net soos hy is want dis hoe dit is.

Ek nooi jou uit, as jy op Facebook is (ek sukkel regtig nog met Instagram en julle mag my nie veroordeel vir dit ook nie), om my blad te gaan like en voel vry om die inskrywing te deel met ander of net die YouTube video. Ek is ook besig om die winkel op Facebook op te stel en hoop wragties hulle het dit nou goed gekeur, as dit nie goedgekeur is nie sal ek ‘n ander plan maak om bestellings te neem.

Met dit gesê sluit ek hierdie inskrywing af. Ek hoop nie ek word te veel veroordeel vir my poging tot ‘n YouTube video nie. Dit is my eerste keer en ek is nie een vir die kamera kyk en praat en goed nie, so julle sien nie my gesig nie maar sal darem my stem kan hoor……

The Pink Feathers Range – the YouTube advertisement
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The Pink Feathers – digital platform launch

This is probably going to be one of the shortest entries ever! After what felt like for ever, I managed to get one of the first digital platforms linked and live ready for the launch…

The name of the platform is Buy me a Coffee….on this platform I will release digital designs.

So without typing too much, click the link below and view the welcome page.

The digital designs are in both Afrikaans and English….on that platform the main language of communication will be English, however, the Afrikaans will not fade and disappear! It is just easier to keep it to English on that platform.

With that being said – go and enjoy that which has been made available!

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Beroepsvrou/welcome-page-768866
Die Pienk vere – digitale platform bekendstelling
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Die Pienk vere – digitale platform bekendstelling

Hierdie gaan seker die kortste inskrywing nog wees! Na wat vir ewig gevoel het, het ek een van die eerste platforms gekoppel gekry en live gekry om te kan bekendstel….

Die naam van die platform is Buy me a Coffee….op hierdie platform gaan digitale ontwerpe bekend gestel word.

So sonder om nog verder iets te tik – kies die skakel hier onder en gaan besigtig my verwelkomingsblad (dit is daar slegs in Engels gedoen).

Die digitale ontwerpe is in beide Afrikaans en in Engels – so moet nie bekommer nie, die Afrikaans gaan nie verlore nie….dis net makliker om op hierdie platform in Engels te kommunikeer….

Met dit gesê – gaan geniet dit wat beskikbaar gestel is!

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Beroepsvrou/welcome-page-768866
The Pink Feathers – digital platform launch
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The Pink Feathers – The Grand Finalé

It is time for the Grand Finalé! Drum roll please…..The moment everyone has silently been waiting for, with the exception of one person, Lynn Grobler, who was prepared to share her curiosity on Facebook…..The great reveal! The reason for the delay in publishing this post will be better understood while you read this entry….

With that being said, I can stop the cryptic messages, I feel that now I may TALK with EVERYONE about the divine heavenly download that God laid on my heart! The Pink feathers was actually a clue with regards to the new season of Beroepsvrou and that which will start to form part of the logo and so forth.

Last weekend, Francis Hartzer (Woordkuns) guessed right about what she perceived the pink feathers represented. I tried to bluf, not sure if I got it right. It is a Flamingo. You see, these days, for some odd reason, I have this fondness and liking to Flamingos. The pink and the prettyness of it all just grabs my attention.

I did one of Woordkuns’ Bible journaling kits that had a Flamingo in it. But this was long before I started noticing the Flamingos. At that stage, I had this preset idea of not sticking ANYTHING in my new Illustrating bible. NO, I shall only paint and draw (I almost sound Shakespearian here…)

Ha ha, biggest joke EVER! Because I then attended the Adorned camp and then it was over. I got over my preset idea. Now you see, the kit from Francis, had a pink flamingo sticker that you can stick in your bible.

The scripture of the kit? Isaiah 60:1-2. The more I read the scripture, the better I understand the association that she had made with the Flamingo and why I decided to use that scripture as part of this project, to further connect the dots with a Flamingo so to speak. That is just one POWERFUL awesome scripture.

The main message in my very secretive project is from Colossians 3:23-24. ALWAYS do your work as if for God and not for man. You see, even if you report to a human being on earth, you still serve God. This is what I have taken out of this scripture – my dumbed down version if you want to call it that.

Is the blog not called Beroepsvrou? We all work for someone. Some for themselves and ultimately for the clients who support their businesses, others for bosses, others are what we call in Afrikaans tuisteskeppers or Home Executives (that just sounds better than stay-at-home-mom). But at the end of the day, we all have to report to someone on this earth. However, God remains above all so we are actually serving Him.

The purpose of this entry is to unravel that cryptic messages and to reveal the big secret. Soooooo……with that being said. God laid it on my heart to create items that will be printed and advertised with scripture on it – aimed at Business Women. Irrespective of what you do for a living and whether you feel you are only a secretary or only the head of a business. By the way, no one is just only somebody. You ARE someone.

Every month of 2022 will have a certain scripture and then God laid it on my heart to blog a bit more in depth on that scripture for that month. God wants to reach ALL business women, even if you do not sit behind a computer and desk the whole day long, there will be something that you can use.

I tried to think of a rhyme for 2022 but could not come up with one in Afrikaans, only English. You see, 2020 was the year of plenty – which ended up being plenty of washing, plenty of school work, plenty of everything we did not have planned.

2021 was no different, but I proclaimed it as 2021 the year we get things done. And it was like that! Still is! Things we wanted to do in and around our house, but never got round to it, happened, some even early in January. I stand in amazement when I look back at the year that passed, at everything that was achieved, and we still have a little less than 2 months left to continue achieving goals, climbing mountains.

So what will the rhyme be for 2022? I thought about it long and hard. The only thing I could come up with, was from a childhood nursery rhyme. Apparently I am the only one that knows this – my husband looked at me strangely when I said it, and someone else if not mistaken, but I cannot remember who.

2022 Buckle my shoe (from the rhyme One, two buckle my shoe, thre four, knock on the door….). I sit and think about this for a while, why buckle my shoe? Then the penny drops in my spirit. We must fasten our shoes to be ready to stand up against the enemy’s attacks and spread the word of peace. It can be found in Ephesians 6:15, if you were wondering where this is written in the bible…

Back to the items that are being made. The aim is to have an A3 sized desk pad calendar printed (this will be the one with the scriptures on). Then there will be a notebook, a mousepad and a small calendar that looks like a tent (which is called a tent calendar) and of course a few digital goodies to brighten up your computer and cellphone. At the Adorned camp, God also laid it on my heart to make aprons and to have them embroidered. I am pleased and excited to say that the first (small) order has arrived!

I will blog in more depth about the background and why I chose WHAT, else this blog will become too long to read. But here is a fun fact about Flamingos. One that I read in my son’s one facts book (he has been intrigued by facts since he was small and still is).

Do you know why the feathers of a Flamingo are pink? There is Beta carotene (I hope Google translate is correct here – the fact book is in Afrikaans) in their food. Should they be moved to another place with different nutrients in their food, their feathers will become grey. Flamingos in a Zoo get carrot juice to maintain the pink feathers. Source: Helen Lewis’ “Vinnige Feite”.

That brings me to the next thing that God dropped in my spirit (just like that). What are you filling your spirit up with? Do you present yourself grey to the world? How PINK are your feathers for God? Do you eat enough spiritual food to maintain the pink color of your feathers or do you eat very little or almost nothing that results in your feathers being dull and grey?

You must remember, you cannot fill your spirit sporadically with something spiritual. It is a constant feed, almost like a drip, directly to your veins, that will ensure that your feathers stay pink. I ask again – how pink are your feathers for God? The words from I am SOLD OUT are dancing around in my mind again. I certainly have PINK feathers for God and I am totally SOLD OUT to follow Jesus. Always, irrespective of the circumstances.

The platforms on which the said items can be acquired from will be made known soon (I am still working on some of them and hence the delay in the publishing of this final chapter) and I certainly do not want this to sound like a Verimark Ad….But wait, there’s MORE! With that being said I close off this Grand Finalé and know that everyone will be as excited as I am about the news that has just been made public knowledge!

Die Pienk Vere – Slot hoofstuk
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Die Pienk Vere – Slot hoofstuk

Dis tyd vir die Grand Finalé! Drum roll please…..Die oomblik waarvoor almal stil-stil gewag het en net een persoon, Lynn Grobler, bereid was om uit te vra op Facebook…..The great reveal! Die rede vir die lang wag sal jul wel beter verstaan soos wat julle die inskrywing lees….

