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The Ethics training – month 4 (a month to reflect on)

Back to my training, which I am trying hard to catch up (by the way). During April, which is now my month 4 for the journaling side of the ethics training, I did not get to doing what I had worked so hard to keep up and do daily for about 5 to 10 minutes.

The journaling was few and far between. On 25 April 2022 (note the impossible time of the month that I make this decision – I often wonder if that is just part of my personality type according to Tall Trees – to choose the busiest times to do things?). Ok back to the date that I decided that I had to MAKE time to sit and just catch up again on the journaling. After doing the third day’s journaling (all in one day) I realised how much I missed this part of the course. The journaling and getting my thoughts written onto paper.

At this point in time, I feel like an epic fail when it comes to my continuous ethics training, because nothing about it seems continuous. It feels like I am always and forever catching up with things that fell behind! And now the same is happening AGAIN with this training…

I did not even have time to write this piece like I normally do when I feel the inspiration coming, because it has just been busy with work, kids, school and just coping with the colder weather…coping with the cold fronts seems to be taking my energy, because it is not that easy to get up early any more.

So I decided this time around to jot down some notes that came to mind, just so that I do not forget what I want to write about. I also meant to write this article three weeks ago and not now only (actually even earlier but anyway). Now, what I can see that is busy happening, not relating to ethics at all, but rather to my blog, is that I have notebooks ALL OVER THE SHOW! I try to use one dedicated notebook for the blog prompts that I want to keep track of.

But I have a few lying around that I make different notes in (different books for different things). Some sort of order but also not really. To any outside person it will seem like chaos, but I know what is going on there. For how long, I am not sure. It is like I have this overflow of words and thoughts that need to come out and be placed into order somehow.

Many days I wonder what it would be like if writing was my job? Would I find it as satisfying as I do now or would I feel meh about it like I sometimes feel towards my day job, especially during pressure times? Man, here I lost track yet again about what I wanted to say!!

So working through month 4’s journal prompts, I realised that this was a month to reflect on. Reflecting on thoughts, statements and just things. Some of the reflecting journal prompts were like tongue twisters to me! Like that of day 13. Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. Say this one 3 times fast….

I also realised that this journaling that is incorporated into the ethics training might not seem like everyone’s cup of tea. I know I frowned upon it when I started, thinking WHAT is THIS going to help me? But, later on, I realised that I was wrong and that these journal prompts (which only starts at month 2 if I am not mistaken) are actually just things to get your thoughts going…to start thinking about life differently.

Soooooo….hopefully I will be able to catch up on some journal prompts for months 5 to 7 all in one month AND catch up on the training videos and assessments so that I can finish in the month that I am supposed to finish and have the certificates as proof that I did do continuous ethics training throughout the year… (and not have all of the certificates issued on the same day).

I know I say this every month and I truly hope that I can find a gap between the deadlines and sign off dates of financials and audits to manage this. Not even talking about juggling the family and kids in between all of this…until I write again about the next month(s) experience…thus far it has been a very satisfying journey, even if it sometimes takes a lot of time to catch up when falling behind, frustrating me, but, that is life I suppose….?

Die etiese opleiding – maand 4 (‘n maand van refleksie)
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Die etiese opleiding – maand 4 (‘n maand van refleksie)

Terug by my opleiding, wat ek so hard probeer om op te vang (net so tussen ons). Gedurende April, dis nou my maand 4 van die joernaal inskrywings, het ek nie by my daaglikse 5 tot 10 minute take uitgekom om aan te hou met dit wat ek so hard voor gewerk het om op datum te (probeer) hou nie…ek het ALWEER agter geraak!

Die joernaal inskrywings maar aan die min en dun kant, so te sê. Op 25 April 2022 (let op hoe ek onmoontlike datums en tye kies om goed te doen – ek wonder baie of dit deel is van my persoonlikheidstipe volgens Tall Trees…?). Goed so terug by my sin, op daardie datum besluit ek dat ek MOET tyd maak om net weer op te vang met alles wat verwag en vereis word. Nadat ek die derde dag se inskrywings gedoen het (alles in een dag) besef ek hoe baie ek hierdie deel van die kursus gemis het – die joernaal inskrywings en om my gedagtes aan die gang te kry.

Op hierdie tydstip, voel ek soos ‘n epic fail soos die kinders sal sê wanneer dit kom by my voortdurende etiese opleiding, want niks van dit voel vir my voortdurend nie. Ek voel of ek alewig besig is om goed op te vang wat agter geraak het! En nou gebeur dieselfde WEER met hierdie opleiding….

Ek het nie eens tyd om hierdie stuk te skryf soos ek normaalweg doen wanneer ek voel of inspirasie aan die voordeur klop nie. Dit was net BESIG tussen kinders, werk, skool en net om te cope met die kouer weer….om aan te pas met die koue voel of dit al my energie tap, want dis wragties nie meer maklik om vroeg op te staan nie.

Die keer besluit ek om maar ‘n paar nota’s in ‘n boek te skryf, soos wat hulle hul opwagting maak in my gedagtes, net om seker te maak ek vergeet nie wat ek wou sê en skryf nie. Ek het ook bedoel om die artikel al 3 weke terug te skryf en nie nou eers nie (eintlik seker vroeër maar in elkgeval). Wat ek nou sien besig is om te gebeur, niks met etiese opleiding uit te waai nie, maar eerder my blog en alles wat met dit saam gaan, is dat ek notaboeke ORAL het!! Ek probeer een gespesifiseerde notaboek gebruik vir die blog inspirasie wat ek probeer orden.

Maar ek het ‘n paar wat rondlê waarin ek verskillende nota’s maak (verskillende notaboeke vir verskillende dinge). Soort van orde maar ook seker nie regtig nie. Vir enige buitestaander sal dit soos chaos voorkom, maar ek weet wat daar aangaan. Vir hoe lank is ‘n ander vraag vir ‘n ander dag. Dis asof ek hierdie oormaat idees en woorde het wat net moet uit kom en in een of ander orde geplaas moet word.

Baie dae wonder ek hoe dit sou wees as skryf my day job was. Sou ek dit so bevredigend gevind het soos nou of sou ek meh oor dit gevoel het, soos ek soms in druk tye voel oor my day job? Liewe aarde, daar verloor ek weer heeltemal die punt wat ek wou sê!

Goed, so terug by die joernaal inskrywings – soos wat ek deur die prompts (by gebrek aan ‘n beter Afrikaanse woord) werk vir maand 4, besef ek dat dit ‘n maand is om oor te reflekteer. Reflekteer oor gedagtes, standpunte en net goed. Van die daaglikse prompts was soos ‘n tongue twister vir my! Soos die van dag 13. Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. Sê dit nou 3 keer vinnig…

Ek het ook besef dat hierdie joernaal inskrywings wat saamgestel en ingesluit is in hierdie etiese opleiding, is nou nie vir almal nie. Mense sal dalk selfs sê Dis vir die voëls en ek is nie ‘n voël nie. Ek weet ek het self gefrons aan die begin toe ek dit sien. Ek het by myself gedink HOE gaan DIT my help? Wel, ek was verkeerd en het later besef dat hierdie journal prompts (wat eers by maand 2 begin as ek nou reg onthou) eintlik maar net goed is om jou gedagtes aan die gang te kry….om anders te begin dink oor die lewe.

Soooooo….hopelik sal ek bietjie kan opvang op die gebied vir die volgende paar maande van maand 5 tot 7 toe, alles in een maand EN hopelik opvang op die opleiding videos en assesserings sodat ek kan klaar maak in die maand waarin ek veronderstel is om klaar te maak. Ek moet sertifikate as bewyse hê dat ek wel deurlopende etiese opleiding gehad het gedurende die jaar….(almal is nie veronderstel om op een dag uitgereik te word nie).

Ek weet ek sê dit elke maand en ek hoop regtig dat ek ‘n gaping gaan vind tussen die sperdatums en afteken van finansiële state, oudits en wie weet wat nog alles aan die gang is werksgewys. Nie eens te praat van al die balle wat ek in die lug probeer hou wat familie en kinders aanbetref nie….tot ek weer skryf oor die volgende maand se ervaring….tot dusver was dit ‘n baie bevredigende reis gewees, selfs al neem dit soms baie tyd om op te vang wanneer ek agter geraak het, iets wat my baie frustreer, maar, dis die lewe seker….?

The Ethics training – month 4 (a month to reflect on)
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The days of the week…

Walking past a local shop the other day, I saw an advertisement in the window (people exercising and rather advertising the fitness watch not promoting the exercise taking place) saying “There are seven days in a week and someday isn’t one of them.” Catchy and true. However. I feel I can add to that – oneday is also not one of the seven days of the week.

This phrase made me think, forced me to whip out my phone as I entered the Clicks to just jot this down to remember that I want to write about this. That is the thing with me and writing – inspiring ideas come at random times and if I do not catch the essence at that very moment, then I miss the boat with writing an entry about that!

So something I say often is “Oneday”. My Sister-from-another-Mister aka Dora knows this saying all to well. I will walk around mumbling to her, “Oneday Dora, oneday….” and then I continue the conversation. She always laughs and responds by saying “Yes Elsie, oneday…” and then we part our ways to do our jobs.

Before I noticed this advertising slogan in the shop, I remembered of a cartoon I saw before. Something that I had been wanting to write about for a while now. This slogan just inspired me and got me to writing this piece. What a mission it was to find the cartoon, but I managed to find it on the internet and include it in this post. This to me is the best way to show procrastination and delaying what you know needs to be done.

In Afrikaans we have a saying Van uitstel kom afstel and that is so true. Why are we waiting before we start to be the best versions of ourselves? What are we waiting for? Why do you want to wait for your work to be less demanding before you just start exercising? Why do you wait until the children are bigger before taking on a new project or opportunity that comes your way?

Why do we wait? Sometimes I think it is the fear of the unknown. Or perhaps the known. For years I was praying to God to let me please, pretty please, LOVE exercise. Well, let me tell you, I stopped and started exercising so many times before, I lost count. This was for about 10 years, from late 20’s to mid to late 30’s that I had this thing that Oneday I will exercise.

Guess what happened? Oneday I woke up and I realised that I was almost 40. So when am I going to start? If I do not make Oneday or Someday a part of my plan to execute in my own life, well, then it will never happen. So to get back to the fear of the (un)known. I KNOW what it feels like to exercise the first time, after not doing anything for a long time.

That feeling SUCKS let me tell you. You feel like a train hit you while running the Comrades, all in one. I think that was what held me back with truly starting with the one thing I wanted to do for so long. The other thing for me, that I want to accomplish, is to eat better. Oh man, I just LOVE food. I sometimes feel like eating the whole fridge, just because I have cravings. Let us admit this – we ALL have cravings!

And then I start to complain I am fat, like in the comic strip. And then you decide you want to make a choice to eat better and to “diet” (which is something I could never do before in any event) and then when Monday arrives, the day that you HAVE to start eating healthier, you just don’t feel like it.

Because you KNOW what it is going to be like. For 21 days you are going to struggle, craving things, being put into temptation, etc. And then, one day, you just decide THIS IS IT and you start by making small little changes, not big changes. When you look back, you will see the progress you have made, but while you are in the process, taking it one day at a time, you sometimes feel like giving up hope, because you feel you cannot do it anymore.

What ever it is that you are struggling with (these are just two of my struggles, which I still struggle with to this day, but manage better now than when I was younger), all I can say is JUST DO IT. Just start. Do not procrastinate! You will procrastinate your life away and then one day you will wake up, 20, 30 or even 40 years from now, being much older than what you are now, regretting that you postponed for so long.

Don’t go through life wanting to start Next Monday or Someday or Oneday! Start today! What are we?? Fat!!!!!! Do something about that which is making you feel fat (figuratively speaking too, not only physical) and unworthy and change that. My motto is to be the best version of myself, everyday. I don’t get it right everyday, but I surely try!

Die dae van die week…
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Die dae van die week…

Terwyl ek verby ‘n plaaslike winkel stap die ander dag, sien ek ‘n advertensie die venster (een van mense wat oefen, maar wat eerder die fiksheidshorlosie adverteer as die oefening wat die mense doen) wat lees There are seven days in a week and someday isn’t one of them. Dit was vir my catchy en waar. Ek voel egter ek kan byvoeg tot dit – ONEDAY is ook nie een van die sewe dae van die week nie.

Die slagspreuk het my laat dink, my geforseer om my foon uit my handsak te ruk soos wat ek by die Clicks instap, net om ‘n nota hiervan te maak sodat ek kan onthou waaroor dit was wat ek wou skryf. Dis die ding met my en skryf – inspirerende idees kom op die onmoontlikste tye voel dit en as ek die nie kruks van dit waaroor ek wil skryf vasvang op daardie presiese oomblik nie, vergeet ek wat dit is wat ek wou skryf!

Iets wat ek gereeld sê is “Eendag”. My Sister-from-another-Mister aka Dora ken die sê-ding van my al te goed. Ek sal rond loop en mompel vir haar “Oneday Dora, oneday….” dan sit ek die gesprek voort. Sy lag altyd en reageer deur te sê “Yes Elsie, oneday…” en dan gaan ons weer ons gang en doen ons werk.

Voor ek die advertensie met die slagspreuk gewaar het, onthou ek van ‘n strokiesprent wat ek voorheen gesien het. Iets waaroor ek vir ‘n geruime tyd al wou skryf. Die slagspreuk van die advertensie het my net geinspireer en my aan die gang gekry om die stuk te skryf. Wat ‘n storie was dit om die strokiesprent te vind! Ek het hom darem opgespoor en sluit hom in by die stuk. Dit is vir my, die beste uitbeelding van procrastination en uitstel van iets wat jy WEET gedoen moet word.

Daar is nie verniet ‘n slagspreuk wat lees Van uitstel kom afstel nie, en dis so waar!! Hoekom wag ons voor ons begin om die beste weergawes van onsself te wees? Waarvoor wag ons? Hoekom wil jy wag vir jou werk om minder demanding te wees voor jy begin met oefening? Hoekom wil jy wag tot jou kinders groter is voor jy ‘n nuwe projek of geleentheid aangryp wat jou kant toe kom?

Hoekom wag ons? Soms dink ek dis die vrees vir die onbekende. Of dalk die vrees vir die bekende? Vir jare het ek gebid en God gevra om my asseblief, groot asseblief, LIEF te maak vir oefening. Wel, laat ek jou vertel, ek het al soveel keer begin en opgehou met oefening, ek het al telling verloor. Dit was seker vir omtrent 10 jaar, van my laat 20’s tot middel tot laat 30’s wat ek hierdie ding gehad het dat ek Eendag gaan oefen.

Raai wat het gebeur? Eendag word ek wakker en besef dat ek amper 40 jaar oud was! So WANNEER gaan ek begin? As ek nie Eendag ‘n deel van my plan maak en deurvoer nie, gaan dit nooit gebeur nie. So, om terug te kom na die vrees van die (on)bekende. Ek WEET hoe dit voel om vir die eerste keer te oefen, na jy vir ‘n lang ruk niks gedoen het nie.

Daai gevoel SUCK laat ek jou vertel. Dit voel of ‘n trein jou getrap het terwyl jy die Comrades gehardloop het, alles in een. Ek dink dit was wat my terug gehou het vir so lank. Die ander ding vir my, wat ek wil bemeester, is om gesonder en beter te eet. Oh man ek is net te LIEF vir kos!! Soms voel dit vir my of ek die hele yskas kan opeet, net omdat ek cravings het. Ons kan maar dit erken – ons ALMAL het cravings een of ander tyd in ons lewe.

Dan begin ek gewoonlik kla ek is vet, soos in die strokiesprent. Dan besluit mens om ‘n keuse te maak om beter te eet en ‘n dieët te volg (iets wat ek eintlik nog nooit kon doen nie, in elkgeval, so ek probeer nie eens nie) en wanneer Maandag arriveer, die dag wat jy nou MOET gesonder eet, is jy gewoonlik nie lus nie.

En dis bloot omdat jy WEET hoe dit gaan voel. Vir 21 dae sukkel jy, cravings galore, word getempteer met allerhande ongesonde lekkernye, en so meer. En dan Eendag staan jy op en jy besluit DIS DIT en jy begin deur klein veranderinge te maak. Nie groot massiewe veranderinge nie, en, wanneer jy terug kyk, dan sien jy die vordering wat jy gemaak het, terwyl jy nog in die proses is, alles terwyl jy dit net eendag op ‘n slag vat. Soms voel mens verby moedeloos, lus om moed op te gee, want jy voel net jy kan nie aangaan nie.

Wat dit ookal is waarmee jy sukkel (hierdie is maar net twee van my goedjies waarmee ek sukkel, maar, wat ek beter bestuur as toe ek jonger was), is al raad wat ek vir jou het, JUST DO IT. Begin net. Moet nie prokrastineer nie. Jy sal jou lewe verby prokrastineer en dan Eendag word jy wakker, 20, 30 of selfs 40 jaar van nou af, baie ouer as wat jy nou is, met hope verwyt omdat jy vir so lank uitgestel het.

Moet nie deur die lewe gaan met die gedagte om Volgende Maandag of Eendag te begin nie! Begin vandag! What are we?? Fat!!!!!! Doen iets omtrent dit wat jou vet en onwaardig laat voel (spreekwoordelik gesê ook – nie net fisies nie) en verander dit. My motto is om die beste weergawe van myself te wees, elke dag. Ek kry dit nie elke dag reg nie, maar ek probeer wel bitter hard! Just do it!

The days of the week…
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For I know…

With much gratitude, I tore off the Arpil (yes you are reading correctly with a spelling mistake) page and threw THE BIGGEST MISTAKE in the dustbin. What am I talking about? My desk pad calendar, part of the Pink Feathers range that I designed and sold towards end of 2021 and beginning of 2022.

The page for April looked terrible. Curled up on the one side with dirty marks all over and pretty much what it looks like at the end of each month. My notes block was full of comments this time.

Interesting, how for years I managed to work without one and now I almost cannot function without it. Anyway, back to May’s scripture and entry.

This is probably one of my most favourite scriptures. The one for May. Where God talks directly to each and every person. Not only a select few. Everyone. His children. He knows what plans He has for us.

This gives me child-like excitement to think of this, even if I have frustrations in my life and how things just turn out and work. I do know that the plans that God has for me are PROSPEROUS and not that of failure, exhaustion and any other negative thought and word you can think of. Even if, at times, it feels as if things are not going my way.

I have been thinking about this verse and what God actually meant with this. Prosperity on earth or prosperity for the rest of our lives, including after we passed away?

I think it is for both. While we are on earth only for the blink of an eye and then also the never ending life after death. You see, we may think that we are suffering on earth, because we do not have everything that we want and because things do not happen as they should.

But, I realise again, that, we must actually look forward to dying too. The time áfter our time on earth, cannot be anything but prosperous. We are going to Heaven. To be with Him. Now I am not saying that everyone must walk around with a Slipper Lip, muttering and mumbling about everything here and just waiting to die (like my great-grandmother used to answer me when I greeted her – this is a story for another day).

No! Live life to the fullest! Address that which needs to be addressed in the Spirit, and claim that which needs to be claimed. In the process you must show people what it is to be a true Christian. Helping them to look forward to prosperous plans from God. Sometimes we as Christians, go through life without much joy, that people who are not Christians, just give us one look and then decide by themselves “No thank you! If this is what a Christian looks like, then I do not want to be one!”

At first, I typed something totally different, off topic and then I decided to delete it and to rather focus on that what God has laid on my heart about the verse. Interesting how easy and quickly we can get distracted with that which God has showed you and then you start believing a lie rather than the truth…

I always say, God ALWAYS KNOWS BETTER. Read that again. Even if everything in your life feels distorted, not at all how YOU planned it to be. Rest assured. God knows better. We as humans are ALWAYS where we should be. The Holy Spirit also whispered to me, as I move around, thinking about this entry, that we as people, place our hope, happiness and plans on people rather than on Him. Shocking but true.

Our happiness, satisfaction with life and so many other things, are determined by people – so we think. Sometimes the people we think determines our happiness is ourselves, other times it is other people. But actually that is such a wrong outlook on life – that we will only be happy if this, that and the next thing happens….

Sometimes we stay in certain situations for longer, because we do not pass the test. We fall hook, line and sinker again for that which are our challenges. We must learn to listen, trusting Him and that He will provide us with everything we need and when we need it.

We do not always understand why things do not work out the way it should. But when I look back, I choose to see God’s hand in everything. Being grateful for my own personal growth in the process. And then to look forward and wait for His perfect timing. God is always terribly on time.

The whispering in my spirit continues….I know (with the emphasis being on I – this is God speaking by the way if you lost what I am trying to say here)…not Susan knows or any other name that you can think of. No, God speaks here in the first person is it? Because it is HE who knows. Like the verse from April, I do not think there are going to be chapters and chapters about this scripture.

No, this is as simple as that. Trust Him because He knows what plans He has for me and you. Plans of prosperity. Plans to give me and you a hopeful future. Hopeful. Keep on believing, dreaming and hoping I hear the Holy Spirit’s whispering in my spirit…

Want Ek weet…
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Want Ek weet…

Met ‘n ongelooflike dankbare hart, skeur ek Arpil (jip jy lees reg met ‘n spelfout) se bladsy af en gooi die GROOTSTE FOUT in die asblik. Waarvan praat ek? My desk pad kalender, deel van die Pienk Vere reeks wat ek ontwerp en verkoop het.

April se bladsy het woes gelyk. Omgekrul aan die een kant en vuil gesmeer soos dit maar aan die einde van elke maand lyk by my. My nota’s blok was die maand vol geskribbel.

Interessant hoe ek vir jare sonder een gewerk het en nou amper nie sonder dit kan funksioneer nie. Elkgeval. Terug by Mei maand se skrif en inskrywing.

Dit is seker een van my gunsteling verse. Die een vir Mei. Waar die Here sommer so direk met elke mens praat. Nie net sekere mense nie. Almal. Sy volk. Hy weet watter planne Hy vir ons koester.

Dit maak my kinderlik opgewonde, al voel ek soms gefrustreerd met goed en hoe die lewe werk. Ek weet wel dat die Here se planne vir my VOORSPOED is en nie teëspoed nie. Al voel dit soms meer soos teëspoed as voorspoed.

Ek wonder baie oor die bybelvers en wat die Here eintlik met dit bedoel. Voorspoed op aarde of voorspoed vir die res van ons lewens, na die dood ingesluit?

Ek dink dis van beide. Terwyl ons ‘n oogwink op aarde is en dan ook die oneindige ewigheid na ons tyd op aarde. Jy sien, ons dink dalk dat ons nou suffer omdat ons nie alles het wat ons wil hê nie en omdat dinge gebeur soos dit doen.

Maar ek besef opnuut, dat ons eintlik moet uitsien om te sterf ook. Die tyd ná ons tyd op aarde kan nie anders as om voorspoedig te wees nie. Ons gaan dan Hemel toe. Na Hom toe. Ek sê nou nie almal moet soos Depressie Hessie rondloop en mor en mompel oor alles hier en eintlik maar net wag om dood te gaan nie (soos my ouma-grootjie my altyd geantwoord het as ek haar gegroet het nie – dis ‘n storie vir ‘n ander dag).

Nee! Leef voluit! Spreek aan dit wat aangespreek moet word in die Gees en eis dit wat geëis moet word. In die proses moet jy vir mense wys wat dit is om ‘n ware Christen te wees. Hulle help om uit te sien na die voorspoedige planne van God af. Soms is ons as Christene so dik-bek (by gebrek aan ‘n mooier meer ordentlike woord) dat mense wat nie Christene is nie, net een kyk vir ons gee en dan by hulself besluit “Nee dankie! As dit is hoe ‘n Christen lyk wil EK nie een wees nie!”

Ek het eers iets anders hier getik, heeltemal van die onderwerp af en besluit toe om dit uit te wis (hoe is dit vir pragtige Afrikaans?) en eintlik net meer te fokus op dit wat die Here in my hart vir my sit oor die vers. Interessant hoe maklik en vinnig mens eintlik distracted kan raak met dit wat die Here vir jou wys en dan begin jy die leuen glo…

Die Here WEET ALTYD BETER. Lees dit weer. Al voel dit hoe en wat en waar in jou lewe, glad nie soos JY beplan het dit moet wees nie. Wees gerus. Die Here weet beter. Ons as mense is ALTYD net daar waar ons moet wees. Die Heilige Gees het ook gefluister vir my, soos wat ek loop en dink oor die inskrywing, dat ons as mense, ons hoop, geluk en toekomsplanne eerder op mense plaas as Hom.

Ons geluk, tevredenheid met die lewe, en soveel ander dinge, word bepaal deur mense – so dink ons en gaan ons deur die lewe. Die mense is soms onsself en soms ander mense. Maar eintlik is dit so ‘n wan-persepsie – dat ons eers gelukkig sal wees as dit en dat en die volgende gebeur….

Soms vertoef ons langer in situasies, want ons slaag nie die toets nie. Ons val hook, line and sinker weer vir wat ookal ons uitdagings is. Ons moet leer om te luister, Hom te vertrou en dat Hy vir ons sal gee dit wat ons nodig het en wanneer ons dit nodig het.

Ons verstaan nie altyd hoekom goed nie uitwerk soos dit moet nie. Maar as ek terug kyk, kies ek om God se hand te sien in alles. Dankbaar te wees vir my eie persoonlike groei in die proses. En dan aan te hou vorentoe kyk en te wag vir Sy perfekte tydsberekening. God is always terribly on time.

Die fluistering in my gees hou aan… Ek weet…. (klem op die Ek in die sin – dis nou die Here wat hier praat as jy dalk nie volg nie) nie Sannie weet of enige ander naam wat jy aan kan dink nie. Nee, die Here spreek hier, in die eerste persoon is dit? Want dis HY wat weet. Soos met April se skrif vers dink ek nie hier gaan hoofstukke en hoofstukke wees oor die skrif nie.

Nee, dis so eenvoudig soos dit. Vertrou Hom want Hy weet watter planne Hy vir my en jou koester. Planne van voorspoed en nie van teëspoed nie. Planne om my en jou ‘n hoopvolle toekoms te gee. Hoopvol. Hou aan met glo, droom en hoop hoor ek die Heilige Gees se fluistering in my binneste…

For I know…
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Worrier or Warrior…. which one are you?

The other day I read a Bible plan on the application on my phone, something about being a worrier. That got me thinking. So much so that I COMPLETELY forgot to finish reading the article!

Back to being a worrier. I immediately got what they were implying. A worrier is someone that worries constantly, day in and day out. I then started this conversation with God in my head like I always do.

I don’t recall what was said from my side but just as I said Worrier I got a counter-offer so to speak from the Holy Spirit. I got the word Warrior. Now when you say both out loud they sound the same but they have such different meanings. Such words are Homophones are they not?

Of course it was me and Google again. The first attempt to find pictures for the two words failed and I was almost deflated that my blog entry will have a void. Luckily I tried again and managed to get what I was looking for.

Finding the correct images, was a challenge. But I managed to find what I perceive to be a correct reflection of the image and idea I had in my mind. Now this brings me to the next question. Which one are you? Worrier or warrior? You see, I don’t think God called us to be worriers. He called us to be warriors.

For those of you who do not know this yet – we, as humans, have been in a spiritual war ever since the beginning of time. Ephesians 6 tells us more about this and what we have to do to stay standing. The more I think about that scripture about the armour of God (typical of what a warrior would wear going to war and to fight a battle) the more it makes sense why Paul explained it like that.

The helmet of salvation – we have to protect our thoughts. What ever goes on in your mind will start becoming your actions and this will start changing your character…the devil is constantly trying to take over our thoughts because that is all he can do.