Met dit gesê, kan ek maar ophou kripties wees en voel ek dat ek nou kan PRAAT met ALMAL oor dit wat die Here op my hart gelê het! Die Pienk vere was eintlik net ‘n clue van die nuwe seisoen van Beroepsvrou en wat deel gaan word van die logo en net alles wat saam met dit saam gaan.

Laas naweek het Francis Hartzer (Woordkuns) reg geraai waaroor die pienk vere gaan. Maar ek het probeer bluf, ek weet nie of ek dit reg gekry het nie. Dis ‘n Flamink. Jy sien, deesdae is ek net vir een of ander rede versot op Flaminke. Die pienk en die mooi trek net my aandag.

Ek het een van Woordkuns se Bible journaling kits gedoen wat ‘n Flamink in gehad het. Maar dit was voor ek so Flaminke begin opmerk het. Op daardie stadium, toe ek die bladsy gedoen het, het ek hierdie vooropgestelde idee gehad dat ek NIKS in my nuwe Illustrating bybel gaan plak nie. NEE ek gaan net verf en teken.

Ha ha, grootste grap ooit! Want toe woon ek die Adorned kamp by en toe is dit verby. Ek het oor my vooropgestelde idee gekom. Nou Francis se kit het ‘n flamink plakker in gehad wat jy kan plak op die bladsy.

Die skrif van die kit? Jesaja 60:1-2. Hoe meer ek die skrif lees, hoe meer verstaan ek hoekom sy die assosiasie met die Flamink gemaak het en hoekom ek daardie skrif gebruik in hierdie projek en self verder die konnetasie met Flaminke kon maak. Daardie is net een van hierdie GROOT en Powerful teksverse.

Die oorhoofse boodskap in my baie geheimsinnige projek kom uit Kolossense 3:23-24. Doen jou werk ALTYD asof vir die Here en nie vir mense nie. Want, jy dien die Here al rapporteer jy aan ‘n mens. Dis nou my vereenvoudigde vertaling van die skrif en wat EK uit dit neem.

Die blog is tog Beroepsvrou nie waar nie? Ons almal werk vir iemand. Sommige vir onsself maar eintlik vir kliënte, ander vir base, ander is tuisteskeppers. Maar op die ou einde van die dag het ons almal iemand aan wie ons rapporteer op aarde. Maar God is bo alles op aarde, so eintlik rapporteer ons aan Hom.

Die doel van hierdie inskrywing is om die kriptiese boodskappe te ontrafel en bekend te maak. Sooooo…..met dit gesê. Dit wat die Here op my hart gelê het om te doen, is om artikels te druk en te bemark met skrif op – gerig op Beroepsvrouens. Ongeag wat jy doen. Of jy voel jy is net ‘n sekretaresse of jy is net die grootbaas van ‘n organisasie. Net so tussen ons – niemand is net iemand nie. Jy IS iemand.

Elke maand van 2022 gaan ‘n bepaalde teksvers hê en dan het die Here dit op my hart gelê om te blog daaroor. Meer in diepte in te gaan oor dit. Die mense wie die Here wil bereik is ALLE beroepsvrouens, en, selfs al sit jy nie pal agter ‘n rekenaar nie, is daar tog ietsie wat jy sal kan gebruik.

Ek het probeer dink aan ‘n rympie vir 2022, maar kon aan niks in Afrikaans dink nie. Jy sien (en die moet jy nou engels lees anders gaan dit glad nie sin maak nie) – 2020 was the year of plenty – wat opgeëindig het in plenty of washing, plenty of school work, plenty of everything we did not have planned.

2021 was geen uitsondering nie, maar ek het dit proklameer as 2021 the year we get things done. En dit was toe so gewees! Is steeds! Goed wat ons in en om die huis nooit by uitgekom het nie, het gebeur, sommer vroeg in Januarie al. En as ek terug kyk na die jaar wat verby is, en met net so bietjie minder as 2 maande oor om nog doelwitte te bereik, staan ek in verbasing oor alles wat gebeur het.

Wat is my rympie vir 2022? Kyk ek het gedink en gedink. Al wat ek mee kon opkom, was iets wat ek uit ‘n kinderrympie onthou van toe ek groot geword het, wat klaarblyklik niemand anders ken nie (my man het my vreemd aangekyk toe ek dit sê en nog iemand – ek kan nie onthou wie nie).

2022 Buckle my shoe (van die rympie – One two, buckle my shoe, three four, knock on the door….) . Ek sit vir lank en dink daaroor, hoekom buckle my shoe? Toe val dit net so in my gees. Ons moet ons skoene van ons wapenrusting aantrek en vasmaak. Jy moet die Skoene aantrek van bereidheid om die Evangelie van Vrede te verkondig sodat jy kan vas staan teen die aanslae van die vyand. Efés 6:15 as jy gewonder het waar dit in die Bybel staan…

Terug by die items wat gemaak gaan word – die mikpunt is om ‘n A3 tafelkalender (deskpad) te druk (hy is die een wat die skrifverse op gaan hê). Dan sal daar nog ‘n notaboek wees, ‘n mousepad (ek weet nou wragties nie WAT dit in Afrikaans is nie – ‘n muishuis klink nie reg nie), ‘n klein kalender wat soos ‘n tent staan (wat hoeka ‘n tent calendar genoem word) en natuurlik bietjie digitale goedjies ook om jou rekenaar en selfoon te versier. Op die Adorned kamp het die Here dit ook op my hart gelê om voorskote te laat maak en borduur en ek is opgewonde om te sê die eerste (klein) besending het gearriveer!

Ek sal nog ‘n meer in diepte blog doen oor die agtergrond van hoekom ek WAT gekies het, anders is die net te lank om te lees. Maar, hier is ‘n fun fact oor Flaminke. Een wat ek uit my seun se een feite boek uit gekry het (hy was van kleins af versot op feite en is nogsteeds).

Weet jy hoekom Flaminke se vere so pienk is? Daar is Betakaroteen in hul kos. As hulle na ‘n ander plek met ander voeding sou skuif, sal hul vere grys word. Flaminke in dieretuine kry wortelsap om hul vere pienk te hou. Bron: Helen Lewis se Vinnige Feite.

Dit bring my by die volgende ding wat die Here in my gees laat val het – sommer net so sonder dat ek te veel daaroor gedink het. Waarmee vul jy jou gees op? Vertoon jy grys vir die wêreld? Hoe PIENK is jou vere vir die Here? Eet jy baie geestelike kos wat jou vere pienk hou of eet jy min of niks wat dit vaal en grys laat vertoon?

Jy moet nou onthou, jy kan nie elke dan en wan ietsie geesteliks inkry nie. Dis ‘n konstante voeding wat sorg dat die vere pienk bly. Ek vra weer – hoe pienk is jou vere vir die Here? I am SOLD OUT….dans die woorde weer deur my kop. My vere is beslis PIENK vir die Here en ek is UITVERKOOP om Jesus te volg. Altyd. Ongeag die omstandighede.

Ek sal binnekort die platforms bekendstel waar die betrokke items aangeskaf kan word (ek werk nog daaraan en daarom dat die slot hoofstuk so bietjie langer geneem het om te publiseer) en wil nou nie hierdie soos ‘n Verimark advertensie laat klink nie….But wait, there’s MORE! Met dit gesê sluit ek die Grand Finalé af en weet ek sommer net dat almal so opgewonde sal wees oor dit wat pas bekend gemaak is, soos wat ek is!

The Pink Feathers – The Grand Finalé
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The Pink Feathers – Penultimate chapter

In a world full of followers, I’ll be a leader! In a world full of doubters I’ll be a believer! I am stepping out without a hesitation ’cause my soul is like a stadium! Nananananana na naananana (words that I cannot remember but sing along to on the beat of the music)…..I’m SOLD OUT!!!

I have been walking and singing the song Sold Out by Hawk Nelson for days now, no wait, weeks. I search for the song on Spotify every time I sit behind my laptop to do my day job. I dance to the beat of the music (on my chair which is a funny sight) while slaving away.