Breastplate of righteousness – this is my favourite piece of armour (if I can have a favourite). This is what I stand for and what God showed me the aprons that are sold on my online shop, also mean. Guarding your heart. Always being righteous, true, not false and deceitful.

Shield of faith – what else can keep away the lies that the devil tries to tell us daily? We must have faith that God WILL come through for us, that He is for us. Sword of the word of God (the Bible) – if we KNOW the truth that is contained in the Bible, we can destroy any lies and attacks thrown our way in this war. Remember – the character of the devil is that of a liar. He will bombard you with missiles called LIES. Hoping that they will reach your heart and thoughts causing you to explode into a million irreparable pieces.

Belt of the truth – oh man. This is HUGE. How many times do we tell half truths daily? Half truths are LIES! Do not tell the client that you have started with something when you have not even taken the file from the cabinet. Off topic – this makes me think of someone I worked for once, in a corporate environment. She once told me that I am too truthful. My word! Can anyone ever be too honest and truthful? Is that not what God expects from us? To tell the truth always?

Shoes of the willingness to spread the good news of Jesus – now this too I think is a favourite of mine! Actually the whole armour, but this one also stands out. What are you doing, when you walk around on this earth, to spread the word of God? Do your words AND deeds show that you are a child of God? Or do you say one thing and do another that causes doubt amongst people about your relationship with God?

Can people see that you are a child of God without you saying much? Are you telling them about what He has done for you? Are you giving your testimony of how He has changed your life for the better? Or are you doing a shady deal, under the table, cash, so that no one has to pay VAT? Or do you give your word that you will do something and then never do it? Do you go on luxurious holidays while you owe the whole world money? Or do you spend more time with other people and in the process neglect your own family?

With that being said, because I think that is a debate for another day… but… did you notice that you do not put on anything to protect your back? Have you thought about this and why? I have! It is because God has your back. He protects you from behind…. So which one are you? A worrier or a warrior? What are you choosing today? Are you going to let the devil bombard you with lies while you are a worrier, sitting in a corner? Or are you going to be ready for the battle like a warrior?

“Worrier” of “Warrior”… watter een is jy?
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“Worrier” of “Warrior”… watter een is jy?

Die opskrif is in Engels, bloot by gebrek aan ‘n soortgelyke standpunt in Afrikaans…maar terug by wat ek wou sê – die ander dag het ek ‘n Bybel plan gelees op my foon (in Engels), waar hulle iets gepraat het van ‘n worrier. Dit het my laat dink. Soveel so dat ek HEELTEMAL vergeet het om die artikel klaar te lees!

Terug by om ‘n worrier te wees. Ek het dadelik gesnap wat hulle bedoel en impliseer het. ‘n Worrier is iemand wat konstant bekommerd is, dag in en dag uit. Toe begin ek hierdie gesprek met die Here, soos ek altyd maak.

Ek kan nie onthou wat ek van my kant af gesê het nie, maar toe ek sê Worrier, kry ek, so te sê onmiddellik ‘n teen-aanbod, van die Heilige Gees af. Ek kry toe die woord Warrior. Nou wanneer jy beide hardop sê, klink hulle dieselfde maar hul betekenisse is so wyd versprei van mekaar. Ons noem dit mos homofone in Afrikaans doen ons nie?

Natuurlik was dit alweer ek en tannie Google. Die eerste poging om die prentjies vir die woorde op te soek was ‘n ramp en ek was amper in sak en as oor die stuk wat ek wou skryf, want dit sou nou voel of die inskrywing ‘n lugleemte in het. Gelukkig probeer ek weer en kry toe dit waarna ek soek.

Die prentjies was ‘n uitdaging. Maar, ek het gevind, wat ek voel, die idee wat in my kop was korrek deurgee. Nou dit bring my by die volgende vraag – watter een is jy? ‘n Worrier of ‘n Warrior? Jy sien, ek dink nie God het ons geroep om worriers te wees nie. Hy het ons geroep om warriors te wees.

Vir diegene wat dit nog nie weet nie, ons as mense, is in ‘n geestelike oorlog sedert die begin van tyd. Efésiërs 6 vertel ons meer oor dit en wat ons moet doen om staande te bly. Hoe meer ek dink oor die skrif in die Bybel van die wapenrusting van God (tipies wat ‘n warrior dra as hy oorlog toe gaan om te gaan baklei), hoe meer maak dit sin hoekom Paulus dit so verduidelik het.

Die helm van verlossing – ons moet ons gedagtes beskerm. Wat ookal in ons gedagtes aangaan, gaan ons karakter begin verander… die duiwel is konstant besig om ons gedagtes te probeer oorneem, want dis al wat hy kan doen.

Borsharnas van geregtigheid – hierdie is my gunsteling deel van die wapenrusting (as mens nou ‘n gunsteling kan hê). Dit is waarvoor ek staan en wat God my gewys het die voorskote, wat ek op my aanlyn winkel verkoop, ook beteken. Bewaar jou hart. Wees altyd righteous (dit klink net beter in Engels hier), opreg en nie vals en misleidend nie.

Skild van geloof – wat anders kan die leuens van die duiwel (wat hy daagliks vir ons vertel) afweer? Ons moet vertroue en geloof hê in God en dat Hy sal deur kom vir ons en dat Hy vir ons is. Swaard van die Gees van God (die Bybel) – as ons die waarheid WEET wat in die Bybel vervat is, kan ons enige leuens en aanvalle wat na ons gegooi word vernietig. Onthou – die karakter van die duiwel is dit van ‘n leuenaar. Hy sal jou bombardeer met missiele genaamd LEUENS. In die hoop dat dit jou hart sal tref en jou in ‘n miljuisend, onherstelbare stukke sal breek.

Gordel van die waarheid – o my jitte. Die is GROOT. Hoeveel keer ‘n dag vertel mens halwe waarhede? Halwe waarhede is LEUENS! Moet nie vir die kliënt vertel dat jy reeds met iets begin het as jy nog nie eens die leêr uit die kas gehaal het nie. Van die onderwerp af – ek het eenkeer vir iemand gewerk, in ‘n korporatiewe omgewing. Sy het eenkeer vir my gesê ek is te eerlik. Regtig? Kan iemand TE EERLIK wees? Is dit nie wat God van ons verwag nie? Om altyd die waarheid te praat nie?

Skoene om die bereidwilligheid van die evangelie van Jesus te verkondig. Sjoe, ek raak altyd uitasem as ek dit sê en lees. Nou die is ook een van my gunstelinge! Eintlik die hele wapenrusting, maar die een staan ook vir my uit. Wat doen jy wanneer jy oor hierdie aarde wandel, om die woord van God te versprei? Wys jou dade EN woorde dat jy ‘n kind van God is? Of sê jy een ding en doen jy ‘n ander wat mense laat twyfel oor jou en jou verhouding met God?

Kan mense sien dat jy ‘n kind van God is sonder dat jy veel praat? Vertel jy vir hulle wat Hy vir jou gedoen het? Is jy besig om jou getuienis te gee van hoe Hy jou lewe vir die beter verander het? Of doen jy ‘n skelm deal onder die tafel, kontant, sodat niemand BTW hoef te betaal nie? Of gee jy jou woord vir iemand dat jy iets sal doen en kom dit nie na nie? Of is jou prioriteite verkeerd? Gaan hou jy luukse vakansies terwyl jy die wêreld geld skuld? Of spandeer jy soveel meer tyd met ander mense en skeep jou huisgesin af?

Dit daar gelaat want ek is seker dis ‘n debat vir ‘n ander dag….maar…het jy agter gekom dat jy niks op jou rug sit nie? Het jy al daaroor gewonder hoekom dit so is? Ek het! Dit is omdat God ons van agter beskerm. So watter een is jy? ‘n Worrier of ‘n Warrior? Wat kies jy vandag? Gaan jy toelaat dat die duiwel jou bombardeer met leuens terwyl jy worry en in ‘n hoekie sit? Of gaan jy reg staan vir die oorlog soos ‘n ware warrior?

Worrier or Warrior…. which one are you?
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The spelling mistake

For 11 days of April, I looked at my desk pad on a daily basis, rather often I must say, missing the spelling mistake. I used it, made notes, drew lines through the dates as the time went on and life was just beautiful and wonderful.

I wondered whether God kept my eyes closed until the day after my birthday, just so that I could enjoy the day before having to deal with this issue. On the 12th of April (the day after my birthday), my eyes see the spelling mistake. It reads Arpil 2022 and not April 2022 like it is supposed to. The world starts spinning around me, I feel how all colour and life is drained from my face, even my mouth starts to dry up.

I sit with my hands in my hair, thinking HOW DID I MISS THIS? Do you know how many times I read through it, reviewed it? I even got two more pairs of eyes to help me check it. And we all missed it!

The next moment it is as if Critique is waiting for me around every corner, like a shady ruthless journalist, trying to expose a scandal. The questions are endless. How could you miss such a big mistake? Are you sure you checked it? What about the people that PAID you for the desk pad? What are you going to tell everyone? Are there not more mistakes in the rest of the year? What about the items that you blessed people with? What are THEY going to think about this?

I try to answer the questions that are fired at me, like shots being fired in a serious war. I dodge, duck and dive so that I am not hurt in the process. I am close to tears, feeling like everything that came from God’s hand to mine is going up in flames.

Of course the devil came and tried to tell me more lies. Like that I did not hear God correctly and clearly about the Pink Feathers range. With that, I was also told that having a blog is actually very stupid. A snotty comment is left by him – Who is interested in reading about your life and experiences?

All the lies were marching around in my mind. At first I kept quiet and did not tell anyone anything. Silently I was praying that NO ONE ELSE saw the spelling mistake. Then I could not hold it in anymore. I had to share it with SOMEONE. Coincidently, a friend of mine (who is also a client) phoned me. We chatted about the work and then I blurted out my mistake. Just like that. Off topic and out of the blue (so typical of how I am).

She laughed and encouraged me in the way that only that red-headed friend of mine can do. A few days later I get the courage to show another person, I even asked my housekeeper if she can see the mistake, showed a cousin on my husband’s side and so it went on. It was hilarious to see everyone’s reactions, because they took it very seriously.

With narrowed eyes they started to read through the page, searching for the error. At first no one saw it. Then I encouraged them, look CLOSELY. It is not in the fine print. Then they see it. Some of them look at me with wide eyes, others laugh, others put their hands over their mouths in unbelief.

But everyone had the same reaction – ARPIL! Some time after I spotted the mistake, I got the courage to show my husband. He too did not see it immediately. Then he saw it, grinned and shook his head in unbelief.

At that point I was still on the route of self-punishment, trying to dodge the shady journalist. What are the people going to think of me? Are they going to tell everyone that my products are of poor quality and then I am going to sit with crates full of stock that I can do nothing with? Those are the thoughts that tried to set up camp in my mind. Somewhere, after sharing the mistake with my husband, I got an idea.

I tell my husband (or did he tell me? I don’t know the difference some days, because our thoughts and words are so intertwined and we just think the same) maybe I should make a competition of the error? Giving away a notebook as a prize? In the passing of each other, we had a conversation and I heard him say That is not a bad idea. I immediately start working on a design for my new campaign on Canva and decide to create two categories for winners – seeing as I told some people of the spelling mistake, not being able to include them in the competition.

Well, the rest is, as they say, history. People shared my post and liked it on Facebook and Instagram. A few other people tagged some people and so the process started. I purposefully stayed off social media, because the first day after starting the competition, I found myself checking what was going on every few minutes.

Then I got frustrated if people do not respond and reacted quick enough, irritation started to kick in when I saw that my post’s reach were not to my satisfaction. Then I feel the gentleness of the Holy Spirit, working on me on the inside, whispering to my spirit. Stop going on to social media the whole time. It steals your time. Focus on your work. I will sort out the rest.

My goodness, after I made this decision, it was a bit tough not to go onto social media, like I did every morning. I just visited my page to post more advertisements about the competition and then I went off again, not looking at reactions or comments at all.

It was such a feeling of freedom to be off social media, I cannot describe it. In my opion, I was not THAT active on Social Media. Or so I thought….I did not post something everyday, I just went to my blog’s page more often than my own page, because this is my method of advertising and spreading God’s word.

But then I started to look at my phone’s statistics about the time spent on what application and then I got a fright. BECAUSE….what I thought was only 5 or 10 minutes, was actually longer….I recon this is a discussion for another day…

Back to the spelling mistake…thankfully God saved me from another mistake. Earlier this year, when I designed new notebooks, I made a BIG OOPS on one of the English notebooks. On the front it read Noteboek and not Notebook. I placed the order with the printers one Friday to start preparing my order.

The Saturday morning, I woke up anxiously with something pressing hard on my heart. There is a spelling mistake on one of my notebooks! I sit up straight, early the morning, around half past five. I reach for my phone, checking the designs (which I had available electronically there too). True as Bob, there is a mistake on the one English notebook. This to me was AMAZING that God showed me exactly where the mistake was, it did not take me long to find it.

None the less, God saved me from a much bigger mistake and OOPS that day, because the outside of a notebook is not something that you use for a month and then tear off and throw away like the pages of a desk pad.

With a very grateful heart I want to close off. No one of us are perfect, we all make mistakes, even mistakes that one pays money for. That is ok. God, once again, took something bad and turned it into something good and beautiful! Congratulations to the winners of the notebooks! May God bless everything that is written in those notebooks, like only He can.

Die spelfout
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Die spelfout

Vir 11 dae van April kyk ek na my tafelkalender (of desk pad soos ons almal dit maar eintlik noem) en ek mis net heeltemal die spelfout. Ek gebruik hom, maak nota’s, trek dae dood soos wat die tyd aanbeweeg en die lewe is ‘n spreekwoordelike lied.

Ek dink die Here het my oë toegehou vir die fout, net sodat ek ‘n lekker verjaarsdag kon hê. Want, die 12de April (die dag na ek verjaar het) vang my oog die spelfout. Dit lees Arpil 2022 en nie April 2022 soos dit veronderstel is om te wees nie. Die wêreld begin om my draai, ek voel hoe ek bleek raak, my mond word selfs droog.

Ek sit met my hande in my hare en dink by myself HOE HET EK DIT GEMIS? Weet jy hoeveel keer het ek dit nagesien? Selfs nog 2 pare oë gekry om te help proeflees. En ons almal het dit gemis!

Die volgende oomblik is dit asof Kritiek my om elke hoek en draai probeer voorkeer soos ‘n shady genadelose joernalis wat ‘n skandaal oopvlek. Die vrae is eindeloos. Hoe kon jy so ‘n groot fout gemis het? Is jy seker jy het dit nagegaan? Wat van die mense wat jou BETAAL het vir die desk pad? Wat gaan jy vir almal sê? Is daar nie dalk nog foute later die jaar nie? Wat van die wat jy mense mee geseën het? Wat gaan HULLE van dit dink?

Ek probeer die vrae wat op my gevuur word soos skote wat in ‘n ernstige oorlog geskiet word, antwoord. Ek koes sodat ek nie in die proses stukkend geskiet word nie. Ek is na aan trane, dit voel of alles wat ek voel uit God se hand na my toe kom, opgaan in vlamme.

Natuurlik kom die duiwel en probeer nog ‘n paar leuens vir my vertel. Soos dat ek eintlik verkeerd gehoor het by die Here oor die hele Pienk Vere reeks. Saam met dit word ek vertel dat ek eintlik maar simpel is om ‘n blog te hê. Wie stel nou eintlik belang in jou lewe en jou ervarings? Hoor ek die vyand se snedige kommentaar.

So draai die leuens in my kop al in die rondte. Ek bly eers stil en sê vir niemand iets nie. Bid stilweg dat NIEMAND anders die fout ontdek nie. Toe kon ek nie meer nie, ek moes net met IEMAND deel en toevallig bel ‘n vriendin (wat ook ‘n kliënt is) my. Ons gesels oor die werk en daar laat val ek die hele sak patats net so. Off topic en uit die bloute uit (soos wat ek maar maak).

Sy lag en bemoedig my, op die manier wat net hierdie rooikop kan doen. ‘n Paar dae later skraap ek moed bymekaar en wys vir nog iemand, vra my bediende om te kyk of sy dit kan sien, wys ‘n niggie aan my man se kant, en so gaan dit aan. Dis vrek snaaks om almal se reaksies dop te hou, want hulle vat dit ernstig.

Hulle oë gaan sommer op skrefies soos wat hulle die fynskrif deursoek en fynkam. Eers kyk hulle en sê hulle sien dit nie. Dan por ek hulle aan, kyk MOOI. Dis nie in die fyn skrif nie. Dan sien hulle dit. Sommige se oë rek groot, ander lag, ander slaan hul hande oor hul monde in verbasing.

Maar almal het dieselfde reaksie – ARPIL! Iewers na ek die fout gesien het, besluit ek om maar die moed bymekaar te skraap en my man te wys. Hy sien dit ook nie dadelik nie. Toe hy dit sien, grinnik hy net en skud sy kop in ongeloof.

Ek was natuurlik nog al die pad op self-punishment se roete, probeer die shady joernalis ontduik. Wat gaan die mense van my dink? Hulle gaan vir almal vertel hoe swak die produkte is en dan gaan ek met kratte vol voorraad sit en niks mee kan doen nie. Dis die gedagtes wat toe nou weer probeer tent opslaan by my. Iewers, na ek die fout met my man gedeel het, kom daar ‘n gedagte by my op.

Ek sê vir my man (of het hy dit vir my gesê? Ek weet nie aldag nie want ons gedagtes en woorde is so ineen verstrengel soms en ons dink so dieselfde), miskien moet ek ‘n kompetisie van dit maak? ‘n Notaboek as prys gee. So in die verbygaan praat ons met mekaar en ek hoor hom sê Dis nie ‘n slegte idee nie. Nou ja, toe laat ek nie gras onder my voete groei nie. Ek spring weg en ontwerp ‘n ding op Canva en besluit om twee kategorieë te skep vir wenners – siende dat ek die spelfout uit die mou gelaat het vir sommige mense en dus hulle nie kon insluit in die kompetisie nie.

Nou ja, die res is geskiedenis, mense het my post geshare en gelike op Facebook en Instagram. ‘n Paar mense het ander getag en so het die proses sy gang gegaan. Ek het doelbewus van sosiale media af gebly, want die eerste dag na ek die kompetisie begin het, het ek myself gekry dat ek elke paar minute gaan kyk het wat aangaan.

Dan raak ek frustreerd as mense nie vinnig genoeg reageer nie en as ek sien my post het nie ‘n reach van genoeg mense soos ek nou dink dit moet wees nie. Ek voel hoe die Heilige Gees sagkuns binne my werk en fluister. Hou op om heeltyd op sosiale media te gaan. Dit steel jou tyd. Fokus jy op jou werk. Ek sal sorg vir die res.

Liewe land, na ek die besluit geneem het, was dit nogals moeilik om nie terug te gaan soos ek ouder gewoonte elke oggend gedoen het nie. Ek het net opgegaan om nog advertensies te post en dan weer afgegaan, glad nie gekyk na die reaksies en kommentaar nie.

Dit was so bevrydend om van sosiale media af te wees, ek kan dit nie beskryf nie. Ek was nie, in my opinie, so aktief op Sosiale Media nie. So het ek gedink… Ek het mos nie elke dag iets gepost nie, net my blog se bladsy het so bietjie meer aandag geniet, want dis maar my metode om te adverteer en God se woord te versprei.

Toe ek begin om na my foon se statistieke te kyk van die tyd wat op watter toepassings (hoe is dit nou vir ‘n ordentlike Afrikaanse woord?) spandeer was, toe skrik ek. WANT….wat ek gedink het was net 5 of 10 minute was toe nou eintlik langer…ek reken ook hierdie is ‘n bespreking vir ‘n ander dag…

Terug by die spelfout…die Here het my genadiglik van ‘n ander blaps gered. Toe ek vroeër die jaar die nuwe notaboeke ontwerp het, het ek ‘n groot OEPS gemaak op die een Engelse een. Dit het voorop gelees Noteboek en nie Notebook nie. Ek het die Vrydag die bestelling by die drukkers geplaas om te begin druk.

Die Saterdagoggend word ek met ‘n beklemming op my hart wakker. Daar is ‘n spelfout op een van die notaboeke! Ek vlieg regop, dit was nog vroeg, half ses die oggend. Ek gryp my foon en kyk na die ontwerpe (wat ek elektronies hier ook tot toegang het). Wragties, die fout is op die een engelse een. Dit was net AMAZING vir my dat die Here my presies gewys het waar die fout was, dit het my nie lang geneem om dit te kry nie.

Nie te min, die Here het my van ‘n baie groter blaps en oeps gered daardie dag, want die buitekant van die notaboek is nou nie iets wat jy net vir ‘n maand gebruik en dan afskeur en weggooi soos die desk pad se bladsye nie.

Met ‘n dankbare hart sluit ek af. Niemand van ons is perfek nie, ons almal maak foute, selfs foute waarvoor ons geld betaal. En dis ok. Die Here het weereens iets slegs gevat en dit omskep in iets goed en mooi! Baie geluk aan die wenners van die notaboeke! Mag die Here elke ding wat daarin neergepen word seën soos wat net Hy kan!

The spelling mistake
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Practice makes Perfect…

They say practice makes perfect. First of all – who is this “they” that have all these sayings? You know, when you have this conversation with people and somewhere in a sentence it is said “They say…” followed by some or another fact, that does not always make sense. These clever people that do not live on earth it seems to me.

So I want to contest this statement. We are humans and NOTHING we do will ever be perfect. So are we not lying when we say practice makes perfect?

I say, practise creates endurance, excellence and improvement. The reason why I say this is, looking back on where Beroepsvrou started one year ago (23 March 2022 marked the first year of my blog), I stand in absolute amazement at what God has done for me, how I have grown as a person and how the blog and everything that goes with it has evolved over such a short time.

Yes, you may go and read my very first entry….just to compare and see what I am going on about… When I look at the layout I realise I know more now than what I did then. My eyes are trained better to do better layouts, etc. It also started on Facebook directly and not this platform.

Wow, wow and again wow. All I can say is thank God that He guided me through this process and that I was open for improvement so to speak. When I look at the first few entries that were on Facebook first, I can only grin and thank God for the electronic trail that has been left for me to reflect on.

You see. Sometimes you have to just start somewhere. Do not wait until you have it all figured out and planned perfectly. Nothing will ever be perfect, especially when you start. Just go with the flow and roll with the punches. That is what I did here with Beroepsvrou. I let God guide me all the way.

Listening to my instincts, reacting impulsively to my ideas (sometimes with a bit of remorse after realising WHAT I had committed to) and then easing into it (not quite as simple as that, but you get what I am trying to say here) letting God shape me and form me…taking on what seemed impossible but that which turned out to be more than possible with His help of course.

The moral of this story? Just keep on keeping on. If it is what God wants you to do, He will make a way. He will fight the fight for you. And then you can sing like Dory from Finding Dory sang (yes I have watched it with the kids) Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming……

That is also why I chose the scripture that is on the notebooks. The scripture that God confirmed to me, more than once, when Doubt was trying to dig a whole as big as the one in Kimberley, in my mind. God is busy doing something new. He is making a path in an economical desert. He is letting rivers come forth when it feels like the Pandemic-sun is scorching away, letting businesses dry out like plants that cannot withstand the desert heat.

Just keep swimming…..swimming, swimming….I feel the words swimming through my mind just like Dory swam through the sea looking for her parents….

Practice makes Perfect…soos hulle in Engels sê…
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Practice makes Perfect…soos hulle in Engels sê…

In Engels is daar ‘n gesegde – Practice makes perfect. Eerstens wil ek weet – wie is hierdie “hulle” waarna altyd verwys word? Jy weet, wanneer jy met iemand praat en die persoon sê “Hulle sê…” gevolg deur een of ander uitlating wat nie altyd sin maak nie. Sulke slim mense wat klaarblyklik nie op aarde woon nie, voel dit vir my!

So ek wil hierdie spreekwoord of standpunt (nie seker hoe om daarna te verwys nie?) teenstaan. Ons is almal mense en NIKS wat ons ooit doen SAL perfek wees nie. So jok ons nie vir onsself as ons sê practice makes perfect nie?

Ek sê, oefening kweek en skep deursettingsvermoë, excellence (by gebrek aan ‘n beter Afrikaanse woord) en verbetering. Die rede hoekom ek dit sê, is, wanneer ek terugkyk na waar Beroepsvrou was een jaar gelede (23 Maart 2022 merk die eerste bestaansjaar van die webjoernaal), staan ek net in absolute verwondering oor wat God vir my gedoen het, hoe ek as ‘n individu gegroei het (en alles wat met dit saam gaan) en hoe die hele ding verander het, skielik en oor so ‘n kort tydjie.

Ja, jy kan gerus my heel eerste inskrywing lees…net om seker te maak waaroor ek nou hier aangaan. Wanneer ek terug kyk na hoe dit gelyk het, besef ek dat ek vir seker nou meer weet as wat ek toe geweet het. My oë is beter geoefen om die uitleg beter te laat lyk, en so meer. Dit het ook eers direk op Facebook begin en nie op hierdie platform nie.

Wow, wow en weer wow. Al wat ek kan sê is dankie Here dat Hy my gelei het deur die proses en dat ek myself oopgestel het vir verbetering. Wanneer ek terug kyk na die eerste paar inskrywings, wat eers op Facebook was, kan ek net glimlag en die Here dank vir die elektroniese spoor wat vir my gelos was om op te reflekteer.

Jy sien, soms moet jy net IEWERS begin. Moet nie wag tot jy alles beplan en uitgewerk het nie. Niks gaan ooit eksie perfeksie wees nie. Go with the flow, ry die spreekwoordelike golf. Dis wat ek gedoen het met Beroepsvrou. Ek het dat God my lei al die pad.

Ek het geluister vir my instinkte, impulsief gereageer op my idees (soms met spyt na ek besef het WAARVOOR ek myself ingelaat het) en dan sit ek amper agteroor (nie heeltemal nie want dit was nie so eenvoudig nie, maar jy verstaan wat ek probeer sê) en laat die Here my vorm en maak….om goed aan te pak wat onmoontlik voorgekom het, maar wat meer as moontlik uitgedraai het, met Sy hulp natuurlik.

Die doel van die storie? Hou aan om aan te hou. In Engels klink dit beter. Just keep on keeping on. As dit is wat die Here wil hê jy moet doen sal Hy ‘n pad maak. Hy sal vir jou veg. En dan kan jy sing soos Dory van Finding Dory (ja ek het dit saam met my kinders gekyk) Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming……

Dit is ook hoekom ek die skrif vers gekies het wat op die notaboeke verskyn. Die Here is besig om iets nuuts te doen. ‘n Pad in ‘n ongangbare ekonomiese woestyn te maak. Riviere te laat uitspruit wanneer dit voel of die Pandemie-son besighede laat opdroog en leeg suig soos plante wat nie bestand is teen die woestyn hitte nie.

Just keep swimming…..swimming, swimming….swem die woorde deur my gedagtes soos wat Dory deur die see geswem het op soek na haar ouers….

Practice makes Perfect…
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The joy…

The joy always comes in the morning. Words that I tell myself often and I think purely it is because someone else said it to me when I was younger. Perhaps my mother? A few years ago I realised that this was from God’s word these words, out of scripture.

This month the scripture is Psalms 30:5 and the essence of that scripture is joy. You see, since 2020 it was as if my joy had been stolen by the enemy. Before then too, but since 2020, it was almost amplified if I can use that word here. More intense.