I decide to Google the lyrics. I read it. It feels like this song has been written JUST for ME, for this very secretive project that I am sharing bit-by-bit with the rest of the world. It is just WOW. I cannot help but feel like this! I am totally sold out to Jesus. I always was, but now even MORE than before.

Every time when Doubt tries to whisper something in my ear, I read the scripture, the promise, that God gave me for this project. “Do not remember the former things, Or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18‭-‬19 AMP

With such a powerful piece of scripture, how can one even THINK of Doubt, let alone listen to him? Then I think of the other confirmation that I received. For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 AMP

Wow! With that being said I push forward with the project. I am on a mission as they would say….I am SOLD OUT…..nannnannanna nana SOLD OUT! I continue to sing this while I work on the project. God will make a path in the wilderness!

To be continued with the Grand Finalé…..

Die Pienk Vere – Voorlaaste hoofstuk
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Die Pienk Vere – Voorlaaste hoofstuk

In a world full of followers, I’ll be a leader! In a world full of doubters I’ll be a believer! I am stepping out without a hesitation ’cause my soul is like a stadium! Nananananana na naananana (woorde wat ek nie kan onthou nie en saam sing op die maat van die musiek)…..I’m SOLD OUT!!!

So loop en sing ek die liedjie van Hawk Nelson se Sold Out vir dae, nee wag weke. Elke keer as ek by my rekenaar sit, gaan soek ek die liedjie op Spotify en speel hom. Ek dans lekker saam in my stoel terwyl ek hom luister en my day job doen.

Ek gaan Google die woorde. Lees dit. Jitte maar dit voel vir my of hierdie liedjie geskryf is net vir my, vir hierdie geheimsinnige projek wat ek bietjie vir bietjie met die wêreld deel…Dis net soos in, WOW. Ek kan nie anders as om so te voel nie. Ek is totaal uitverkoop aan Jesus! Was nog altyd maar nou NOG meer as voorheen.

Elke keer as Twyfel in my ore iets probeer fluister, gaan lees ek die skrif wat die Here vir my gegee het vir die projek. Dink nie aan die vorige dinge nie, en slaan geen ag op wat vroeër gebeur het nie. Kyk, Ek gaan iets nuuts maak; nou sal dit uitspruit; sal julle dit nie merk nie? Ja, Ek maak ‘n pad in die woestyn, riviere in die wildernis. Jes. 43:18‭-‬19 AFR53.

Met so ‘n magtige skrifvers, hoe kan mens enigsins DINK aan Twyfel en luister vir hom? Dan dink ek aan die ander bevestiging wat ek ontvang het. Want Ék weet watter gedagtes Ek aangaande julle koester, spreek die Here, gedagtes van vrede en nie van onheil nie, om julle ‘n hoopvolle toekoms te gee. Jer. 29:11 AFR53.

Wow! Met dit gesê stoom ek voort met die projek. Op ‘n mission soos mens sou sê….I am SOLD OUT…..nannnannanna nana SOLD OUT! Sing ek verder terwyl ek werk aan die projek….Die Here gaan die pad maak in die Wildernis!

Grand finalé volg…

The Pink Feathers – Penultimate chapter
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The Pink Feathers – Chapter 3

I was awake one morning early this past week. Something that has not happened in a long time. Surprisingly enough I feel rested enough to get up. To lie around and wait for the sun to come up feels like a total and utter waste of time. I sit behind my laptop and decide to get some quotes for the project.

I start on Facebook, do Google searches. You name it I did it. I ask all these questions on all the quotes. Some people just don’t understand what it is that I am asking for. Then I hear it again – Doubt is screaming in my ears. Am I not TOO specific? Is it not too early in the morning that I am not awake enough and cannot type properly? These are only a few of the questions that ran through my mind.

It feels like I am hitting the one brick wall after the other. As if things just don’t want to happen. Did I waste time AND money on this project? Did I get excited for nothing about this Divine Heavenly download that God gave me? I feel a bit deflated at times. At the point of just giving up.

Then I get the e-mail from someone. He can print the things for me the way I want it. No problem. Just not bigger than a certain size – which is perfect for me else it is too big. Again I sit with my hands in my hair in absolute unbelief. Can it be true? Is it really going to happen?

I confirm with him that I will finalise my designs this weekend. You see, it is month end here again AND end of year madness is starting to kick in. Everyone wants something of me. I like to refer to this feeling as Stukkie van der Merwe (an Afrikaans song that I have not really listened to in depth so I cannot tell you exactly what it is about….) – everyone wants a piece of something. Just quickly this and that.

I chat with someone else, she suggests that I do a catalogue. I think to myself – HOW? I wanted to have the things printed and then make a video to promote and market it in that manner. My goodness, I do not even know HOW MANY to make? What price am I going to charge? How much is it going to cost? What if I print too many and then I get stuck with things that I will have to use until the end of the world if it does not sell?

To be continued….

Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 3
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Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 3

Die afgelope week was ek een oggend baie vroeg wakker. Iets wat lank laas gebeur het. Ek voel verbasend goed en besluit om op te staan. Om te lê en wag vir die son om op te kom is tyd mors. Ek skuif agter my rekenaar in en besluit om kwotasies te begin kry vir die projek.

Ek gaan op Facebook, doen ‘n Google search. Jy noem dit ek doen dit. Vra vir almal dit, dat en die volgende. Sommige mense verstaan glad nie wat ek vra nie en dan kom Twyfel weer en raas in my ore. Is ék nie TE spesifiek nie? Is dit nie te vroeg die oggend dat ek eintlik nog slaap en nie behoorlik kan tik nie? So gaan die vrae aan en aan.

Dit voel of ek baksteen muur na baksteen muur tref. Asof dinge net nie wil gebeur nie. Het ek nou wragties geld en tyd gemors met die projek? Het ek nou verniet myself opgewonde gemaak oor die Hemelse download wat die Here vir my gegee het? Ek voel so bietjie deflated die week. Gee so te sê moed op.

Dan kom die e-pos deur van iemand af – hy kan vir my die goed druk soos ek dit wil hê. Geen probleem nie. Net nie groter nie (wat ek nie wil hê nie want dis weer te groot). Ek sit weer met my hande in my hare van pure ongeloof. Kan dit waar wees? Gaan dit regtig gebeur?

Ek bevestig met hom dat ek my ontwerpe die naweek sal finaliseer. Jy sien dis mos weer maandeinde EN einde van die jaar madness wat begin manifesteer voel dit vir my. Ek is alweer soos Stukkie van der Merwe – almal wil ‘n stukkie hê. Net gou-gou dit en vinnig dat.

Ek praat met nog iemand, sy stel voor ek doen ‘n katalogus. Ek dink by myself – HOE? Ek wou die goed laat maak het en dan ‘n video maak en dit so bemark. Liewe aarde ek weet nie eens HOEVEEL om te laat maak nie? Watter prys vra ek? Hoeveel gaan dit my kos? Net nou sit ek met ‘n hoop goed en dan gaan ek dit gebruik tot die wederkoms as dit nie verkoop nie.

Word vervolg….

The Pink Feathers – Chapter 3
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The Pink Feathers – Chapter 2

As the project reaches the end of its runway (gosh I had to Google this as I could not think what aanloopbaan was in English!). Anyway, as it reaches the end of the track, ready to take off, I hear this noise. Hectic loud noise. It is so loud I struggle to hear anything else. I keep quiet for a moment. Then I realise – it is Chaos and Doubt that is making this noise.

I am trying to ensure that I heard correctly. MUST I do what God has laid on my heart? Did I hear correctly? Is it not me getting carried away again with something that I enjoy doing? Am I not getting excited because it is something DIFFERENT to my day job?

Just as the pressure from Chaos and Doubt almost becomes too much for me, and I almost give up on everything, I HEAR God’s voice again. He sends me confirmation. The confirmation is in such a unique way like I have never experienced it before. It comes with two scriptures in three different messages. Both the scriptures overlap in the messages that I receive. I hope this makes sense what I am trying to say? Long and short – Message 1 had a scripture, then message 2 has the scripture from message 1 and another additional scripture. Lastly the third message had the second scripture from message 2 in it. How is that for a riddle? Almost like my mom’s bother’s wife’s aunt’s dog’s babysitter. (As I typed this, this just sounds better in Afrikaans, but I leave it here anyway, I am sure you understand what I am trying to say…).