I know at some stage during 2020 I felt like I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!! and all that, while I was at home the whole time. Did anyone else also feel like that? I felt like I was in a jail of some sort. The sword of uncertainty hanging over our heads the whole time. Which way is this Pandemic going to go? Are we going to fall ill? Are my loved ones going to fall ill? Will I still be able to generate income in spite of the Pandemic?

What is the economy going to look like? The previous Pandemic was followed by the Great Depression. Are we also going to experience something like this in our lifetime? How do we handle this? The questions ran around in my mind, leaving a path of sadness and destruction. Almost like a footpath that has been walked on over and over, where the grass does not want to grow anymore.

Many mornings I struggled to find my joy in 2020 and even in 2021. Everything was just too much at times. It was as if the lack of joy was just there, day in and day out. Did others also feel like this? Or was I the only one? I have been through tough times during the Pandemic. I also know that I am not the only one that struggled during this time.

Something that I do love is, that, when I am at my lowest low, I feel the closest to God. It is as if I can hear His voice more clearly. I still remember one day, where I was sitting in tears, behind my computer, trying to tell and explain to my husband how I feel. I struggled to find the words to explain to him what I was feeling and experiencing inside of me.

The next moment, we hear a song playing on Spotify. It was as if God just placed the words there so that my husband can hear it. Obviously the tears were more as I listened to the song. It felt as if God was speaking to me directly, in an audible verbal form.

I cannot explain how, what or where. But, after that song, my joy came back. It was as if my spirit calmed down, because she knew God sees and hears EVERYTHING. He knows my heart, He knows what makes me happy and sad.

At this present day, I do not enjoy it that much to listen to that song. Probably because I am not at THAT low place anymore. But, when I struggle, feeling worn out, this is the song that I like to play over and over and listen to.

God is so good and wonderful to us as people. May we always remember, when we are on our lowest low, that God is there. It is so true what David wrote about – even when I go through the valley of death, there is God. I am sure I am not quoting the words correctly, but I am sure you understand what I am trying to say here.

I also feel in my spirit that April’s scripture will only have one entry. Purely because it is very simple. Just keep on looking for God in everything, even if you feel you are at your lowest of low level in your life. SEARCH for Him. He is everywhere and if you start searching you will surely find Him. This too is out of scriptures and I can confirm this from my own experience. I choose to listen to God’s voice and to search for Him.

I see the tears sitting on your cheeks. I know you’re tired, fall now to sleep. Stop fighting so hard, it’s time to surrender. Raise your white flag, and always remember. Your heart will feel lighter, everything will be brighter, find peace in knowing that all will be well in the morning….I hear the song’s words play and I think to myself, it is true. Everything will be better in the morning!

Die vreugde…
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Die vreugde…

The joy always comes in the morning. Woorde wat ek gereeld vir myself sê en ek dink bloot dis omdat iemand anders dit vir my gesê het toe ek jonger was. Dalk my ma? Ek het tot ‘n hele paar jaar gelede nie besef dis skriftuurlik nie.

Hierdie maand se skrif is Psalms 30:6 en handel juis oor die vreugde. Jy sien, sedert 2020 is dit asof my vreugde al hoe meer gesteel was deur die vyand. Voor dit ook, maar dit voel regtig vir my, sedert 2020, is dit amper amplified as ek nou daardie woord kan gebruik. Meer intens.

Ek weet ek het op ‘n kol in 2020 gevoel EK WIL NET HUIS TOE GAAN!! en dit alles terwyl ek heeltyd by die huis was. Het enige iemand anders ook so gevoel? Ek het gevoel of ek in ‘n tronk of iets van ‘n aard was. Die swaard van onsekerheid wat oor mens se kop die heeltyd hang. Watter kant toe gaan die Pandemie gaan. Gaan ons siek word? Gaan my mense in my huis siek word? Gaan ek nog kan inkomste genereer ten spyte van die Pandemie?

Hoe gaan die ekonomie lyk? Die vorige Pandemie was gevolg deur die Groot Depressie. Gaan ons ook so iets ervaar en beleef in ons tyd? Hoe hanteer mens dit? So het die vrae om en om gehardloop in my gedagtes, spore van verdriet en vernietiging gelos in die proses. Amper soos ‘n uitgetrapte voetpad waar die gras nie meer wil groei nie.

Ek het baie oggende gesukkel om my joy te kry in 2020 en selfs in 2021. Alles het net een te veel gevoel by tye. Dis asof die lack of joy net daar was dag in en dag uit. Het ander ook so gevoel? Of is ek die enigste een? Ek is deur moeilike tye, soos elke ander mens gedurende die Pandemie. Ek weet vir seker ek is nie die engiste een gewees wat gesukkel het nie.

Wat vir my altyd die lekkerste is, is wanneer ek op my laagste laag is, voel ek die naaste aan die Here. Dis asof ek Sy stem net duideliker hoor. Ek onthou nog een dag het ek weereens in trane gesit voor my rekenaar, vir my man probeer vertel hoe ek voel. Ek het gesukkel om woorde te kry om vir hom te verduidelik.

Die volgende oomblik hoor ons ‘n liedjie speel oor Spotify. Dis asof die Here net die woorde daar kom sit het sodat my man dit kan hoor. Natuurlik was die trane nog meer toe ek na die woorde luister, want dit het gevoel asof die Here direk met my praat, in verbale, hoorbare vorm.

Ek kan nie verduidelik hoe, wat of waar nie. Maar, na daardie liedjie, het my joy gekom. Dis asof my geesmens rustig geraak het want sy weet die Here sien en hoor ALLES. Hy ken my hart, Hy weet wat maak my gelukkig en wat maak my ongelukkig.

Ek geniet dit nie nou so baie om na die liedjie te luister nie. Seker omdat ek nie meer op DAARDIE lae plek is nie. Maar, wanneer ek sukkel, moeg, afgemat en uitgemergel voel, is dit die liedjie wat ek speel en oor en oor luister.

Die Here is so wonderlik en goed vir ons as mense. Mag ons altyd onthou, wanneer ons op ons laagste laag is, is God daar. Dis waar wat Dawid geskryf het – al gaan ek deur die vallei van die dood, daar is God. Ek weet ek kwoteer nie die presiese woorde nie, maar ek is seker jy verstaan wat ek hier bedoel.

Ek voel ook in my gees dat April se skrif net een inskrywing gaan hê. Bloot omdat dit so eenvoudig is. Hou net aan God soek in alles, al is jy op jou laagste. Gaan SOEK Hom. Hy is oral en as jy eers begin soek sal jy Hom vind. Dít is ook skriftuurlik en kan ek ook van getuig. Ek kies om die Here se stem te hoor en te gaan uitsoek.

I see the tears sitting on your cheeks. I know you’re tired, fall now to sleep. Stop fighting so hard, it’s time to surrender. Raise your white flag, and always remember. Your heart will feel lighter, everything will be brighter, find peace in knowing that all will be well in the morning….hoor ek die liedjie se woorde speel en dink by myself, dis waar. Alles sal beter wees in die oggend!

The joy…
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The Masterclass

Saturday morning, I left the house with an enormous amount of guilt, to attend an in person Masterclass with Aletté Winckler. From Mom-guilt to Wife-guilt to Financial-guilt, you name it I felt it.

Mom-guilt is always there, so everything I do is weighed down by that, by the way. The other two not so much, but they were present on the day. Anyway, I was late leaving and driving to Johannesburg for the event and when I had JUST left the house I realised I never put my earrings in (or on? Which one is it?).

I decided that I CANNOT meet THE STYLE QUEEN herself and not have earrings on. So I sacrificed some travelling time to turn around and fetch the earrings. Anyway, I arrived 5 minutes before it all started, sighing a big sigh of relief.

Needless to say, it was measuring, looking at colours against the face, you name it we did it. I walked over to Aletté (typically of how I am) and introduced myself to her. She must get this all the time and in hindsight I just laugh at myself, but there is a bit more to this introduction and why she would know how I fit into her picture…

I left the house with an enormous amount of guilt.

Elsie Potgieter

I must say, I LOVE listening to her and in person it is even better than on Facebook videos! She did not only speak about color and style, she instilled some word from God and the Holy Spirit spoke directly to my heart when she spoke. Like, we must enjoy the season that we are in. They do not last forever, which is so true. She also said that, at some time or another, we all offend our children and this places a rock between us, which in the end builds a wall.

Realising that I made wrong with both my children, offending them at some time and on some level with something, purely because I was busy with work or something that required my attention at the time….this had placed many rocks between us…

She further said that when you apologise, you remove the rocks and the wall or barrier that the enemy is trying so hard to build up – because he is out to make everyone miserable and ruin relationships! Thank God that I have apologised to my kids when I did wrong, sometimes not enough I think. But I felt there is hope and we are on the right track I hope (and think).

We all offend our children at some stage. This places rocks between us, building a wall.

Aletté Winckler

She also spoke about forgiveness, something God has been talking to me about a lot lately. Sometimes I get it right and other times not so much. But she physically demonstrated that, when you hold something against someone, you are bound to that person for as long as you hold onto the thing you hold against them. What do you call the repetition of the same word in a sentence? Some fancy language label… My word, how is that for holding on to holding something to hold on to….anyway, moving on!

They go on with their lives and you cannot understand why you just cannot move on and live the life you are supposed to live. So true and something God has showed me, yet I keep on forgetting that at times…

Aletté further said that God loves us all uniquely not the same. This was a very interesting fact and something I had not thought about in that manner before….and that is how it is with our children is it not? We love each one as God created them to be. What I realised, is that I need to know and understand myself, my husband and my children even better than what I already do.

If we do not address everyone’s love languages, then the time spent in the house, the place where we are supposed to feel safe and loved, will become torture and awful which will leave scars.

Back to the image stuff. Apparently it takes 1,5 seconds to make an impression (a few years ago it was 7,5 seconds). Wow. Why did this change? I suppose because everything seems to be going faster and faster these days….so naturally things like that will also speed up.

It takes 1,5 seconds to impress someone.

Aletté Winckler

At some stage during the day, the enemy wanted me to feel like he always tries to make me feel. The odd one out. The one that is not pretty enough. The one that did not put her lipstick on (something I am not crazy about wearing but realised that it is a must if I want to leave an impression). I even felt intimidated by each and everyone there, especially the Image Queen herself, with her funky green jacket, white shoes, red lips and all.

As soon as those thoughts started, I then, almost, for a moment proceeded to believe the next lie – that I wore the wrong outfit. Let us face it. Going to something like this is intimidating, as you feel that you will be judged by others. I dressed for comfort more than style and that is purely because of the cold front that came in suddenly and early.

Not that there was something wrong with my outfit, the colour and everything was right I later learned. As all the lies started to march around in my mind, I even had a thought that I messed up the ONE CHANCE that I had to have a gorgeous photo of me and Aletté. She, of course, looked stunning and I looked, well, dull and everything that she is not.

The Holy Spirit immediately started to work with my thoughts, sifting and throwing out the negative seeds the enemy was trying to sow in my spirit. He told me, that, it is OK to have this photo that I perceive to be dull and not so great, about me. Because, the next time that I will meet Aletté, I will know my everything relating to style better and be even better presented. Was this not the purpose of today?

Around about this paragraph, I realised that this entry is going to be longer than the average entry. This is purely because I cannot break this up into chapters, we will loose the essence of what happened on 9 April 2022. I am also writing only in English, not Afrikaans too like I normally do. That is because of a few reasons, one is this piece is very long to translate, two – the class was presented in English due to English people being in the audience, and, three – there are more English people, I believe, who will be reading this entry.

Back to the day. Somewhere during the morning she gave some facts. Like, we as woman dress to impress other woman rather than our husbands. What a shocker, but as soon as she said it, I realised it is so true! My husband’s comment on this statistic is that us women, are always in competition with each other….something to think about too. She then also said that we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. Jip, you read right! She did a calculation and what a shocker about the amount of money we have wasted on garments that are not worn often. Thank goodness I do not shop every season cupboards full of clothes, but, this statistic made me think….I have some sorting out to do in my cupboard….to throw out things I no longer wear…

Woman dress to impress other women, rather than their husbands.

Aletté Winckler

She talked about a lot of other things too. I am not going to write about everything for two reasons. Number 1 – my husband also reads this blog, and she said some things (many of them I had figured out over time) but want to keep it a surprise for our special time together. Number two – those who are reading this who have not attended the Masterclass yet, must do so, I do not want to spoil the fun.

Back to the girly stuff. I was very much surprised to learn that my bonestructure is medium rather than small like I thought my whole life. She continued to bombard us with information, which I tried to make notes of as we went along. Things that I did not know, yet did without knowing why.

The long and short of it all is – the human eye searches for balance the whole time. If you are off balance it looks wrong and you do not feel confident. She also said that, when working from home, you must dress like you are at the office. If you look the part you will act the part. Something which I also always did, because I have worked from home since I was 23 years old (right out of articles starting my own Accounting and Auditing Firm).

We were then divided into two groups – cool and warm. I suspected that I was cool (not the cool as in the OutSurance advertisement where the officer takes his own temperature at the end saying I am still cool). This (being cool) means something, which I cannot put into words because of a lack of sufficient knowledge. Let me say this – I now know what colors to wear, and thank goodness my instincts over time were right! I do not have to replace my entire cupboard – something I am sure my husband will be elated and ecstatic to know.

This is higher grade…

Aletté Winckler

Then they placed colour boards beneath our faces to determine the next thing Cool and clear or Cool and muted as well as another option which I cannot remember. At some stage Aletté was looking at the ladies, then she would say, “Show number one again, show me number three, no back to number two.” It felt like an eye test to me. You know, where you tell the optometrist you want to see lens number one again because…. mmmmm…. number two was very close to number one.

When it was my turn to watch this intriguing process being done on other ladies, I followed Aletté and her team like I don’t know WHAT. I wanted to UNDERSTAND what she was doing. Many times during the process she said it is Higher Grade stuff this. I commented to say it is more like doing a Masters Degree (I suppose that is why she calls it a Master Class is it not?). At one stage I thought my CA exams were easier to grasp and understand than this.

But anyway. Back to the process of determining the next level or step if I may call it that. I looked and looked. There were about two or three ladies where I thought I could see what they were going on about, but I was not sure. It was almost like those 3D pictures that were in the center-fold of the Huisgenoot magazine growing up. I just could not see it! And when you think your eye is trained to see something, it looses it again and then you just think it was your mind playing tricks on you.

Somewhere during the morning Aletté also said that your style that you like to dress in, says a lot about your personality. I did not know this and did not think about it in this way….I did not even know I had a style (with a name nogal)! But, after attending the Masterclass, I know a lot more and I also received access to the SA Image Application, I now have Aletté’s knowledge in the palm of my hand, specially designed for me…I now know my style, colors and a whole lot more…

Your style says a lot about your personality.

Aletté Winckler

On my way home, I thought about the whole day. I realised that we know so little about that which God wants us to know. It was as if the Holy Spirit prompted me to think a bit more about what had just happened and what is busy happening in my life. So many things on so many levels. I feel overwhelmed, but I know this is HOW God works with me. I need to do things on different levels to get the desired outcome…to get ready and prepared for that which He showed me 14 years ago.

I am busy with Ethics training (as you may or may not know) where I am learning about my personality based on the Tall Trees analysis from Hettie Brittz. Somewhere within that process we are working on Emotional Intelligence. I do not know enough to comment on that yet. And now, two days before I have been 40 for a year, I learned about my physical appearance. I also reallised, that with the Tall Trees personalities I must figure out my family’s Tall Trees profiles AND love languages too…

It is as if God is working on me at three different levels at the same time. Body, spirit and soul. Wow is all I can say. It is crazy busy with a husband, two kids, two businesses AND all this going on. Somehow I realised that we HAVE TO MAKE TIME for these things. We cannot just work all the time. All the glory to God for sending all these things to me. Even at times when it seems impossible to fit something like that in too.

I always say – when is a good time to start? (something that Aletté also talked about). I cannot wait until my kids are finished with school. In the process I would have made more damage and left more scars because I did not know them like I should know them! Now is a good a time as any. I mean I normally start crazy things and make hectic changes in my life in February (my busiest time work wise), so then April is not that bad…

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The motivational speech

God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Words that I uttered today at my VERY FIRST (yes you are reading this correctly) opportunity as a motivational speaker at a local school – Highschool Bekker. I don’t know who I quoted today, but two other people have said that to me and I can confirm – IT IS SO TRUE!!!

Just as I was about to leave this afternoon, I felt something at the pit of my stomach. Doubt was trying to do his thing with me, but, I saw him from a mile away and kicked him to one side, not giving him a chance to get close enough to fill my mind with lies and other things.

Inside of me, I feel that I am not a Public Speaker. When I told someone that, they laughed and said Moses also thought that he was not a public speaker. I thought about that for a moment and nodded my head in acknowledgement because I agree with it. Moses had so many excuses about why he could not talk to the Pharaoh.

Back at today’s event. The “feeling” was there, but I just prayed and asked God to place the right words in my mouth, words that He wanted me to give through to the people listening today. Not once did I feel as if my tongue and mouth was all dried up, unable to speak. I did not forget what I wanted to say, even if I did not prepare a formal speech.

AND I did not shake like a leaf in fear of people, like I normally do. God equips the called. That is all that He wanted me to do. He wanted me to get into my car, drive there, speak to the people and He will do the rest. I pray that it was so, because, I cannot remember everything that I said.

Normally when that happens (the part where I cannot remember what was said), I know that it is God that takes over. The long and short of my speech? It is the same thing that I said over and over this past weekend and what the whole Beroepsvrou blog is about…How pink are YOUR feathers for God?

What do you put into yourself so that you reflect pink for Him so that you are a light bearer in this world? Do you filter those things that the world throws at you, casting out the bad? Just like flamingos filter their food, we should filter that which is going on around us.

I pray that God’s message came through, that everyone listened and heard, and that the Holy Spirit will come and water the seeds that were sown so that they will grow. Seeds that will glorify Him.

Mr. Rademan – thank you for the opportunity to talk to your staff today. I pray that I did leave a little bit of something to motivate them, so that they will also have Pink Feathers for God. Because if they have Pink Feathers for God, then the children will start to see it and their feathers will also start to turn pink. This way God will touch everyone to have Pink Feathers for Him and not be ashamed to call them His children.

Lastly I want to sing my praises to God and give Him ALL THE GLORY for today. He equipped me today. I am called and I am His. He will show me the way. He will make a road in the desert, let a river spring forth in the wilderness, just like the scripture reads that is on my notebooks. God confirmed this again to me at the beginning of 2022 – how many more signs do I want? How many sheep skins do I have to put out like Gideon did or see wonders like Moses?

Always remember, God is always with you and if you struggle with something, just pray and ask for help and He WILL come through for you. He will guide you and show you the way that you must go. He’s got your back – that is why you only put on a breastplate that covers the front – you must protect your heart (and of course you must put on the rest of the armor too). God will protect you from behind – always. He has never disappointed me and never will.

He is the same – yesterday, today and tomorrow. I know I am SOLD OUT to Jesus!! Are you? How pink are your feathers for God?

Die motiverings-toespraak
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Die motiverings-toespraak

God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Woorde wat ek vandag geuiter het by my HEEL EERSTE (ja jy lees reg) geleentheid om as motiveringspreker te praat by ‘n plaaslike skool – Hoërskool Bekker. Ek weet nie wie daardie wyse woorde gesê het nie, maar twee mense het dit al vir my gesê en ek kan getuig – DIS SO WAAR!!!

Net voordat ek by die huis ry vanmiddag, voel ek of daar so hol kol op my maag begin kom. Twyfel probeer sy ding met my, maar ek het hom al ‘n myl ver sien aankom en skop hom sommer eenkant toe, gee hom nie kans om naby genoeg te kom om leuens en goed in my kop te prop nie.

Ek voel binne in my, ek is nie ‘n Public Speaker nie. Toe ek dit vir iemand sê, toe lag die persoon en sê Moses het ook gedink hy was nie een nie. Ek dink toe nogal daaraan en knik my kop omdat ek saam stem met dit. Moses het allerhande verskonings gehad oor hoekom hy nie met die Farao (jitte die lyk verkeerd gespel, maar kom ons beweeg aan) kon praat nie.

Terug by vandag. So die hol kol was daar, maar ek het net gebid en gevra dat die Here die regte woorde in my mond sal plaas, dit wat Hy wou deurgee aan die mense wat na my geluister het. Nie een keer het ek gevoel my tong plak vas aan my verhemelte nie (dit gebeur gewoonlik). Ek het nie vergeet wat ek wou sê nie, al het ek nie formeel voorberei met ‘n toespraak nie.

EN ek het nie gebewe soos ‘n riet soos ek altyd doen nie. God equips the called. Dis al wat Hy wou gehad het. Hy wou gehad het dat ek in my kar klim, ry soontoe, gaan praat en dan sal Hy die res doen. Ek bid regtig dat dit so was, want, ek kan nie alles onthou wat ek gesê het nie.

Gewoonlik as dit gebeur (waar ek nie alles kan onthou nie), weet ek dis die Here wat oorneem en praat. Die lang en die kort van my toespraak? Is dieselfde wat ek oor en oor vir mense die naweek ook gesê het, en waaroor die hele Beroepsvrou blog gaan….Hoe pienk is JOU vere vir die Here?

Wat sit jy in jouself in, sodat jy pienk projekteer vir Hom en ‘n ligdraer is in hierdie wêreld? Filter jy dit wat die wêreld na jou toe gooi en werp die slegte uit? Soos wat flaminke hul kos filter, so moet ons alles wat om ons gebeur filter.

Ek bid regtig dat God se boodskap deurgekom het, dat almal geluister het en gehoor het, en dat die Heilige Gees sal kom natmaak sodat die saad wat gesaai is sal opkom. Saad wat Hom sal verheerlik.

Mnr. Rademan – baie dankie vir die geleentheid om jou personeel te kon toespreek vandag. Ek bid regtig dat ek so ietsie gelos het by hulle om hul te motiveer, sodat hulle Pienk Vere vir die Here sal hê. Want as hulle Pienk Vere vir die Here gaan hê, gaan die kinders dit begin sien en so gaan hul vere ook pienk begin verkleur. So gaan die Here almal aanraak om Pienk Vere vir Hom te hê en nie skaam wees om hulle Sy kinders te noem nie.

Laastens wil ek net my lof besing vir God en vir Hom AL DIE EER gee. He equipped me today. I am called and I am His. He will show me the way. Hy sal ‘n pad in die woestyn maak, ‘n rivier in die wildernis soos die skrifvers lees wat ek ontvang het en op my notaboeke ingesit het. Die Here het WEER aan die begin van 2022 vir my dit bevestig – hoeveel meer tekens wil ek dan nou hê? Hoeveel velletjies gaan ek NOG moet uitgooi soos Gideon of wonders sien gebeur soos Moses?

Onthou altyd, God is met jou en as jy sukkel en jy bid en vra vir hulp, SAL die Here deurkom vir jou. Hy sal jou lei en Hy sal jou die pad wys wat jy moet stap. He’s got your back – dis hoekom jy net ‘n borsharnas wat voor bedek aantrek – jy moet jou hart beskerm (en die res van die wapenrusting natuurlik aantrek). God sal jou van agter beskerm – altyd. Hy het my nog nooit teleurgestel nie en sal ook nooit nie.

Hy is dieselfde – gister, vandag en môre. Ek weet ek is UITVERKOOP aan Jesus!! Is jy? Hoe pienk is jou vere vir die Here?

The motivational speech
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The Market

During February (my busiest time ever) I saw an advertisement on Facebook for an Easter Market that will be hosted locally (and literally around the corner of my house). I feel how God is working in my spirit telling me to do this and take this on.

Never in my life, have I done a market myself. I do remember as a child that my mother attended flea markets to sell her handmade wired trees with stones stuck on for leaves (that was high fashion at the time, let me tell you). My sister joined in later, when she was older, making clay objects that were sold.

After writing the previous paragraph, I wonder about two things – why they call it a flea market and why my mom (and sister) sold their handmade items at flea markets? I remember that I was always an eager beaver (almost like my daughter now with the Easter market) – always ready to help.

Well, back to MY first market that I felt God gave me instructions to take on. My goodness, this was a challenge. In my busiest time ever, one Sunday afternoon I designed more mouse pads and notebooks. Because, come on, you cannot do a market like that with one design of a notebook and one of a mouse pad! People need options and choices!

Diaries, tent calendars and desk pads are put to the side at this time, because, by the time it will be the market, it will be April and I am not going to design anything new for 2022 in that regard. Plus, if you missed out on 2022’s products, then you have to watch this space for 2023’s products, to be quick to make your purchase before they are sold out….

Oh my word, I am distracted again. None the less, new designs were done, I submitted the application for the market and take, once again, one MASSIVE leap of faith. Because, what else do you call this that is busy happening? It started with 10 aprons that I ordered, not knowing WHAT to do with it. And here I am, at my first market.

The people that pass my table probably think to themselves, this is a crazy lady. My first words to them are “I write, you can read if you want to.” and then I stick a business card in their hand, whether they want one or not. Then I start chatting about flamingo’s and what God has revealed to me thus far about it.

Some people buy something, others just nod their heads very politely, saying that they will go and read. Nowhere in any of the conversations I had, I introduced myself to them. One woman asked me my name and seemed very keen to read my blog. The free gift (from Sculpted Clay designs – specially designed for me in the shape of the heart of the leave that is in my logo) is a winner, and it seems almost if that is the item that convince some people to buy something.

To sit at the market, talking to people, is probably the easiest part of the whole process. The preparation, on the other hand (oh my goodness – when ever I use that phrase, I think of Naas Botha on Super Sport saying On the other hand Darren) was very interesting. I had this idea in my head of what I wanted to do on the table. I am convinced that the display is also directly from Heaven, because, for the first time ever, I could follow through on the idea that was in my mind AND call it pretty.

I had to sand down (is that the right word? Afrikaans is skuur) wooden boxes, also using paint stripper to remove the excess paint (first time for me but now I know how that works), purely because I did not want to spend MORE money for marketing and the props and who knows what. I borrowed a table cloth, took some things out of my house. Bought some other items and borrowed a last little something from someone. Deciding HOW MUCH stock to buy was another puzzle to resolve….

I thought, going through the stock, just after fetching it, and marking it will be easy. Think again!! It took hours and in the process I learned A LOT. Like – I want to save for a barcode printer of some sort. And have my own table cloths made, and buy a doll on which the apron is displayed. To name only a few.

I did my day job, you know, the one that puts food on the table, between everything and on Thursday, I put 11 hours in (yes – in one day) to finalise that work, before I granted myself the time to take photo’s of the new stock for the website and to finalise the preparation for the Market. What an interesting evening it was. Little sleep, watching a movie between marking and writing the labels, but I managed, by the grace of God and finished in time.

While I was at the market, watching all the people that entered the building, my eyes caught a phrase on one of the posters I made. Flamingo’s are filter feeders…. I stop for a moment to think. Filter feeders. Mmmm… this is interesting. Then it dropped in my spirit like a coin does in a piggybank.

The world and everything around you is full of things. Stuff. Some are good for you and others bad. The things that are the nicest, are not always the best for you. But we have to be like flamingos. We must FILTER what we take in, so that we can be sure to let our feathers change pink and stay that way for God. I googled the meaning of filter feeder. As opposed to predators who seek out specialized food items, filter feeding is simply opening up your mouth and taking in whatever happens to be there, while filtering out the undesirable parts. Wow. It is up to us to purify what we take in. To cast out the bad and undesirable items.

Wow. This is such an interesting journey that I am on. God reveals everything systematically to me as I go along, while taking the next step blindly to follow Him. Unconditional. Faith like a child. A mustard seed’s faith. Placing hope on that which cannot be seen. Planted and rooted in Him so that the winds of doubt will not let me be moved around like waves in the ocean. Everything out of scripture.