Wow, if I ever wondered, well, now I know! It is what it is. It MUST be done! I MUST do this!! This is what God wants. As I work on my day job, it is as if God drops things into my spirit at regular intervals. I grab my dedicated note book and make notes as I receive it and then I continue with my day job. You know, the one that puts food on the table and pays the bond, that day job.

My goodness, I have NEVER in my life experienced something like this! It is a turmoil of STUFF. Do this, do that, make so and so…(that just sounds like a direct translation but I am leaving it here anyway as that is what my mind told me). It feels like I cannot stay ahead!! It is like I am receiving this absolute Divine Heavenly download. Things God is just GIVING me. The decision remains mine what I want to do with it. Do I ignore it or do I take the leap of faith?

I chat with Anri again. She suggests that this thing that I want to do, must not be bilingual together in one thing (it is very cryptic what I am trying to say, but you will see in the closing chapter what it all is about). It makes it look cluttered and just not pretty. I listen to her and agree. I thought I was saving time (and money) but actually, it will just destroy the whole effect to try and squash everything in.

While working on the project again, it is as if God shows me WHY He made the two ladies part of the project. You see, the one is Afrikaans and the other one English. It was not a deliberate decision before hand. It just happened.

To be continued…..

Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 2
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Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 2

Soos wat die projek die einde van sy aanloopbaan bereik en reg is om op te styg, hoor ek iets. ‘n Moewiese geraas. Jitte maar dit raas in my ore. Ek sit vir ‘n oomblik stil. Dan besef ek – dis Chaos en Twyfel wat so raas.

Ek maak seker ek het reg gehoor. MOET ek doen wat die Here op my hart lê? Het ek regtig reg gehoor? Is dit nie net ek wat weer carried away raak met iets wat vir my lekker is nie? Raak ek nie weer opgewonde omdat dit nou iets ANDERS is as my gewone daaglikse take nie?

Net soos wat ek amper ingee en swig onder die druk van Chaos en Twyfel (en amper opgee in die proses), HOOR ek weer die Here se stem. Hy stuur vir my bevestiging. Op so ‘n unieke manier wat ek nog nooit ervaar het nie. Die bevestiging kom in die vorm van 2 skrif verse in drie verskillende boodskappe. Die verse oorvleuel in die drie boodskappe wat ek ontvang. Ek hoop dit wat ek probeer sê maak sin. Lang en kort is – boodskap 1 het ‘n bepaalde vers gehad. Boodskap 2 het boodskap 1 se vers gehad en nog een. Boodskap 3 het boodskap 2 se nuwe vers wat nie in Boodskap 1 was nie in gehad. Hoe is daai nou vir ‘n riddle? Amper iets soos my man se vrou se tannie se man se kind se hond se kinderopasser.

Wow, as ek nou ooit gewonder het dan weet ek nou! Dis so! Ek MOET hierdie doen. Dis wat die Here wil hê. Soos wat ek werk aan my day job laat val die Here kort-kort goed in my gees. Ek gryp my dedicated notaboek en maak nota’s soos wat ek dit kry en dan gaan ek weer aan met my day job. Jy weet – die een wat die kos op die tafel sit en die verband betaal – daai day job.

Liewe aarde ek het nog nooit so iets in my lewe ervaar nie! Dis ‘n warboel van GOED. Doen dit, doen dat, maak so en so. Dit voel omtrent of ek nie kan voorbly nie! Dis soos hierdie Hemelse download wat die Here net GEE. Wat ek daarmee gaan doen is vir my om te besluit. Ignoreer ek dit of neem ek die geloofstap?

Ek gesels alweer met Anri. Sy stel voor dat dit wat ek doen nie saam tweetalig gedoen moet word nie (ek weet dis super kritpies hier maar in die slot hoofstuk sal jy beter verstaan waarvan ek praat). Dit maak dit cluttered en deurmekaar en lyk net nie mooi nie. Ek luister en stem in, ek het gedink ek spaar tyd (en geld) maar eintlik verwoes dit net die hele effek om alles in te probeer druk.

Soos wat ek weer aan die projek werk, is dit asof die Here vir my wys juis hoekom ek die twee dames deel gemaak het van die projek. Jy sien, die een is Afrikaans en die ander een Engels. Dit was nou glad nie vooraf besluit nie. Dit het net so gebeur.

Word vervolg….

The Pink Feathers – Chapter 2
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The Pink Feathers – Chapter 1

Following my recent incident with technology, I felt that God laid something on my heart that must be done. Ok, it was actually laid on my heart BEFORE the incident with the laptop. But, I was VERY skeptical about this concept that He wants me to do, especially before the episode with the laptop. I shared it with two people who are close to my heart and they were almost more excited than what I was about this THING that God laid on my heart to do! Just like that, easy peazey lemon squeezy I had a team of two people who will help me to look at this project with critical eyes before the big launch.

You see, He is busy with a new season for me. I was unsure what it was, somedays I still feel unsure about the whole thing. But I can FEEL it. Deep in my spirit I can just FEEL it. I do not know how else to describe it other than this total and utter calmness inside of me, even if chaos is calling all round me.

It surely does not mean that I am suddenly all high & mighty and don’t panic at times about things. No, unfortunately I still have MOMENTS. But the MOMENTS do not rule my life. Not like before.

I start to work on the project, chat with selective people about that, because God’s instruction was to NOT share it with everyone, like I normally do. No, I must test the waters and ask a few people what they think about the concept and then work from there.

So it happened that I chat with Anri from Painted Lemons and I asked her to do the blog’s logo electronically. One thing leads to another and when I saw again she was part of the design and concept! Something I am so grateful for. You see, she has a very trained eye when it comes to designs and she is not scared to give her opinion at all.

I am very eager to learn and grab hold of any and all pieces of constructive criticism uttered. I make the changes systematically. She guided me so wonderfully during this process and gave me such precious advice about everything. From the design to the layout, ag just sommer about everything!

Each moment that I have, that is my own, is applied to this project. Week nights I work for short periods of time and this frustrates me for two reasons. The first one is that by the time I get round to doing this, I am so EXHAUSTED after laboring the whole day and everything that had to be done. The second one is the small amount of time that I have to do something but actually not doing anything you know?

Last weekend I sat pretty much the entire Sunday working on the project. Finally it is done! I am not sure if I should laugh or cry because this is it. It is DONE. I am finished with this, barely 2 or 3 weeks after I started this project. The project that felt so overwhelming and TOO MUCH at times, is finally finished. I am not sure how this is possible, but it is finished.

To be continued….

Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 1
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Die Pienk Vere – Hoofstuk 1

Na my onlange onderonsie met tegnologie het die Here dit op my hart gelê om iets te doen. Ok eintlik VOOR die rekenaar onderonsie was dit alreeds op my hart gelê. Maar, voor die rekenaar episode was ek maar BAIE skepties oor die konsep wat Hy wil hê ek moet doen. Ek het dit met twee mense na aan my gedeel en hulle was amper meer opgewonde as ek oor dit wat die Here op my hart gelê het om te doen! Net so, wiep wap mielie pap, het ek ‘n span van twee mense wat my help om met kritiese oë na die projek te kyk voor die groot launch.

Jy sien, Hy is besig met ‘n nuwe seisoen vir my. Ek was nie seker presies wat dit was nie, is deesdae steeds nie aldag seker nie. Maar ek kan dit VOEL. Hier binne in my gees VOEL ek dit! Ek weet nie hoe anders om dit te beskryf as hierdie ongelooflike kalmte binne my al roep chaos oral om my heen nie.

Dit beteken vir seker nie dat ek nou skielik all high & mighty is en nie panic by tye oor seker goed nie. Nee, ek het, ongelukkig nog OOMBLIKKE. Maar die OOMBLIKKE oorheers nie my lewe nie. Nie soos altyd nie.

Ek begin werk aan die projek, gesels met selektiewe mense, want, die Here het dit op my hart gelê om dit nie met ALMAL te deel soos wat ek gewoonlik doen nie. Nee, ek moet voelers uitsteek en paar mense vra wat hulle dink van die konsep en van daar af werk.

So gebeur dit dat ek met Anri van Painted Lemons gesels en haar vra om my logo elektronies te doen. One thing leads to another en toe ek weer sien trek ek haar in by my ontwerp! Iets waaroor ek bitter dankbaar is. Jy sien, sy het ‘n geoefende oog met ontwerp en is nie bang om haar opinie te gee nie.

Ek is gretig om te leer en gryp elke stukkie opbouende kritiek wat geuiter word aan en maak stelselmatig die veranderinge. Sy lei my so wonderlik in die proses en gee soveel waardevolle insette oor alles. Van die ontwerp tot die formaat, ag sommer net alles!

Elke liewe oomblik wat ek het, wat my eie tyd is, word aangewend tot die projek. Ek werk vir kort rukkies op weeksaande, wat my frustreer om twee redes – die eerste een is dat teen die tyd dat ek hierby uitkom is ek poegaai na die dag se werk en net alles wat gedoen moes word vir die betrokke dag. Die ander frustrasie is die min tyd wat ek het om iets te doen maar ook eintlik nie te doen nie jy weet?

Laas naweek sit ek omtrent die hele Sondag en werk aan die projek. Uiteindelik is ek klaar! Ek weet nie of ek moet lag of huil nie want dis nou so. Skaars 2 of 3 weke ná ek die taak aangepak het, wat so oorweldigend en net TE gevoel het, is dit klaar. Ek weet nie hoe dit moontlik is nie, maar dis klaar.

Word vervolg….

The Pink Feathers – Chapter 1
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Training while training…

Last week I was trying to be super effective. You see with the computer crash the week before, I lost some valuable work time. The documents on the computer are not a big issue, although as time passes by, I realise what I needed and used – mostly templates and control sheets for internal use, thus not really affecting the work output. Although it affects me, as I feel lost without everything that I was used to using on that machine!

So Monday afternoon, I get on our treadmill and I decide today is the day that I am going to exercise WHILE watching some training videos. I could not go to the Cross Fit club as my children were ill. I had to do the responsible thing of being a mother and take care of them and put my own needs aside. You see, I realised that I NEED exercise to stay sane. For years I was praying to God to help me LOVE exercise. Guess what? He came through for me! Now I deter missing a week of exercise!

I am also one of those people who like to think I am effective. A scenario such as the one from last Monday is a typical one. If I can exercise WHILE doing something to take my mind off the walking on the Treadmill, well, then I do it!

I decide to start climbing the mountain of Ethics training that is literally lying in front of me like Mount Everest. You see, since signing up in September, I have not really left the base camp as yet. I try to do what needs to be done and then some or another snow storm hits, forcing me back to pretty much where I started.

I spent a good 30 minutes or so on the treadmill, reading through the first four weeks’ worth of documents that have to be completed and tended to on a weekly basis. Of course I did not do this – complete them as they should have been done. But at least I READ them. That is a start. Now my brain knows what to expect.

Again I had eye-rolling moments reading through the content. I was thinking to myself, how can people not know this? Why do people have to have ethics training? Is it not something that just happens? Well clearly not! I realised that these documents are meant for trainees too – not only for people such as myself with 20+ years experience in the field (now I sound OLD if I look at the number of years’ experience I have…).

Young adults entering our business world, who may not have been brought up in an ethical environment. That is why the layout is the way that it is. I should not roll my eyes at it but rather just roll with it if this makes sense? Just do it, even if I KNOW it, just do it. That is the requirement.

One of the documents catch my eye – learning to say No. This is interesting. A skill I am yet to master. Something I personally struggle with. I read through it and realise that my eye-rolling moments for week one’s training notes should be withdrawn. I can benefit more from this than what I realise!

I then start to watch one of the videos – one of the first ones where Hettie Brittz speaks. I only get up to about 5 minutes into the video and then my time is up. I have to finish on the Treadmill and start supper….immediately regret takes over. I should not have spent all that time reading through the documents! I should have watched the videos!

But, now I know how I am going to take on Mount Ethics. One step at a time and where needed, I will use the Treadmill to burn some calories that accumulated during the day from all the coffee that I had while slaving away behind my laptop.

I just also HAVE to mention – while doing this training, I did NOT set up my laptop next to the treadmill! No – I used my phone. Probeta was so kind enough to design an Application that can be used on phones and tablets to assist you on the go, literally like I did while walking on the treadmill…with this being said, one really does not have any excuse for not doing this training! Make a plan man!

I also decided somewhere through this post to not blog this one in Afrikaans. You see, the heading Training while training will just not be as catchy and effective in Afrikaans….Opleiding tydens oefening just does not sound right to me!

Watch out for the next blog post about this Mountain that all CA’s in South Africa are trying to climb! You might just get some tips and tricks or even motivation to start the process and just do it…

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The crash…

I survived THE CRASH. Not a car crash or a plane crash. A computer crash. Yes you read correctly – for the second time in my life as a business owner, this has happened.

The first time was 15 years ago and let me tell you, I did not deal with it like I did now. I was upset and crying the whole time. Wasting precious time and energy on something that was out of my control.

This time it was different. It was a new laptop, 3 months old. No work data lost, but other personal and business data (that I decided to store electronically on my C: due to the sensitivity of the information) was lost.

Yet, all was not lost if this makes sense? My e-mails are on a web based platform, so I only lost really old e-mails from longer than 4 years ago. Let me rather say, I cannot access them now. This is probably ok as the information is not necessarily relevant you know?

All the business documents are on e-mail on the web, I just have to locate them again and save them like I used to. Fill in the gaps from when I got the new computer to now. Long and short is I can work around it. It is a pain, but it can be done. My biggest frustration? Not being able to work for 3 days while trying to recover data, setting up on another laptop…..trying to remember links, etc.

I told the people that work for me I feel like I started a new job! I am there, earning a salary but not contributing to pay the salary. I felt lost, hopeless with no one to guide me as to what to do!

This whole week a song has been playing in my mind. Matthew West’s Brand New. I could not understand WHAT God was trying to tell me with this song? If you listen to the words, it is more applicable, in my opinion, to someone that has just turned their life around.

I then felt deep in my spirit God pressing on my heart so many things I have been praying about for so long. Things that He says MUST happen. Things that I was doubting on whether I HEARD correctly. He sends me 2 verses confirming something that must be done, one verse overlapping in two messages if that makes sense? I got three messages, coincidently the second one I received, had both verses on.

When I realised that the laptop was crashing I prayed for it. I anointed it. I bound the work of the devil, because I thought it was him trying to stop me from doing what God had laid on my heart to do. I just did not grab the garlic to keep the vampires away (as some myths teach people)…. I was frustrated but calm at the same time. Never in my life had I been this calm about something as big as this. Remember – this is my WORK LIFE that is going up in smoke so to speak!

But, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that God allowed this to happen. He created order for me because He saw that I could not create it! You see, I had a system on Outlook. It worked wonderfully for me, or so I thought. But that system that I had was actually driving me into the ground, causing me to not function efficiently!

I was in such a daze feeling overwhelmed all of the time, that I was still operating in 2020 mode to some extent. Doing what I had to do to survive….not really winning and making progress. I have to laugh at God’s sense of humour! He is now forcing me to write on a piece of paper again, especially work stuff. I always had lists, but my lists got lists. Things were written on little pieces of paper, post it notes, scrap paper. They were there but all over the show. Everywhere! Name it and it had a list on it!

You see, what I realised was, we are so dependent on technology to create order, that when technology fails us, we are lost. The Boxwood tree that I am felt LOST and out of control. I feel God’s Spirit pressing on my heart to just LISTEN to what He wants me to do. “Create order the way I taught you long ago” I hear the whisper in my soul. “Write it down, mark it off when done. Stay focused on what you need to do when your time to do it is there.”

Suddenly I realise WHY the song was playing around in my head this whole week. It is because God wants to make something new. He is making me new on different levels in places that I did not know I had to be fixed and made new.

He’s making you new….He is making you brand new! I hear the words turn and turn in my mind. “I know God. I understand.” is my answer. Here is to the newness being created! May God’s name be glorified always, especially in all that He has pressed on my heart to do.

Die “crash”…..
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Die “crash”…..

Ek het die crash oorleef. Nie ‘n voertuig crash of vliegtuig crash nie. Nee. My rekenaar se crash. Ja jy lees korrek – die rekenaar. Ek weet eerlik waar nie wat klink beter in Afrikaans as net plein weg crash nie….vir die tweede keer in my lewe as ‘n besigheidseienaar gebeur so iets.