I’m sold out….nananana Jesus….I’m SOLD OUT TO YOU!!! These words are dancing around again in my mind. The song that God gave me as the theme song for everything (if I can call it that) – the whole Beroepsvrou thing. I listen to it often, yet I cannot remember the words exactly if the song is not playing. Long and short is – I am SOLD OUT to Jesus. I am like the song says – DIFFERENT than other people. Created for THIS purpose.

I ain’t like no one you’ve met before. I’m running for the front when they’re all running for the door. And I won’t sit down, won’t back out, you can never shut me up, ’cause I’m on a mission and I won’t quit now. In a world full of followers, I’ll be a leader, in a world full of doubters, I’ll be a believer. I’m stepping out without a hesitation. Because the battle’s already been won. I’m sold out, I’m no longer living just for myself. Running after Jesus with my whole heart. And now I’m ready to show I am sold out, I’m sold out!!!

I have to stop myself from typing the whole song here. But I am sure you understand what I am trying to say. This song just TALKS to my spirit. I cannot have anything less than Pink Feathers for God and to tell people about that. I pray that seed was sown through conversations and that the Holy Spirit will water it when the time is right for those people. Thank you God that You chose ME for this purpose and may I ALWAYS glorify God’s name.

Die Mark
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Die Mark

Gedurende Februarie (my besigste tyd ooit) sien ek ‘n advertensie op Facebook vir ‘n Paasmark wat plaaslik (en letterlik om die draai van ons huis) aangebied word. Ek voel hoe die Here in my gees werk en my aansê om dit aan te pak.

Ek het nog nooit in my lewe ‘n mark self gedoen nie. Ek onthou wel as kind het my ma gereeld by vlooimarkte gaan sit en haar handgemaakte draadboompies met klippies opgeplak (dit was hoogmode kan ek net vir julle vertel) gaan verkoop. My sussie het later klei goedjies begin maak en ook verkoop.

Ek wonder oor twee goed na ek die vorige paragraaf geskryf het – hoekom noem hulle dit ‘n vlooimark en hoekom het my ma (en sussie) hul handgemaakte goed gaan verkoop by vlooimarkte? Ek onthou ek was altyd eager beaver (amper soos wat my dogtertjie nou is met die Paasmark) en gretig om te help.

Nou ja, terug by MY eerste mark wat ek voel die Here instruksie gegee het om aan te pak. Liewe aarde, was dit nou vir jou ‘n storie. In my besigste tyd ooit, gaan sit ek toe natuurlik een Sondagmiddag en ontwerp nog muismatte (ek like nogals die Afrikaanse woord – ek voel gesofistikeerd as ek hom gebruik) en notaboeke. Mense het opsies en keuses nodig.

Dagboeke, tentkalenders en deskpads staan vir eers opsy, want, teen die tyd dat dit die mark is, sal ons al in April wees en ek gaan nie nou vir 2022 enige iets nuuts in daardie opsig ontwerp nie. Plus, as jy nou uitgemis het op 2022 se produkte, moet jy maar die spasie dop hou vir 2023 se produkte en vinnig wees om dit op te raap voor dit uitverkoop is….

Ai, daar raak ek ALWEER distracted. Nie te min, nuwe ontwerpe word gedoen, ek skryf myself in vir die mark en vat weereens een MOEWIESE geloofstap. Want wat anders noem mens dit wat besig is om te gebeur? Dit het begin met 10 voorskote wat ek laat maak het en nie geweet het WAT ek met dit gaan doen nie. En hier is ek nou, by my eerste mark.

Die mense wat by my tafel verby loop dink seker by hulself, die vrou is mal. Want my eerste woorde aan hulle is “Ek skryf, jy kan gaan lees as jy wil.” en dan prop ek ‘n besigheidskaartjie in hul hand, of hul nou een wil hê of nie. Dan begin ek gesels en vertel hulle van die flaminke en wat die Here reeds aan my openbaar het oor dit.

Sommige mense koop iets, ander knik net ordentlik en sê dis reg, hul sal gaan lees. Nêrens in die gesprekke wat ek gehad het, het ek myself voorgestel nie. Een vrou het my gevra wat is my naam en gretig gelyk om te gaan lees. Die gratis geskenkie (van Sculpted Clay Designs – spesiaal ontwerp vir my in die vorm van die hartjie wat in my logo se blaartjie is) is ‘n wenner, en dit lyk amper of dit die oortuiging is vir sommige mense om iets te koop.

Om by die mark te sit en met mense te praat is die maklikste deel seker ooit van die hele proses. Die voorbereiding, aan die ander kant, was nogals ‘n interessante een gewees. Ek het hierdie idee in my kop gehad van wat ek wou doen op die tafel. Ek is oortuig dit kom ook direk uit die Hemel uit, want vir die eerste keer kon ek dit wat in my kop was uitvoer en deurvoer en dit mooi noem.

Ek moes houtboksies afskuur met paint stripper bloot omdat ek nie NOG geld wou uitlê vir bemarking en props en wie weet wat alles nie. Ek het ‘n tafeldoek geleen. Ander goed uit my huis uit geneem. (Haai dit rym maar ek is nie besig met ‘n gedig nie). Nog goed gaan koop, en ‘n laaste ietsie weer gaan leen by iemand. Om te moes besluit HOEVEEL voorraad om te koop was nog ‘n taai toffie en tameletjie om deur te werk….

Ek het gedink, om die voorraad na te gaan, na ek dit gaan afhaal het, en te merk gaan vinnig gaan. Think again!! Dit het ure geneem en in die proses het ek BAIE geleer. Soos dat ek geld wil spaar vir ‘n klein barcode drukkertjie van ‘n aard. En maar tog my eie tafeldoeke wil laat maak, en ‘n pop waarop die voorskoot hang gaan koop. Om net ‘n paar te noem.

Ek het my day job, jy weet, die een wat die kos op die tafel sit, gedoen tussen alles deur en Donderdag voor die mark begin het, het ek 11 ure ingesit (in een dag ja) om daardie werk afgehandel te kry, voor ek myself die tyd gegun het om my website foto’s te neem van die nuwe voorraad en klaar voor te berei vir die Mark. Wat ‘n interessante aand was dit nie gewees nie. Min slaap, fliek kyk tussen merk en skryf deur, maar tog het ek dit, met die genade van God, gedoen en klaar gemaak.

Terwyl ek so by die mark sit en na al die mense kyk wat inkom, vang my oog die plakkaat wat ek gemaak het. Ek lees in Engels Flamingo’s are filter feeders…. ek gaan stop ‘n oomblik om te dink. Filtervoerders. Mmmm….dis interessant. Toe val dit in my gees soos wanneer jy ‘n muntstuk in ‘n spaarbussie gooi.

Die wêreld en alles om jou is vol GOED. Stuff, dinge. Sommige is goed vir jou en sommige is sleg vir jou. Die goed wat die lekkerste is, is nie noodwendig die beste vir jou nie. Maar ons moet mos soos flaminke wees. Ons moet FILTER wat ons inneem, sodat ons kan seker wees ons vere pienk word en so bly vir die Here. Ek gaan lees weer in die H.A.T. op – die betekenis van filter. Dit lui as volg: Toestel wat deur deursyging suiwer; suiweringstoestel, filtreerder. Wow. Dis vir ons om dit wat ons inneem, te suiwer. Die slegte uit te werp soos wat ‘n filter doen.

Wow. Die is vir my so ‘n interessante journey wat ek op is. Die Here openbaar alles stelselmatig vir my soos wat ek aangaan en die volgende tree blindelings gee om Hom te volg. Onvoorwaardelik. Met geloof soos ‘n kind. ‘n Mosterdsaadjie se geloof. Hoop op die onsienlike. Geanker in Hom sodat die winde van ongeloof my nie sal laat ronddobber soos golwe nie. Alles skriftuurlik.

I’m sold out….nananana Jesus….I’m SOLD OUT TO YOU!!! Dans die woorde weer in my kop. Die liedjie wat die Here vir my gegee het as die temalied vir alles – die hele Beroepsvrou ding. Ek luister hom gereeld maar tog onthou ek nie die woorde as ek nie die liedjie self hoor nie. Lang en kort is – ek is UITVERKOOP aan Jesus. Ek is soos die liedjie sê – ANDERS as ander mense. Geskape vir HIERDIE doel.

I ain’t like no one you’ve met before. I’m running for the front when they’re all running for the door. And I won’t sit down, won’t back out, you can never shut me up, ’cause I’m on a mission and I won’t quit now. In a world full of followers, I’ll be a leader, in a world full of doubters, I’ll be a believer. I’m stepping out without a hesitation. Because the battle’s already been won. I’m sold out, I’m no longer living just for myself. Running after Jesus with my whole heart. And now I’m ready to show I am sold out, I’m sold out!!!

Ek moet omtrent myself keer om nie die hele liedjie hier te tik nie. Maar ek is seker jy verstaan wat ek probeer sê. Die liedjie PRAAT net met my gees. Ek kan nie anders as om Pienk Vere vir die Here te hê nie en vir mense te vertel van dit nie. Ek bid dat al die saad wat gesaai is deur gesprekke, water sal kry van die Heilige Gees af en sal groei en versprei wanneer die tyd reg is vir daardie mense. Dankie Here dat U MY gekies het vir die doel en mag ek ALTYD die Here se naam GROOT maak.

The Market
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The countdown timer

I first did this entry directly on Facebook, thinking it will only be a one liner that goes with this photo. It then turned out to be a chapter of some sort and I decided that I need to put this on my website for those who read my blog and who are not on Facebook.

I was looking for something on my phone when this photo popped up. I forgot I took it. Every time I think back to 2020 I feel like crying. It was probably the worst time ever for humanity. Driving around in what felt like a ghost town. Fearing the unknown and invisible virus. Wondering if you will catch it at the shops and bring it home to infect your loved ones.

Waiting in queues at shops to buy food, not being able to find everything you normally do. Being glared at by people when you buy both Corn Flakes AND All Bran, silently being labelled as a panic buyer, when in fact that is what your family consumes.

Every person on this earth was affected by the Pandemic. Everyone experienced trauma. Everyone needs to learn to cope with it and make peace with the fact that 2020 will be a part of your memories, whether you like it or not.

I do not ever want to have that time again. Lockdown was terrible. Having to homeschool and work (which I am still trying to catch up by the way – the work part). Trying to stay sane. Trying to catch my breath and just breathe. Trying myself, to work through massive trauma but trying to stay standing for my kids’ sake.

Not knowing what the future holds. The uncertainties. No wonder everyone suffers from anxiety or anything related to it. No one knows how to deal with it. How are we supposed to expect our kids to not have anxiety?

Before we judge anyone on anything now, two years later, just take a moment and think of their mental health and their trauma that they had to work through. Your trauma is not more traumatic than my trauma. Trauma is trauma and it affects us all.

I pray that God will take away these painful memories, the tears that often want to well up in my eyes as I feel the change of season and being reminded of 2 years ago, even if I did not willfully want to remember it. Thank God that I can call myself His child.

Because of the Pandemic my blog and new business came into existence (all unplanned but out of His hand). God used the bad and made it good and better. May we stop focusing on the MINORITY of bad and focus on the MAJORITY of good.

I pray that my children are not permanently scarred. I did not always act like a mother during that time. We all had our moments. I did not know how to deal with it. I expected my kids to just go on and do their school work like they are not affected by this thing.

I am sure my heart will still ache and tears will still come to my eyes this time of the year, for a few years to come. But one day I will get up and that will be a thing of the past.

Thank you God for protecting us, keeping us safe, for providing for us in spite of a very difficult economy. All the glory be to God always! Thank you that one day, soon and in the near future, the change of season will not affect my emotions like it is currently affected. Thank you that we will be able to function as “normal” as we possibly can, living with the unseen virus.

Die “countdown timer”
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Die “countdown timer”

Ek het eers die inskrywing direk op Facebook gedoen, gedink dit sal ‘n one liner wees wat saam met die foto gaan. Dit het toe uitgedraai om ‘n hoofstuk te wees van een of ander aard en ek het toe besluit dat ek die op my webblad moet sit vir die gehoor wat nie op Facebook is nie.

Ek het vir iets gesoek op my foon, toe díe foto opkom. Ek het vergeet ek het dit geneem. Elke keer as ek terug dink aan 2020, voel ek lus om te huil. Dit was seker een van die ergste tye ooit vir die mensdom. Om rond te ry in wat gevoel het soos ‘n spook dorp. Vrees vir die onbekende en ongesiende virus. Die onsekerheid of jy die virus in die winkels sal optel en huis toe bring na jou geliefdes toe.

Die gewag in rye buite die winkels om kos te koop, die sukkel om goed in die hande te kry wat jy normaalweg koop. Die aangluur van ander as jy durf waag om ‘n beide ‘n pak Corn Flakes EN All Bran te koop, daar waar jy stilweg deur hul gemerk word as ‘n panic buyer, wanneer dit eintlik iets is wat jou gesin normaalweg gebruik.

Elke persoon op hierdie aarde was deur die Pandemie geaffekteer. Almal moet leer cope met dit en 2020 gaan deel van ons memories (ek kan nou nie die Afrikaanse woord onthou vir memories nie) wees vir altyd, of ons nou daarvan hou of nie.

Ek wil nooit weer in my lewe daardie tyd hê nie. Lockdown was aaklig. Om te moes homeschool en werk (iets wat ek steeds probeer opvang net so tussen ons – die werk gedeelte). Om te probeer sane bly. Om my asem te probeer terug kry en net asem te haal. Om self te probeer werk deur massiewe trauma maar terselfde tyd staande te bly vir my kinders se onthalwe.

Nie weet wat die toekoms in hou nie. Die onsekerheid. Geen wonder amper almal sukkel met angs of enige iets verwant aan dit nie. Niemand weet hoe om daarmee te deal nie. Hoe is ons veronderstel om te verwag dat ons kinders nie angs het nie?