Die eerste keer was 15 jaar gelede en laat ek jou vertel, ek het NIE dit hanteer soos wat ek nou dit hanteer het nie. Ek was ontsteld en het die HELE TYD gehuil! Kosbare tyd en energie vermors op goed wat BUITE my beheer was.

Die keer was anders. Dis ‘n nuwe skootrekenaar (hoe hou jy van die suiwer Afrikaans vir Laptop?), skaars 3 maande oud. Geen werkdata verloor nie, maar ander persoonlike en besigheidsdata (wat ek ewe slim besluit het om op my C: te stoor a.g.v. die sensitiwiteit van die inligting) is verlore.

Maar tog was als nie verlore nie, as dit sin maak? My e-posse is op ‘n web-gebasseerde platvorm, so ek het eintlik net BAIE OU e-posse verloor van langer as so 4 jaar terug. Laat ek eerder sê ek het nie toegang tot dit huidiglik nie. Dis seker ok want daardie inligting is nie regtig relevant nie jy weet?

Al die besigheidsdokumente is op e-pos op die web, ek moet dit net weer gaan soek en stoor soos ek altyd gedoen het. Die gapings opvul van wanneer ek die nuwe rekenaar gekry het tot nou toe. Lang en kort is, ek KAN om dit werk. Dis ‘n pyn in die nek maar dit kan gedoen word! My grootste frustrasie? Om vir 3 dae nie te kan werk nie terwyl ons data probeer afhaal van die ander rekenaar af, opstel op ‘n ander rekenaar, internet skakels van plekke wat ek gebruik vir werk probeer onthou en weer book mark op die internet, ens.

Ek vertel vir die mense wat vir ons werk, dit voel of ek ‘n nuwe werk begin het! Ek is hier, verdien ‘n salaris maar doen NIKS om by te dra om die salaris te betaal nie! Ek het omtrent verlore en magteloos gevoel, sonder enige iemand om my in ‘n rigting te stuur oor wat om te doen.

Hierdie hele week speel daar ‘n liedjie in my kop. Matthew West se Brand New. Ek kon nie verstaan WAT God vir my probeer vertel met die liedjie nie? As jy na die woorde luister, is dit, in my opinie, meer van toepassing op iemand wat hul lewe onlangs na Jesus gedraai het.

Diep binne in my gees voel ek die Here druk op my hart om dinge te doen waaroor ek vir so lank al bid. Dinge wat Hy sê MOET gebeur. Dinge waaroor ek getwyfel het oor of ek REG GEHOOR het oor wat om te doen. Hy stuur vir my 2 verse as bevestiging. Maar die een vers oorvleuel oor twee boodskappe as dit nou sin maak? Ek het 3 verskillende boodskappe by verskillende mense gekry en een van die boodskappe, toevallig die tweede een, het beide verse in gehad.

Toe ek besef wat besig was om te gebeur met die rekenaar, begin ek bid. Ek salf die ding. Ek bind die werke van die vyand, want ek het gedink dit was hy wat my probeer keer om te doen wat die Here op my hart gelê het om te doen. Ek het net nie die knoffel gebruik om die vampiere weg te hou nie (soos wat sommige mites mense probeer wysmaak)…..ek was gefrustreerd maar kalm op dieselfde tyd. Ek was nog nooit so kalm oor iets voorheen in my lewe soos wat ek die week was nie. Onthou nou – die is ‘n GROOT ding – dis my WERK LEWE wat in rookwalms opgaan voel dit vir my!

Maar, hoe meer ek oor dit dink, hoe meer besef ek dat God toegelaat het dat dit gebeur! Hy het orde vir my kom skep, want Hy het gesien ek kry dit nie reg nie! Jy sien, ek het hierdie sisteem op Outlook gehad. Dit het fantasties vir my gewerk, of so het ek gedink. Maar daardie sisteem was eintlik besig om my in die grond in te boor wat veroorsaak het dat ek nie effektief kon funksioneer nie.

Ek het steeds meerderheid van die tyd oorweldig gevoel en in ‘n dwaal….ek het steeds gehandel soos ek gedoen het in 2020 tot ‘n mindere mate. Gedoen wat ek moes om te oorleef maar nie regtig mylpale gehaal en vordering gemaak nie! Ek moet sê ek geniet nogal die Here se sin vir humor! Hy forseer my nou om op papier te skryf, veral werksgoed….ek het voorheen lysies gemaak. Maar my lysies het lysies begin kry en dit was net oral….op klein papiertjies, post it notes, ou papier. Noem dit en dit het ‘n lysie van een of ander aard op gehad!

Jy sien, wat ek besef het was, ons is so afhanklik van tegnologie om orde te skep en wanneer tegnologie ons faal, dan is ons verlore. Die Sierboom wat ek is het VERLORE gevoel en buite beheer. Ek voel hoe die Here se Gees op my hart druk om net te LUISTER wat Hy wil hê ek moet doen. “Skep orde op die manier hoe ek jou geleer het, lank terug reeds.” hoor ek die fluistering in my siel. “Skryf dit neer, merk dit af as dit klaar is. Bly gefokus op wat jy moet doen wanneer dit tyd is om die taak te doen.”

Skielik besef ek HOEKOM die liedjie die heeltyd in my kop maal hierdie week. Dis omdat God iets nuuts wil doen. Hy is besig om my te vernuwe op verskillende vlakke wat ek nie geweet het verbetering en vernuwing nodig het nie.

He’s making you new….He is making you brand new! Hoor ek die woorde draai en draai in my gedagtes. “Ek weet Here. Ek verstaan.” is my antwoord. Hier is op die vernuwing wat besig is om te gebeur! Mag God se naam ALTYD verheerlik word, veral dit wat Hy op my hart druk om te doen.

The crash…
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To write and blog

God has laid it on my heart for a while now to make this entry. At the Adorned camp that I attended beginning of September, I chatted with someone about my ability to write. As I was talking to her, the words just came out as to how it started that I could write. For those of you who do not know about the camp, read the post about Heart, Heartbeat, Rhythm.

Ok, so back to my story that I told on the camp. I spoke with Lynn Grobler from Journaling on the Way. I mentioned to her that I am convinced that my background for my work and the training that I did, gave me the advantage to be able to write. She was quite surprised when she heard that. This, together with the fact that I think my mom had this hidden talent to write and that I inherited it from her enables me to write the way that I do.

You see, my mom wrote to each of her three daughters a very personal letter on our 21st birthdays. This was so special and precious to me. We never had conversations like these in real life. It was more reduced to writing if I remember correctly. As time went on it changed to sms messages, e-mails and Whatsapps. Not always DEEP things, but things that were just dealt with easier in writing than verbally – if this makes sense what I am trying to say.

So my training as a Trainee Accountant taught me that my files should speak for themselves. Any audit file, must be able to stand on its own two feet, so to speak, without me uttering any words whatsover about that file. The file must be able to tell the reader, one with reasonable knowledge and background, why I did the tests I did and why I made the professional conclusions that I did.

There I go again sounding like an Audit Standard!! But I took this very seriously. My files can, at any time, be subject to review by the professional bodies that I belong to. Because of this, I took it very serious! Things must be done right the first time around! I also did the training to ensure that I remain relevant and up to date with changes, and also because my qualification required me to do, what felt like endless hours of training, annually.

When I started my own practice, I searched for more training. I was now the responsible person, the partner. I must ensure that everything is correct. You know what a mammoth task that is and how much uncertainty that creates within oneself? None-the-less, I found Probeta to assist with training. I often attend their training sessions, all of those which I consider to be relevant to my practice. I must admit, this too gave me the advantage that enabled me to write – the training that I received from them.

The institution to which I belong, SAICA, changed the rules surrounding training in 2020. Thank goodness for this, as this was just before the Pandemic hit the world and everything was left in turmoil! It makes life so much easier, even if we all were uncertain as to what to do and how it works. As soon as you embrace change, then it no longer overwhelms you. What I also learnt over time, is, if you are teachable then you get so much further in life. But, if you go through life Knowing it all then it gets hard. No one can teach you anything if you do not WANT to learn!

In 2021 the rules changed YET AGAIN. This time the requirement is Continuous Ethical Training over a 12 month period. Yes, I admit, I rolled my eyes at this change. I mean SERIOUSLY. Just ANOTHER thing to fit into a schedule that is already so busy and overflowing with STUFF to do. And ethics of all things? Do we as CA’s REALLY have to learn about being ethical? It is burnt into my heart to ALWAYS try to do the right thing, even if no one is watching. I still cannot understand people who do not think the way I do and act the way I do. Anyway….

This whole year, since the changes came into effect, I have been postponing this ethics thing purely because of the uncertainty surrounding it and what it entails. Probeta sends an e-mail about a twelve month program that they host and it meets the requirements of SAICA. I read the marketing material and decide THIS is what I am going to do! I am not even going to TRY to do anything continuous on my own as it is more than likely to end up in an EPIC FAIL. Recovering from that is just going to create more issues!

I also decide to take the best option that they present, the one that goes into depth about your character. I am, after all the boss and I have to KNOW things so that I can train others. I am not even going to waste my time with the first option, not that it is a waste of time if you get what I am trying to say? I need the hard core stuff you know? If I can refer to it like that!

After signing up, a month passes by before I get going with this program. Ok, three weeks after signing up, towards end of September. I start working through the material and deep inside my spirit I feel this excitement awakening in me! Seriously WHO gets excited about TRAINING of all things?

The theme? Authentic journalling. My husband laughs and says it sounds like something that woman would love to do. I roll my eyes at his comment and decide to just proceed. I committed to this thing so I have to do it. If I don’t then I am no longer valid with SAICA. I do my Tall Trees Analysis – the one where your character is identified as a certain type of tree, based on Hettie Brittz’s books Growing kids with character.

I receive my analysis back and read through it. I stand in awe and amazement of the feedback. It summarises my personality and character to the point. It is as if Hettie was sitting opposite me, doing an interview with me and summarised me in person. I go back to my report from 2019 and see that my profile has changed. “This is strange.” I think to myself. I contact Lynette Berger from Probeta via e-mail. Half concerned and amazed at the same time.

Her feedback? One’s profile can change and that is why they recommend that you do this regularly to ensure that you get to know yourself and know how to deal with certain situations that you may encounter. I start to wonder by myself WHY my profile would have changed. The answer? The Pandemic. The Pandemic that changed EVERYTHING and ALL of our lives.

This afternoon (yes on a Saturday afternoon) I watch the introductory video of Authentic journalling and as she speaks and explains things, so many more things start to make sense to me and how my blog entries actually take form and get life so to speak. You see, for me, the words start turning and moving around in my head. The concept begins THERE as a thought. But, if I do not write it out, it becomes cluttered in my brain.

It is usually then that one starts to feel overwhelmed and then you end up just staring at your computer screen not knowing WHERE to start. BUT, if you start to just make a list of what to do, you channel your thoughts into written format. Lynette describes so many things so wonderfully in that video – for those of you who have to do ethical training, it is worth the watch and you will understand what I am saying here better.

But do you know what my problem is? My lists get lists for the lists of lists of things that have to be done. Yes, you may laugh, but we ALL have lists for lists!! As Lynette describes it, the written form is the physical manifestation of something that was in your thoughts or, as I also refer to it, within your spirit.

I realise now that, 2020 was one HUGE challenge for me. I am still trying to catch up work from 2020. You see, the Boxwood tree that I am, does not like it when things are out of control. So the Pandemic just did not work for me – everything felt out of control. You get to a point where you just do the BARE MINIMUM. But the bare minimum does not necessarily fall within the quadrant that makes you function optimally.

“Quadrant?” you ask. “Yes” is my answer, “quadrant”. Lynette explains in her video that you spend your time on stuff that can be categorised into four quadrants. For those of you who have NO IDEA what I am talking about – take a page and split it into four parts. Draw a line from the top to the bottom (in the middle of the page) and again from left to right, also in the middle of the page. Each block presents a quadrant…..

Each block has a name. It is one of four – Important & urgent, Important & not urgent, Not important & urgent and lastly Not important & not urgent. If your time spent falls into the last two quadrants, it usually means that chaos rules in your life. This I can confirm – is how 2020 was for me. I was more worried about the washing that was busy piling up and the house that I almost HEARD getting dirty as everyone moved around, than what I was about getting work done. I just could not function.

God has helped me to create order by journaling on this platform. Of course there are MANY things I cannot blog about, because it is just too personal to share with the whole world. What I also realised is that, if you do not make time to share your thoughts and emotions with God in a written format, you are actually exposing yourself to gossip.

Yes, you read correctly. We all fail at some stage – we tell something quickly about something that someone did. If you do not guard against this, it becomes gossip. I realise now, that, I have to journal even more frequently to channel my thoughts, which Lynette also describes as energy, and get it out of my system so that it does not make my heart turn black and bad. I know emotions are energy and do emotions not arise from thoughts? Actually, we as human beings, are one bundle of energy that needs to be channeled correctly.

Only once we get to that point, then God can use us truly what we were placed on this earth to do. Until such time we will remain like waves in the ocean being tossed around by the wind….the long and short of a not so short post? Go an channel your energy so that you can use it in a positive manner! I am so excited about the journey that God is taking me on. I am excited about this training, because I know that I will come out the other side as a changed person.

All the glory be to God always! He gives us the talents to serve others and to help them and lead them to Him. We must sow the seeds and when the time is right, the Holy Spirit will give it water and it will germinate in the people’s lives in whom we have sown seed.

Om te kan skryf en “blog”
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Om te kan skryf en “blog”

Die Here het al lank dit op my hart gelê om hierdie inskrywing te maak. Op die Adorned kamp wat ek begin September bygewoon het, het ek met iemand gesels en soos wat ek praat, kom die woorde net uit oor hoe dit gebeur dat ek kan skryf. Vir diegene wat nie weet van die kamp nie, gaan lees gerus die inskrywing oor Heart, Heartbeat, Rhythm.

Goed, so terug by die storie wat ek op die kamp vertel het. Ek het met Lynn Grobler van Journaling on the Way gesels. Ek noem toe vir haar dat ek oortuig is dat my werksagtergrond my die voorsprong gee om te kan skryf. Sy was nogals verbaas toe ek dit gesê het. Dit, saam met die feit dat, ek dink my ma ‘n hidden talent gehad het om te skryf en ek dit by haar geërf het….

Jy sien, my ma het vir ons drie dogters elkeen op ons 21ste verjaarsdae, briewe geskryf. Dit was vir my so mooi en spesiaal, want, ons het nooit sulke gesprekke in lewende lywe gehad nie. Dit was meer in skrif gekommunikeer as ek nou reg kan onthou. Later het gesprekke ontaard in sms boodskappe, e-posse, Whatsapps. Nie noodwendig DIEP goed altyd nie, maar goed wat net vir my persoonlik makliker is om te hanteer in skrif as in lewende lywe – as dit nou sin maak wat ek hier probeer sê.

Goed, so my opleiding as ‘n Leerlingrekenmeester, het my geleer dat, my leêr vir homself moet praat. Sonder dat ek as mens ‘n woord uiter, moet my oudit leêr op sy eie twee spreekwoordelike voete kan staan. Hy moet vir die gebruiker, wat redelike kennis en agtergrond het, kan verduidelik wat my professionele opinie was en hoekom ek sekere toetse uitgevoer het en gevolgtrekkings gemaak het.

Ai, daar klink ek nou amper soos ‘n Oudit Standaard!! Maar ek het dit baie ernstig opgeneem. Omdat my leêrs ook nagesien kan word deur die professionele instansies waaraan ek behoort, het ek die erns van die saak gesien. Goed moet reg gedoen word die eerste keer! Ek het ook opleiding gedoen om te verseker dat ek relevant en op datum bly, en ook omdat my kwalifikasies hope en hope ure se opleiding elke jaar vereis het.

Toe ek my eie praktyk begin, het ek nog meer opleiding opgesoek, want nou was EK die vennoot. EK moet sorg dat alles reg is! Weet jy watter groot taak is dit en hoeveel onsekerheid skep dit? Nie te min, so kom ek by Probeta uit wat opleiding aanbetref. Ek woon gereeld hul sessies by wat van toepassing is op my praktyk en ek moet sê, DIT het my ook die voorsprong gegee om te kan skryf. Die opleiding wat ek ontvang het.