Voor ons enige iemand oordeel, twee jaar later, vat net ‘n oomblik en dink aan hul mental health en hulle trauma waardeur hulle moet werk. Jou trauma is nie meer traumaties as my trauma nie. Trauma is trauma en dit affekteer ons almal.

Ek bid dat God genesing sal bring vir hierdie pynvolle herinneringe (uiteindelik kom ek op die Afrikaanse woord vir memories), die trane wat gereeld wil opdam in my oë as ek voel hoe die seisoen verander, dit alles terwyl ek onwillekeurig aan 2 jaar terug herinner word, al is dit nie doelbewus nie. Dank die Here ek kan myself Sy kind noem.

As gevolg van die Pandemie het my webjoernaal en nuwe besigheid / bediening tot stand gekom (alles onbepland maar uit Sy hand). God het die sleg gebruik en dit goed en beter gemaak. Mag ons ophou fokus op die MINDERHEID van slegte dinge en fokus op die MEERDERHEID van goeie dinge.

Ek bid dat my kinders nie permanente skade het nie. Ek het nie altyd soos ‘n ma opgetree in daardie tyd nie (nou nog soms ook). Ons almal het ons oomblikke. Ek het nie geweet hoe om daarmee te deal nie. Ek het van my kinders verwag om aan te gaan met hul skool werk asof hulle glad nie geaffekteer word deur die ding nie.

Ek is seker my hart sal steeds pyn en die trane gaan ook in my oë kom die tyd van die jaar. Vir nog ‘n paar jaar gaan dit so wees. Maar eendag gaan ek opstaan en dit gaan ‘n ding van die verlede wees.

Dankie Here vir U beskerming, dat U ons veilig hou en vir ons voorsien ten spyte van ‘n baie moeilike ekonomiese omstandighede. Al die eer aan die Here altyd! Dankie dat eendag, gou en in die nabye toekoms, dat die verandering van seisoen my emosies nie meer gaan affekteer soos dit tans doen nie. Dankie dat ons gou weer soos “normaal” as wat ons moontlik kan, leef met die onsigbare virus.

The countdown timer
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The training continues…. month 3

My word! I have been doing daily journaling entries like mad! Trying to catch up the lost time since September. Guess what? Life is busy happening while I try doing this, so my plan seems to be full of flaws…

Again I almost had a panic attack (this feels like it happens on a daily basis for the silliest things) about this training and HOW am I going to catch up on this??? I only have access for 12 months and my time is almost up….

Just as I was about to take out the brown paperbag to regulate my heavy and uneven breathing, I feel the Holy Spirit calm me down like only He can do. There is nothing that I can compare His calmness to….not Lavender, white noise or any other thing that has a calming, soothing effect.

My thoughts and anxiety and all the other emotions come to a screetching halt. You know, like when you were driving like a crazy person and saw the huge speed hump almost to late? Like that!

I felt Him drop into my spirit that I do not have to have all the journaling entries done at the same time, writing out a week’s journal prompts in 15 minutes. The purpose of this is, after all, to let you grow as a person. So no one is going to experience true growth if everything is rushed!! The journaling is a process that has to be done bit by bit and not necessarily in chunks like I am trying to do.

I sit back for a moment and think, true that! High five, fist pump and booty shake with the Holy Spirit for that revelation. But then I ask Him “So HOW am I supposed to catch up on the lost time?” His answer is simple. “Download the content that is currently available, work through the video’s and other material and do the online assessment.”

He continues: That should do it. The journaling is a process and a journey you are on, you are not supposed to rush that. The online assessments are like all other training. You can do many shortly after another. You will be storing the knowledge for use later.

I have not tried this yet and perhaps that should be my plan of action? To do it like that? I think it is time for watching videos and reading the material, while walking on the treadmill and then doing the assessments….

Die opleiding gaan voort…. maand 3
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Die opleiding gaan voort…. maand 3

Oh my hat!! Ek het my daaglikse joernaal inskrywings gedoen soos ek weet nie wat nie! Probeer opvang op verlore tyd sedert September. Raai wat? Die lewe is besig om te gebeur terwyl ek dit probeer doen, so my plan voel of hy propvol foute is….en nie deurgevoer kan word nie...

Weereens het ek amper ‘n panic attack (dit voel deesdae of dit daagliks gebeur vir die simpelste goed) oor hierdie opleiding en HOE ek veronderstel is om dit op te vang??? Ek het net toegang vir 12 maande en die tyd is amper op….

Net soos ek bruinpapiersak wil gryp om my asemhaling te reguleer, voel ek die Heilige Gees my kalmeer soos net Hy kan doen. Daar is niks waarmee ek Sy kalmte mee kan vergelyk nie….nie Laventel (hoe is daai vir ‘n properse Afrikaanse woord?), white noise of enige ander ding wat kalmerend is nie.

My gedagtes en angs asook honderd en tien ander emosies kom tot ‘n skreeuende stilstand. Jy weet, soos wanneer jy soos ‘n mal mens bestuur (kom nou – ons almal doen dit soms…) en skielik ‘n groot spoedhobbel amper te laat sien. Net so!

Ek voel hoe Hy in my gees laat val dat ek nie al die joernaalinskrywings op dieselfde tyd hoef te doen nie. Ek hoef nie te probeer om ‘n week se joernaalinskrywings in 15 minute te doen nie. Die doel van dit is mos om jou as ‘n persoon te laat groei. So niemand gaan ware groei ervaar as alles afgerammel word nie!! Die joernaalinskrywings is ‘n proses wat bietjie vir bietjie gedoen moet word en hoef nie noodwendig in groot hompe gedoen te word soos wat ek nou probeer doen nie.

Ek sit terug en dink vir ‘n oomblik en besluit true that! High five, fist pump en booty shake met die Heilige Gees vir daardie openbaring. Maar dan vra ek Hom so HOE is ek veronderstel om op te vang op verlore tyd? Sy antwoord is eenvoudig. “Laai die inhoud af wat tans beskikbaar is, werk deur die video’s en ander materiaal en doen die aanlyn assesserings.”

Hy gaan voort: “Dit behoort dit te doen. Die joernaalinskrywings is ‘n proses en ‘n reis wat jy op is, jy is nie veronderstel om deur dit te jaag nie. Die aanlyn klasse en asseserings is soos alle ander opleiding. Jy kan baie na mekaar doen. Jy gaan die kennis stoor vir latere gebruik.”

Ek het nog nie dit probeer nie en miskien moet dit my plan van aksie word? Om dit so te doen? Ek dink dis weer tyd om videos te kyk en materiaal te lees terwyl ek op die treadmill loop en dan die assesserings aan te pak….

The training continues…. month 3
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The song… finalé

I thought it was a good idea to start writing the closing chapter. The days fly past and the weeks even faster, I do not want to be caught off guard and out of time, not writing the final chapter before end of March.

When I started writing this chapter, there were two weeks left in March. Now it is basically one week (ok less than one week). I still wonder on a daily basis, why the time goes by so quickly and if God is shortening our time because we are in the Oppression times that the bible talks about?

Back to the song. The devil is still trying to steal my song and he thinks he is going to get it right. But, it is actually hillarious to me when things start to feel upside down for me, the way that it is sometimes, because then I KNOW that I am on the right path and that this ís what God wants me to do.

My heart is still singing different songs for God, all that other artists have written, and it is as if I cannot sing His praises enough. After all, He gave me life and the breath that I breathe, so I cannot do anything less than to sing His praises, can I?

Every so often, it feels as if my heart and spirit wants to sing its own song to God. I truly hope that His ears are not sensitive to off-tune songs (oh my word is off-tune even a word? I am sure you understand what I am saying here, in Afrikaans we call it vals sing – not quite keeping to the tune). In my opinion, my physical person does not sing very beautifully at all (even if I was selected for the school choir and revue’s AND even landed up in a recording studio to record songs – I often wonder if the teacher that chose me just liked me or did she really see the potential in my singing abilities?).

Anyway, I laugh at the thought of how I sound in God’s ears when I sing and whether He will like it; whether it will be on the right tune or not, and whether any of these factors have an influence over His liking it or not? I don’t think I have to sing perfectly for Him to appreciate it?

We are all imperfect humans, are we not? If this was the case (perfect singing) then everything in our lives must be perfect before He will accept us, and that is surely a lie!! God takes us as we are, broken and full of mistakes. As long as we accept HIM and His son is declared as our Saviour in our lives, then we are on the right track. And of course we have to live like this daily and strive to be holy like Jesus (and stop sinning the same sins over and over).

My song will always praise God. Especially now in March (a very busy March for me) as I reflect on what happened the past year i.t.o. my blog. How I have grown, how God has just added and keeps on adding. I am so grateful that I was able to celebrate the first birthday on 23 March 2022. Grateful for the knowledge that He instilled in me and still does.

The wisdom that He gives me and people that He lets my path cross with, just to make everything even better for the purpose for which He has created this. What is your song? Do you have a song? It does not matter if you can sing or not and whether you can write or not. You must still SING for God! Does the devil try to steal your song? If that is the case, then you should be jumping for joy, because that means that you are on the right road!

I want to close off with a few songs that are on my heart, songs that I sing to God over and over. Songs that I search frequently on Spotify, while I am doing my day job AND preparing for the Easter Market that lies ahead…for those of you that is close enough, come and visit me at my table 1 to 4 April 2022 at Gerber Plaaskombuis in Skeerpoort. The first 7 purchasers each day will receive a free gift…

And just a last little thing to close off completely – I include my first two entries (in Afrikaans – sorry hope Google translate will work for you) of my blog as short cut links on this entry. Just so that we all can see where I was and where the blog is now – all the glory to God!

Welkom by my blad
Die Naam….
Die lied… slot

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Die lied… slot

Ek het dit goed gedink om maar die slot hoofstuk te skryf. Die dae snel verby en die weke nog vinniger en ek wil nie dat die tyd my vang en dan het ek nie geleentheid gehad om die slot hoofstuk te skryf voor einde Maart nie.

Toe ek die stuk begin skryf het was daar nog twee weke van Maart oor. Nou is dit basies een week (ok minder as ‘n week). Ek wonder elke dag steeds hoekom die tyd so vinnig vlieg en of die Here ons tyd verkort hier omdat ons in die Verdrukkingstyd is?

Terug by die lied. Die ou duiwel probeer steeds my lied steel, en hy dink hy gaan reg kom. Maar, dis eintlik vir my skreeu snaaks as dinge so deurmekaar is soos wat dit soms is by ons, want dan WEET ek net dat ek op die regte pad is en dat díe is wat die Here wil hê ek moet doen.

My hart sing steeds verskeie liedere vir die Here, alles wat ander kunstenaars geskryf en getoonset het (is dit ooit ‘n woord wonder ek?) en dis asof ek nie genoeg Sy lof kan besing nie. Hy het, after all, die asem in my liggaam geblaas, so ek kan nie iets minder doen as om Hom te besing nie kan ek?

Dit voel hier en daar of my hart en gees ‘n eie lied vir die Here wil sing. Ek hoop maar Sy ore is nie toonhoogte sensitief nie, want my fisiese mens kan nou nie mooi sing in my opinie nie (al was ek in die skoolkoor en revue’s EN in ‘n studio om liedjies op te neem – wonder ek maar steeds of die juffrou my net gelike het en of het sy regtig potensiaal gesien in my sang vermoë?).

Elkgeval, ek giggel maar as ek dink aan hoe ek vir myself klink as ek sing; en hoe dit in God se ore moet klink; en of Hy daarvan hou; en of alles mooi op die regte toonhoogte moet wees of nie, vir Hom, voor Hy daarvan sal hou nie? Ek dink darem nie ek hoef perfek te sing vir Hom om dit te waardeer nie?

Ons is dan almal mense wat nie perfek is nie. As dit die geval was (perfekte sang) dan moet alles in ons lewens seker perfek wees voor Hy ons sal aanvaar, en dis vir seker ‘n leuen!! Die Here vat ons soos ons is, stukkend en propvol foute. Solank ons HOM aanvaar en Sy seun as Verlosser verklaar het oor ons lewens, is ons op die regte pad. En natuurlik moet ons dit uitleef elke dag ook en streef na heiligmaking (en minder dieselfde sondes doen oor en oor).

My lied sal altyd God se lof besing. Veral nou in Maart (‘n baie besige Maart vir my) as ek terugkyk na wat die afgelope jaar gebeur het i.t.v. my blog. Hoe ek gegroei het, hoe die Here net bygevoeg het en steeds byvoeg. Ek is so bitter dankbaar dat ek die eerste verjaarsdag kon vier op 23 Maart 2022. Dankbaar vir al die kennis wat die Here in my ingesit het en steeds doen.

Die wysheid wat Hy my gee en die mense wat Hy oor my pad stuur, net om alles nóg beter te maak vir Sy doel waarvoor Hy dit geskep het. Wat is jou lied? Het jy ‘n lied? Dit maak nie saak of jy kan sing of nie en of jy kan skryf of nie. Jy moet steeds SING vir die Here! Probeer die duiwel jou lied steel? As dit die geval is moet jy op en af spring van opgewondenheid, want dit beteken jy is op die regte pad!

Ek wil afsluit met ‘n paar liedjies wat op my hart is, wat ek oor en oor vir die Here sing. Liedjies wat ek kort-kort gaan soek en speel op Spotify, so terwyl ek my day job doen EN voorberei vir die Paasmark wat voorlê…vir die wat naby genoeg is, kom kuier by my stalletjie 1 tot 4 April 2022 by Gerber Plaaskombuis op Skeerpoort. Die eerste 7 aankopers elke dag sal ‘n gratis geskenkie ontvang…

En net so laaste dingetjie om heeltemal mee af te sluit – ek sluit my eerste twee blog inskrywings ook in as kort-pad skakels op die inskrywing. Net sodat ons almal kan sien waar ek was en waar die blog nou is – alle eer aan God!

Welkom by my blad
Die Naam….
The song… finalé