Die instansie waaraan ek behoort, SAICA, het, genadiglik in 2020 die reëls rondom opleiding verander – net op die regte tyd want dit was net voor die Pandemie alles omver kom gooi het. Dit maak die lewe vir seker makliker, alhoewel ons almal onseker was oor wat om te doen en hoe dit werk. Sodra jy verandering embrace dan is dit nie meer so oorweldigend nie. Wat ek ook geleer het met tyd is, as jy teachable is of leerbaar, dan kom jy baie verder in die lewe as wanneer jy deur die lewe gaan met ‘n alomwetende uitkyk. Niemand kan jou leer as jy nie geleer WIL word nie….

In 2021 verander die reëls ALWEER…die keer is die vereiste Continuous Ethical Training oor 12 maande. Ja, ek erken, ek het my oë gerol. Want wragties. Net NOG iets om in te pas in ‘n propvol skedule. En ethics van alle dinge? Moet ons CA’s REGTIG geleer word om eties op te tree? Dis ingebrand in my hart in om ALTYD die regte ding te probeer doen, al kyk niemand nie. Ek kan regtig nooit ander mense verstaan as hulle nie soos ek dink en optree nie. Nie te min.

So stel ek die heel jaar uit om die taak te begin en dis bloot oor die onsekerheid wat heers rondom dit. Probeta stuur ‘n e-pos oor ‘n twaalf maande program wat hulle aanbied wat aan SAICA se vereistes voldoen. Ek lees hul bemarking en besluit dat DIT is wat ek gaan doen. Ek gaan nie self oor 12 maande eers PROBEER om hierdie continuous ding aan te pak nie. Ek weet sommer op my eie gaan ek op my gesig val en dan is dit ‘n storie en ‘n half om dit reg gestel te kry.

Ek besluit toe om vir die heel beste opsie te gaan wat hul aanbied, die een wat in diepte ingaan. Ek is mos die baas en ek moet goed WEET sodat ek ander kan oplei, so dit help nie eens ek mors my tyd met die eerste opsie nie. Nie dat dit tydmors is nie, ek glo jy verstaan wat ek bedoel. Ek het die grof geskud nodig jy weet? As ek nou so daarna kan verwys!

Nou ja, een maand na ek opgeteken het vir die program, kom ek uiteindelik aan die gang. Ok, drie weke na dit, einde September. Ek begin dit aanpak en diep binne in my gees begin ek opgewonde raak oor opleiding. Seriously WIE raak opgewonde oor OPLEIDING van alle dinge?

Die tema? Authentic journalling. My man lag en sê dit klink soos iets wat vroumense van sal hou om te doen. Ek rol my oë en besluit om net aan te gaan, ek het mos nou commit tot die ding en ek moet dit doen, anders is ek nie geldig by SAICA nie. Ek doen my Tall Trees Analysis – die analise van jou karakter omgeskakel in die bome se formate gebasseer op Hettie Brittz se boeke Kweek kinders met karakter.

Ek kry my analise terug, lees deur die verslag en staan verstom. Dit som my op, tot op die punt. Dis asof Hettie oorkant my gesit het en ‘n onderhoud met my gevoer het en my opgesom het. Ek gaan terug na my verslag van 2019 en sien dat my profiel verander het. “Dis vreemd.” dink ek by myself. Ek kontak Lynette Berger van Probeta dadelik per e-pos. Half bekommerd en verbaas op dieselfde tyd.

Haar terugvoer? Mens se profiel kan verander en daarom dat jy dit gereeld moet doen om seker te maak jy ken jouself en weet hoe om werksituasies te hanteer. Ek begin toe redeneer by myself HOEKOM my profiel sou verander. Die antwoord? Die Pandemie. Die Pandemie en alles wat saam met dit gaan het ALMAL se lewens kom verander.

Vanmiddag (ja op ‘n Saterdagmiddag) kyk ek die inleidingsvideo van die Authentic journalling en soos wat sy praat en goed verduidelik, begin soveel meer goed sin maak vir my en hoe my blog inskrywings vorm vat en realiseer. Jy sien, vir my, begin die woorde rond draai in my kop. Die konsep begin DAAR as ‘n gedagte. Maar, as ek nie die gedagte neerpen nie, dan begin dit cluttered raak in my brein.

Dis dan gewoonlik wanneer mens oorweldig begin voel en dan net vir jou rekenaar se skerm begin staar en eintlik nie weet waar om te begin nie. MAAR, as jy begin om ‘n lysie te maak van dit wat gedoen moet word, kanaliseer jy jou gedagtes in geskrewe vorm. Lynette beskryf soveel goed so mooi in daardie video – vir die wat moet etiese opleiding doen, gaan kyk gerus, dan sal jy beter verstaan.

Maar weet jy wat is my probleem? My lysies begin lysies kry vir lysies van lysies se lysies wat gedoen moet word. Ja, lag lekker, ons ALMAL het lysies vir lysies! Soos Lynette dit noem, die geskrewe vorm is die fisiese manifestasie van iets wat in jou gedagtes was, of soos ek ook daarna verwys, in my gees.

Ek besef ook nou, dat 2020 vir my een GROOT uitdaging was. Ek haal nou nog werk in van 2020. Jy sien, vir ‘n Sierboompie, dis nou ek, WERK iets soos ‘n Pandemie net GLAD nie. Alles voel buite beheer. Jy kom op ‘n punt dat jy NET DIE NODIGSTE doen. Maar net die nodigste, val nie noodwendig in die kwadrant wat dit moet wees vir jou om as mens optimaal te kan funksioneer nie.

“Kwadrant?” vra jy nou. “Ja” is my antwoord, “kwadrant”. Lynette verduidelik in haar video dat jou tyd wat jy spandeer aan goed in vier kwadrante opgedeel kan word. Vir die wat nou heeltemal verlore is, vat ‘n bladsy en deel hom op in vier. Trek ‘n lyn in die middel van die bladsy van bo na onder en weer in die middel van die bladsy van links na regs. Een blokkie is ‘n kwadrant….

Elke blokkie het ‘n naam. Dis een van vier – Belangrik & dringend, Belangrik & nie-dringend, Nie-belangrik & dringend en laastens Nie-belangrik & nie-dringend nie. As jou tyd in een van die laaste twee kwadrante val, dan heers daar gewoonlik chaos in jou lewe. Hierdie kan ek beaam – dis hoe 2020 vir my was. Ek het meer bekommer oor die wasgoed wat gaan ophoop as om werk te doen en die huis wat ek kon HOOR vuil word soos wat almal rond beweeg elke dag. Ek kon net nie funksioneer nie.

Met die dat ek op my manier journal op hierdie platvorm, het die Here my gehelp om orde te skep. Natuurlik is daar BAIE goed waaroor ek nie kan blog nie, want dis net te persoonlik om met die hele wêreld te deel. Wat ek ook besef het, is dat as jy nie andersins tyd maak om dit met die Here te deel in skriftelike formaat nie, jy jouself eintlik maar blootstel aan skinder en bespreking.

Ja, jy het reg gelees. Ons almal faal gereeld – ons vertel net gou-gou ietsie van iemand wat ietsie gedoen het. As jy nie waak nie, word dit skinder. Ek besef nou, dat, ek nog meer gereeld gaan moet journal om hierdie gedagtes, wat Lynette ook as energie beskryf, uit te kanaliseer, sodat dit nie my hart verswart nie. Ek weet emosies is energie en kom emosies nie maar uit gedagtes uit nie? Eintlik is ons mense net een groot bondel energie wat reg gekanaliseer moet word.

Eers as ons op daardie punt kom, kan die Here ons werklik gebruik waarvoor Hy ons op aarde geplaas het. Tot dan, is ons maar soos golfies wat rond gewaai word deur die wind….lang en die kort van hierdie nie so kort inskrywing? Gaan kanaliseer jou energie sodat jy dit positief kan gebruik!! Ek is ongelooflik opgewonde oor hierdie reis wat die Here my op het. Ek is opgewonde oor hierdie opleiding, want ek weet, na dit, kan ek nie anders as om changed (dit klink net beter hier in Engels) anderkant uit te stap nie.

Alle eer kom altyd na God toe. Hy gee ons die gawes om ander te kan bedien en te help en te lei na Hom toe. Ons moet die saad saai, en wanneer die tyd reg is, sal die Heilige Gees dit water gee en dan sal dit ontkiem in die mense in wie se lewens ons saad gesaai het.

To write and blog